Social Question

rebbel's avatar

Do you call your wife your wife? [Details inside].

Asked by rebbel (31549points) January 7th, 2012

Or your husband your husband.
Yesterday I had a chat with one of my colleauges.
I already knew he had children.
He mentioned them and also he mentioned his girlfriend.
I hesitated to ask but I did anyway, if his girlfriend was the mother of his children.
He said that yes, she was, and he was actually married with her.
She was his girlfriend when they met some twenty odd years ago, and she still is now (even though she is, legally, his wife).
He told me that he just cannot get it out of his mouth, the words “This is my wife.”
I am not married myself, but when I think of how I would introduce my girlfriend, once we are, I must admit that it sounds a little ‘alien’ to say “This is my wife” instead of “This is my girlfriend”.
What say you?

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22 Answers

SavoirFaire's avatar

I do. It wasn’t alien to start calling her that so much as it was just new. But it was also exciting, so I went with it whole-heartedly. My married guy friends report having felt similarly.

marinelife's avatar

My husband calls me his wife. I admit to a twinge when he does it in my hearing. (I think part of me does not want to belong to anyone).

mrrich724's avatar

I just say “this is Leah.” I don’t find the need to claim her as anything else, as it’s obvious by the rings on our fingers.

I didn’t say girlfriend when she was that, and I don’t say wife now. I introduce her as an individual, by her name.

john65pennington's avatar

Your wife is your wife is your wife.

This is why I refer to my wife as my “better half”.

Heck, after 46 years of marriage, everybody knows we are married to each other.

You don’t see one without the other.

Response moderated
digitalimpression's avatar

Well, Aragorn, I actually sort of like the idea of referring to your wife as your girlfriend. Not in the sense that the relationship is subject to change, or that you have other girlfriends.. but that it may keep the relationship sounding a little more “fresh” . On the other hand, I’m sure your wife would like to be referred to with 1001 other terms of endearment besides girlfriend. I dunno.. just rambling now.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I call him by name, usually. But, I never call him my “boyfriend.” He’s my husband. I’m also guilty of using “hubby,” which I know some people hate. He calls me his “old lady.”

SavoirFaire's avatar

It seems to me that the OP mentions two different kinds of situations. There is a difference between introducing and mentioning, and so different modes of reference may be appropriate based on the situation.

If I just start talking to you about a woman named Xiaomei, you’ll probably stop me at some point to ask who the heck Xiaomei is. If I start talking to you about my wife, you won’t need to stop me and ask for clarification. If we run into each other in real life, on the other hand, it makes more sense to say “this is Xiaomei” or “this is Xiaomei, my wife.”

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

It changed over time. She used to be my “baby”... then my “wife”... then my “old lady”... then my “zilla”. Now for simplicity, I just refer to her as the devil.

Charles's avatar

I call my wife by her SSN. It just seem logical and it is very unique.

Actually I call her “Funny” because when we met she was wearing these funny sunglasses and since then that became her nickname I use.

rooeytoo's avatar

I don’t understand, doesn’t he want to acknowledge the fact that he is married? Why can’t he get the words out?

I call my husband my husband and he calls me his wife. I never thought of it as ownership, more of relationship. I like the way it sounds.

tinyfaery's avatar

I do. And some people have a hard time hearing it. I make sure I say it excessively around these people.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

He refers to me as his wife and I refer to him as my husband unless it’s people we already know and then we use each other’s names.

Nullo's avatar

I’d call my wife my wife. Sure, it sounds a bit odd, but I’m sure I’d get used to it.

Blondesjon's avatar

Nah, she’s my old lady.

In all fairness, I’m her old man.

rooeytoo's avatar

@Blondesjon – I believe you are her old man, but she is way too young and cute to be your old lady!!!

Rarebear's avatar

Yeah, but it feels weird. It feels just as weird for her to call me “husband.”

Harold's avatar

No, it’s never been weird at all. Still seems right after 26 years.

augustlan's avatar

If you don’t know my husband’s name, I refer to him as my husband. If you do, I refer to him as Mark. (Unless you also know his son, and his son’s son, who are also named Mark. Then I refer to him as ”my Mark”.)

I introduce him as “Mark” or “my husband, Mark.”

InkyAnn's avatar

We’re not married yet, but I would introduce my husband “This is my husband Josh” just as he would would say “This is my wife Keri”. I would be proud to call him my husband and to let the world know that this is the person I love and chose to spend the rest of my life with in every way, heart, soul and legally.

Judi's avatar

Sometimes I call him my boyfriend. I’ll say, “I’m so glad you’re my boyfriend.”.
It’s a way of saying that I still feel madly in love with him, like I did when I was his girlfriend instead of his wife.

janbb's avatar

It kind of gave me a thrill when we were first married to say “my husband.” Right now – it feels odd in another way since I don’t know what our status is. But for clarity, I think it makes sense to refer to someone as your husband or wife if you are married to them. One locution that I can’t stand is someone referring to “the wife.”

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