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Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Do you hate it when posters you like start fighting with each other?

Asked by Imadethisupwithnoforethought (14635points) January 9th, 2012

For example, you log in to Fluther, pour a drink, pull up a random thread that looks interesting, and several users you respect seem very upset with each other.

Can you give either of them Lurve for a great answer without looking like you are picking a side? Should you give it to both?

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38 Answers

WestRiverrat's avatar

I don’t hate it if they are respecting each other while fighting over the topic. In fact I prefer it when people are passionate about their positions.

Even the ones I disagree with sometime have points that may make me stop and reevaluate my position. Those are the best posts of all. I have given people who have gotten into heated debates with me GA when I think they are warranted.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I don’t know that I am as sensitive to the “fighting” as some seem to be. Not that I like it, but for me there is a disconnect. When I am arguing, debating, disagreeing with someone… that changes nothing about how I feel or what I think about that person. I can see that same person tomorrow, no hard feelings… and move on. I like to think that we all can, as long as it doesn’t boil down to the point where someone is taking jabs at another jelly that are personal. But, I think it is rare to see that, especially between jellies that have been around any length of time.

Jude's avatar

Doesn’t bother me at all.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Rather curious, isn’t it? When you see two Flutheronians who tout themselves as having intelligence and decorum, result to slinging mud and insults, it is rather disheartening, and unbecoming to either of them. I am all for hard and passionate debate, but it should always be done civilly. I feel when it degrades to one or more calling others out of their name, it is because that Flutheronian lost his/her cool, because they had an argument that could not stand and they do not wish to capitulate and resign to the fact it didn’t. That usually don’t garner a GA, because to me, knowing that there is only 100 life-time lurve, I have to treat them like gold medals or Congressional Medals of Honor, I can’t sling them about like jaw breakers in the candy dish. It is not about taking sides or appearing like that, it is more of preserving the lurve for when they really said something profound.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@filmfann lmao

Sometimes it doesn’t bother me at all and sometimes it makes my eyeballs itch. Depends on the argument and the people involved.

Aethelflaed's avatar

No. Just because I like both of them doesn’t mean they have to like each other.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Never happened to me because I don’t like anyone on this site.
Well there’s maybe like 5 people I like and a few others I can tolerate

nikipedia's avatar

I don’t like it one bit, and I’m usually surprised when it happens.

There is this policy over at wikipedia—that when you edit a page, you should act in good faith, and when you see someone else making an edit, you should assume good faith on their part.

I think most of us here are pretty good at the first part—it’s similar to the “disagree without being disagreeable” guideline. But the second part, assuming that everyone else is doing the same, tends not to really happen, I think.

I have been here for a long time, and I know when I am being disagreeable or acting in bad faith. It happens (and to be honest, sometimes I don’t feel even a little bit bad about it). I guess I can’t speak for anyone else, but I think most of us are here with the best of intentions, and we would do well to remember that everyone else means just as well as we do.

everephebe's avatar

It’s disagreeable when everyone agrees all the time.

Blackberry's avatar

I’m not a moderator lol. They’re adults who can speak as they please.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

As long as I don’t feel like any of them are being rude, I don’t care all that much if I don’t plan on contributing to the thread.

judochop's avatar

Honestly I wish more folks fought. Those threads go longer and the more people seem to aver in different directions.
I dislike it when people can’t get over it and move beyond it, to the next question.
I am guilty of it however I tend to think more of the hoity-toity folks around here are guilty of it all the time.
It’s things like the fighting that drew apart this website and community. There are folks here that I enjoy and lurve and I’d be happy to disagree with them and call bullshit to them if I thought it was…Just as I would expect everyone else to do.
You know the saying I am sure…. Arguing on the internet is like running a race in the special olympics.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I thought you meant posters. Like the ones on the wall. I was afraid that the Galileo and the Lego ones were going to do battle. But then they shouted AAAAAAYYYYYOOOOO and I started to dance.
Crap, I just realized only that only 2 people here will get that. Well, I hope you guys chuckled.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

LMFAO. I bet Galileo wins.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Phew. Then it was worth it.
Sorry, @Imadethisupwithnoforethought , I will try to figure out a way to share.

As to your Q, it doesn’t bother me unless people get mean or rude. I’m often relieved that it’s not me, cuz it too often is me.

talljasperman's avatar

Are the moderators trained in mediation on social networking sites?

wundayatta's avatar

Doesn’t really matter what you do. No one knows who gives out lurve.

chyna's avatar

I might try to diffuse it with pm’s to both of them.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

As long as they don’t means and start calling each other, “A$$ Wipes”. ~~

fundevogel's avatar

One of the things I like about Fluther, is that you and I can be sharpening our teeth on each others’ bones in one thread and, without stopping to catch a breath, start joking around about something entirely different in another. Tell me where else that happens.

@Michael_Huntington I don’t like you either.

AshLeigh's avatar

I think it’s kind of entertaining…
I’ve only really been in one fight on Fluther, and I was just having a bad day. I deserved everything they said to me. XD

Blackberry's avatar

@Michael_Huntington You have 6 GAs, so that means you have more than 5 friends :)

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@Blackberry I typically give everybody a ga.

wundayatta's avatar

“Asshat” is a pretty insulting term, I agree. What is it about euphemisms that makes them so much more insulting than the original term?

augustlan's avatar

I dislike discord in general, but as long as people aren’t being really mean, I’m ok with it. I fucking hate it when people cross the line into cruelty.

fundevogel's avatar

^ That’s why she’s HBIC.

JLeslie's avatar

It usually doesn’t bother me. Some arguments I really enjoy and find interesting. If the posters seem up for the argument, no one is shrinking like a violet or getting hurt feelings, then it can be entertaining. I give lurve to both all the time. A good answer is a good answer. If someone feels very offended or attacked personally then it can be troubling; luckily we mod that stuff.

JilltheTooth's avatar

For clarification of my first post, I saw this and this yesterday on FB, had me singing and giggling all day. Sorry, @Imadethisupwithnoforethought , but these are worth it…

bkcunningham's avatar

I understand now. AYYYYYYYYYO. too funny

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Dammit @JilltheTooth! I just got that song out of my head and…. ARGH!

Lightlyseared's avatar

It is perfectly possible to disagree with someone quite violently while still being friends and treating them with respect. That doesn’t bother me at all. Everything else I flag and let the mods sort out.

Bellatrix's avatar

Generally, it’s between them. As long the argument is kept to a civil level, and they don’t put me in the middle, that’s fine. I can handle them talking to me about the dispute, as long as they don’t want me to take sides.

MilkyWay's avatar

When that happens , as it happens quite often, I just sit back and enjoy the show. I really do find it quite amusing, and if I really find an answer great, than I will give them lurve, regardless of who they are, or even if I don’t agree with them.

bkcunningham's avatar

Sometimes I picture it like a slug-fest on Jerry Springer. Auggie, Auggie, Auggie. You don’t want anyone to know you are watching, but you can’t turn the channel until the paternity test results are back.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@bkcunningham I’m still waiting for that child support check, you deadbeat!

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