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Mantralantis's avatar

What are some of the best ways to surprise a woman, making her feel very special?

Asked by Mantralantis (1502points) January 14th, 2012

Coming from a guy (that is), how could a woman feel very happy and important, if amazingly surprised?

Wryter’s Note: I swear I hate filling in the darn details every time, even though I know most main questions need to be ahem graciously supported. Yep. Be Good.

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18 Answers

geeky_mama's avatar

This is very individual..so first a word of caution.
His Ex only felt love if she was gifted jewelry..so if your woman falls into that category the things that thrill me aren’t going to help you a bit. So, first and foremost..you have to realize that this is entirely about what makes her tick.
That said I’ll tell you what my husband does that makes me insanely happy:

When he picks me up from a trip at the airport he knows that what I want most of all is my favorite iced tea. Just last Monday when he picked me up he not only brought my iced tea prepared just how I like it (with a slice of orange, in my favorite cup with lots of ice) he brewed it in advance (because there was none in the house).

It was the thought he put into it..preparing it, bringing it with him as he drove to get me.. THAT’s what pleased me so much. Meant so much more than being greeted with a generic bouquet of flowers at arrivals.
He also knows I have a thing about keeping our sink SUPER clean. So he takes care to scrub the sink out with Soft Scrub (with bleach) before I get home from work trips. He is so thoughtful…and I am so happy.

One last example:
He likes to listen to NPR all day and occasionally will hear of a new band, book or artist he thinks I might like. Because he knows me so well he’ll send me a little note with a song, snippet of the book or link to the artist. It’s like…a life concierge. He meets my needs in advance of me even wishing for things at times. How surprising and lovely he makes my life. :) (And he’s a wonderful husband and father on top of all this. I am a very, very lucky girl.)

Aethelflaed's avatar

Maybe this is just me, but a good, long round of oral sex tends is better than all the jewelry in the world.

Pandora's avatar

Really listening and treating her as if she is your peer in everyway.
Having real discussions without ever making her feel dumb for her own personal views, even when you don’t agree.
I know that is what made me and still does make me feel special with my husband. He accepts all of me even when he doesn’t agree. He accepts that its what makes me the individual he loves.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Chocolate. It is ambrosia, after all.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Simply being open, honest, truthful…..for me the least said the better. Actions always speak louder than words. When I say actions, I don’t mean gifts and flowers and the likes.

linguaphile's avatar

For me, I’d feel extremely special if someone found me interesting enough to stay up chatting, and talk the moon out of the sky, then not want to stop chatting. I would also feel special if, like @geeky_mama‘s spouse, my wants were important enough to be anticipated because that’s something I do for loved ones. Once I was surprised when someone noticed my quirk while eating (one thing at a time, clockwise) and said it was cute.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Don’t give me chocolate.
Do get excited about looking at the moon with me.
Don’t write me a poem.
Do take the time to teach me something new.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Try a little tenderness

King_Pariah's avatar

Do the dishes, dust and vacuum the house, do the laundry, fix her meals, scrub the floors, pull weeds, give her a massage (or two, or three), keep yourself in presentable attire. You know, make her feel appreciated or a queen, meh, same thing. lol

Mantralantis's avatar

Hmm…very insightful, thanks.

Now, so far, I have prolonged oral sex, one very personal concierge, quick honesty, some ambrosiac chocolate, a bit of clockwise quirk noticing, moon gravitations, something new – not blue, for gosh sakes, eh, tend to her – what was that, again?, some up all night owl chatting, one very personal maid, and being presentable (must I have to wear a tie? etc.). Was I listening?

So. . .anything else out there more, or less, compelling to learn…

Sunny2's avatar

You missed the underlying answer in all the responses: Find something that will be special to her. If you don’t know, you can have fun trying out all the suggestions. And, if you have young kids, consider if she would appreciate your taking the kids out so she could have an afternoon to herself. Some women would love that; others would want to come along.

Mantralantis's avatar

Okay then, special-time-off-from-the-kids-if-you-have-kids-so-you-and-possibly-others-can-get- along.

Anyone else?

jazmina88's avatar

flowers…...

marinelife's avatar

Plan a day’s outing and kidnap her. Take her to a destination with a spa and great views (the beach; the mountains). Check into your B&B or boutique hotel. Then send her to the spa for a half day of pampering. Spend the afternoon in your room making love. Then take her out to dinner to a four-star restaurant.

She will adore it.

Charles's avatar

I would do things that would surprise her in a pleasant way such as take out the trash, put my dishes in the dishwasher, clean up the crumbs off the floor and counter, put my empty soda cans in the trash, put the toilet seat down, and change the poopy diapers instead of just the “number 1“s.

flowers

If I bought my wife flowers, she’d kick my butt for wasting money.

linguaphile's avatar

Has anyone read the 5 Love Languages?

The book basically talks about 5 ways that we show love for each other and that we tend to give love in a way that we want love given to us—the 5 areas are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

The book talks about how we don’t feel loved or special if we don’t receive love in our ‘love language’—the challenge happens when two people have completely different love languages and aren’t giving/receiving what they need to feel special.

My love language is Quality Time. If I get flowers… it’s nice but… not amazing. @Charles list suggests that he is giving Acts of Services as his way of showing love. If his wife has Acts of Services as part of her love languages or at least recognizes it as a gift, she’d feel special and be thrilled.

I know we’re not as simplistic as only 5 areas of love-showing, but the book helped me see how people show love and feel special differently. My daughter couldn’t care less about getting gifts—it’s so blah for her, but my son, he really feels valued through gift receiving, so when the grandparents send boxes and boxes for my daughter… she appreciates it but she enjoys quality time and words of affirmation far, far more than gifts and my son gets really, really deeply hurt that he didn’t get the same boxes. It helped me understand my kids more and not to discredit the ways they felt special.

So… when you want to make your SO or loved one feel special… maybe look at their “love language” and give them what makes them feel special. Best way to find out—look at what they give… usually what they give is what they want to receive.

mazingerz88's avatar

Think of that thing which she wants you to do yet it’s your most hated activity ever. Then do it.

Mantralantis's avatar

@mazingerz88 – Yeah, that seemingly should work every time. But I pity the fool that goes that far and it somehow backfires. Yep.

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