Social Question

auhsojsa's avatar

How do you personally blow off your friends in a nice way?

Asked by auhsojsa (2516points) January 30th, 2012

I’m 24, married, going to have a child soon and my friends are my age. I have predominantly male friends and they love to have “bro” time and just love going out overall. You know, going out means money. Even when they say, “Come and just hang out you don’t have to buy anything” they don’t really get the point that I just don’t want to go out when I say, “No thanks guys I’d rather not spend I’m broke at the moment.”

What are some polite ways to tell your buddies you can’t/don’t want to hang out?

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13 Answers

CardAngel's avatar

If they’re your friends they’ll understand it as you explained it here.

auhsojsa's avatar

@CardAngel I mean, what do you personally say to your friends?

CardAngel's avatar

Just say what you said in your question above. Tell them it isn’t because you don’t like their company, it’s only because you don’t want to spend money you don’t have or would rather not spend. True friends will understand.

Congratulations on the baby!

saint's avatar

I have done this. You say “I’m going to have a kid and I have to save my money. Nothing personal. Have one for me. I will catch up later.”
Not that hard

nromstadt's avatar

I’m in a very different situation than you – but I, personally, usually make up a believable excuse if a simple “Nah, I think I’m gonna just stay in tonight” doesn’t suffice. It’s probably pretty transparent, but if you don’t want to share the money problems, you’ve gotta get creative.

Coloma's avatar

You say, ” things have changed for me lately and I’ll let YOU know when I can afford to go out.”
I’d also tell them that being a new father soon is going to change things and you hope they can hang with that.
Your friends need to grow up and respect that things shift. You’re about to become a dad, this means that a lot of your party days are OVER. If you want to be a really together dad.

Once in awhile, but trust me, the best way to wreck your relationship with a new baby is to have the guys dragging you off to party all the time.

Ch ch ch changes signed, The old broad. lol

Judi's avatar

It’s a transition. It’s great that you are committed to your family though. It sounds like you’re the first one to have kids and that’s going to make it tough. My first husband had a really hard time. He didn’t want to appear, “pussy whipped,” and we had many an argument about his priorities.
Your friends really won’t understand until they are in the same situation as you, and some of them still won’t understand and will have difficult relationships.
You really just have to say, “hey, I love ya bro, but my priorities are different now.”

marinelife's avatar

You need to perhaps invite them over to see the baby and to see how your life has changed.

You can say, “My life is different now. I’m married, and I’m going to be a dad. No time to party.”

JaneraSolomon's avatar

Say “Sorry, the ball-and-chain keeps me on a short leash” ... and wink.
They’ll mutter, go away, and you won’t see much of them again.

Male's avatar

I don’t blow them off nicely with some excuse, I just say it straight (but nicely, of course).

If I don’t wanna get together I’ll just say something like “not tonight,” or “I’m not really up for it tonight.” No excuses or lies. How hard could it be?

lemming's avatar

Just say your really busy at the moment, and have something ready if they ask why, like: you are decorating the kids room, or there is a lot going on at work

MollyMcGuire's avatar

If they are really friends you wouldn’t be worried about being polite. “I don’t want to go” should be easy for you to say and understandable to these so-called friends.

sliceswiththings's avatar

I’d say “Sorry, I’m not up for it tonight, but why don’t you all come over on Sunday morning for pancakes?” Give them bro time through a bit of domesticity!

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