Social Question

Jude's avatar

If you suffered sexual or physical abuse as a child, as an adult, do you have anything to do with your abuser (assuming that he or she is still alive)

Asked by Jude (32098points) February 9th, 2012

Sadly, I am related to my abuser. I do talk with him, but choose not to have a close relationship with him (brother/sister). I find that he does his best to get involved in my life, but I won’t let him go there.


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8 Answers

augustlan's avatar

For a long time, I did, because he was always at family events. At some point, though, I realized it was making me crazy, and I finally said “no more!” If he was attending, I didn’t go. It was a sacrifice, because the rest of my family was very close. I missed having Christmas at my grandparent’s house and such, but it was definitely better for me to cut ties.

picante's avatar

My abuser (uncle) died several years ago. My events were from my childhood (he was an adult). Neither I nor any member of my immediate family had anything to do with him following the “incidents.”

King_Pariah's avatar

Physical/Psychological abusers: Parents, I deal with them everyday, and it’s nice to see that they broke the cycle of abuse, but anger, hate, those feelings stay.

Sexual abuser: I was one of the “uncommon” cases where the person who, yeah… was a complete stranger, never saw him again.

dubsrayboo's avatar

It’s taken several years but I’ve been able to cultivate a healthy relationship with my abuser. I don’t associate with him too much but there are no hard feelings. My brother on the other hand could care less if the abuser curled up in a ball and fell into the Grand Canyon.

I have other family members that have treated me horribly and I no longer associate with them. They can be the ones falling into the Grand Canyon for all I care. This is where I need to work on forgiveness.

tinyfaery's avatar

I haven’t talked to my dad in almost a year. I guess I secretly would like to have a dad, but in reality I feel ambivalent about it. Maybe it’s best I don’t think about it

tranquilsea's avatar

My mom was physically abusive. We had a complicated relationship until the day she died. I loved her but I didn’t love the things she did sometimes.

Sadly, I could never talk to her about the things that happened as she’d get incensed. So I have this whole in my heart that could have only been filled by her apology. Reasonably I know she would have never acknowledged nor apologized but now that she’s dead there is no possibility that she could.

OpryLeigh's avatar

He’s dead.

I didn’t kill him by the way. I realise my answer is quite short and sinister! He died of natural causes.

augustlan's avatar

Mine’s dead now, too. Certainly makes avoiding him easier!

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