What are your thoughts on Tommy Jordan's parenting methods?

He’s an asshole. And so is his daughter. She’s an asshole apple that didn’t fall far from the asshole tree. He could have handled her antics A LOT more constructively and I feel like everyone is missing a bigger piece of the story. Additionally, he makes gun owners look like douchetards, which personally offends me (he breaks several gun safety rules in the course of a few seconds).

In short, I judge him to be shitty at parenting and I’ve chided everyone I’ve seen on Facebook who has posted his video in an “attaboy” congratulatory manner.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I was disturbed by his grandstanding like attitude (if that makes any sense). I think there are many ways he could have dealt with this situation with out A) making it public and B) destroying her property.

Him handling a gun is almost as scary a thought as him raising a teen.

@tranquilsea I thought it was awesome. A kid who uses a laptop paid for by her parents to have a hissy fit and slander her parents deserves nothing less. The teenager is obviously a spoiled brat, and although I was a bit weirded out that the dad was being so brazen with his gun.. the teenager needed a lesson..

@tranquilsea, that’s precisely how I felt. Even if the property wasn’t technically hers.
Also, I get the feeling there may be some underlying psychological issues with his daughter. That’s why I say I feel like we don’t know the whole story.

Reminds me of my parents being nicer than normal back in the day. Of course they’re not so stupid as to upload a video onto the web

I’m going to re-post a comment I found on a gun forum about this guy that effectively sums up my feelings on the matter better than I personally can:

“Stupid is as stupid does.

It seems he is unimpressed with the product of his rearing. yet his responsibility in it seems to have escaped him.

Posting family shit on the web… I wonder where she got the idea from.

Shooting a valuable laptop in your neighborhood with your back door as a backstop. Sutpid. (Sic) Perhaps he shoulld have just sold it.

One upmanship is a poor form of teaching.

Drama boy raises drama girl, no surprise there.

Wanna bet he’ll regret this video when she claims he threaatens (sic) her with his gun.”

If you pay close attention to the video you can tell a lot of thought didn’t go into it. He must’ve done it a close few hours to finding out about it.
Yes, he was angry, but you can hear the extreme hurt in his voice. You can tell he thought he was being the best dad by updating her computer and then she wounded him. You can tell he loves his daughter but he needed to find a way to vent his anger and hurt. He felt betrayed and no doubt he thought his daughter was the last person who would ever do that. I bet the day before she went on and on, telling dad he was so great to update her computer. All the while bashing him on line. All teenagers exaggerate what horrible things go on in the home to gain sympathy with friends or to impress them with their rebel behavior. But broadcasting it on the internet where anyone can see is idiotic. Personally, that is why I think facebook should’nt be allowed for any kid under the age of 18. They let their hormones take over and shit spews from their mouths without giving a second thought to how it may affect those around them.
I think she really did step in it and may have damaged her relationship with her dad.
I hope other teens look at this and think about what they will post on line. There is no reason that she couldn’t have just chatted about her fustrations on line to her friends privately without posting it on line. She posted it because she didn’t care what anyone would think or her dad.
I would be extremely hurt if I was him too.

If this situation can in any way be skewed enough to shutdown facebook forever, I’d sign the petition. God forbid we have to go back to communicating on the phone or by email again… holy schneikeys.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I think his aim was to make her suffer the same humiliation he felt. He addresses it to her friends. Who honestly probably took her post and shared it with others and then that is how it came to his attention. They probably called him names in there blogs because his daughter made him sound horrible.
I’m not saying he took the adult approach but I think with the hurt and the shame and betrayal all combined. I’m glad he only took a childish approach instead of putting those bullets in her. There are few people in life who can really hurt a person, and they are usually those closest to you. You can she he loves her a lot which is why he lost his marbles for a while. He really didn’t see this coming.
Bet he is one of those people who thought his daughter was his best pal and forgot how to be a parent first.

@Pandora I see what you’re saying, but I don’t think he’s excused and I still think it was a stupid thing to do.

If I started shooting things every time someone I cared about hurt my little feelings, I’d be really low on ammo. Tommy needs to grow the fuck up.

I think he handled things the wrong way. Making a video and posting in on YouTube is definitely too much in my opinion. I don’t have a problem with him destroying the laptop, though using a gun to do so was not the best idea in my opinion. I get that he felt he needed to teach her a lesson, but I think there are other things he could have done in the privacy of their own home.

@Pandora In the video, he mentions that she has done something like this before and that she had just recently been grounded for it, so I doubt he was totally caught unaware with this.

Wow…so far tonight Fluther has informed me of Whitney Houstons death and now this little charade. lol
My god, I live a sheltered life, the loop loops without me.
Well, lets see….the usual dysfunction of dysfunctionals.
Looks like he successfully “killed” the computer. haha

Who’s the child in this situation? One can’t tell where the minor begins and the adolescent ends. I think I need a program (anybody got a spoon?)..

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Yep. I did say in my second post that I still thought it childish. However, I never expect when someone is thoroughly hurt to ever not be childish. He should’ve waited at least a whole day and thought about it before simply reacting. Goodness knows there have been times in my life where I just wanted to let go and really let the steam out all at once but I knew from experience that it was always better to wait. My rational mind always came up with a better way of getting revenge than when I let emotions of the moment dictate. So I would cool off and then either get revenge in a very adult way (if one can call revenge adult.LOL) or I would consider if maybe it wasn’t so bad and I made a mountain over a mole hill.
@Seaofclouds He could still be surprised. Yes he said she had done something similar but the fact that he couldn’t remember means it wasn’t anything so life shattering to him or he would’ve remembered. She no doubt just posted something before that he didn’t find that personally offensive. Maybe she said some things to her pals before on facebook that he thought was mean or rude but he was never attacted by her before. Especially if he thought she thought him a cool dad.

I agree with everything @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard has said. The daughter learned to be a spoiled brat at a very early age. She wasn’t born that way.

A couple drama queens getting their 15 minutes. That’s what I think.

I’m so happy I taught my children about respect before they ever touched a keyboard.

His discipline seems acceptable. Publishing it online seemed a little over the top.

My sister has twins that are 13 an a 16 year old boy. She has never hit any of them or fucked with them in this manner.

So why can she do it and this guy can’t?

Posting a video like that online is just a cry for attention. He’s gaining fame from what his daughter did.

Raising kids is a tough job, I’m not saying it’s not, however…

Lots of kids have disrespected their parents. I don’t understand what makes this guy so special. Destroying your child’s property is not the best way to discipline them. This is sending them the message that it’s ok to handle things like that. That violence is ok and the answer to everything. It’s mind boggling why people are being so supportive of him. He acted so recklessly, if I were the daughter, I’d be scared for my life for even opening my mouth for fear of worse punishment.

It seems the daughter didn’t have much respect for her father and probably has even less now.

He is a barbaric cave man, and he should lose custody of his daughter.
I am surprised he shot the computer instead of her.
It also seems clear why she posted it on facebook. It was her only release valve, because obviously she felt she could not talk to her parents about her frustration, and the so called “father’s” reaction clearly demonstrates why she felt that way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfPjxUU0g9o
“Who’s that riding in the sun?
Who’s the man with the itchy gun?
Who’s the man who kills for fun?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.

He sleeps with a gun
but he loves his son
Killed his wife ‘cos she weighed a ton.
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.

A little touched or so we’re told
Killed his wife ‘cos she had a cold
Might as well she was gettin’ old
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.

He’s quick with a gun
And his job ain’t done.
Killed his wife by twenty-one,
Psycho Dad!

Who’s that riding in the sleigh?
Who’s that firing along the way?
Who’s roughing up bums on Christmas day?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad

Who’s the tall, dark stranger there.
The one with the gun and the icy stare.
The one with the scalp of his ex-wife’s hair!
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!

Who’s that riding across the plain?
Who’s lost count of the wives he’s slain?
Who’s the man who’s plumb insane?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad

He’s a durn good pa, but he hates the law.
He’s likes to eat it raw, He’s Psycho Dad!”

Kids are a product of their parents. I think this girl is only learning from her dad how to behave. However I think his morals are in the right place, but his actions are a little OTT. If there were more parent’s out there that gave a damn about the children they bring into this world then perhaps we wouldn’t see so many children behaving like brats. What is the ‘normal’ way to bring up your child and discipline and educate? He wasn’t violent, aggressive or nasty, he simply stated that her behaviour would not be tolerated, something so many parents say and don’t back up! There are ways and means of doing things, and this is his.

The media loves to hype a drama, and had they gotten hold of this story before this guy had posted and edited it, goodness knows what we would be reading about it. There are far worse out there with money that drown their children in money and no discipline and leave them to bring themselves up from 16.

My personal opinion on this is, if you wanna teach your kid a lesson, then always follow through your threats. Love and respect them, but don’t take the crap. I like this guy, he seems genuine and loving.

@AshlynM I agree with you comment except for the part of destroying her property. He paid for it all, so it is his property. From the roof over her head to the meals she’s fed and the clothing on her back. Nothing really belongs to her unless she paid for it or someone else gave it to her as a gift. Someone other than mom or dad. Parents can destroy anything they purchase.
Personally, I would’ve put it up for sale in a yard sale, and made her watch as I pocketed the money I recieved for it.

somehow there seem two threads on this topic

The father has a troubled child that posts a letter on facebook that seems inappropriate, or a cry for help, or… whatever…
If my child would be doing that, I would definitely not be happy. I might be angry, but I would also be worried.
What I find more and most worrying about this video, though, is that this father seems to be able to cultivate anger in a very impressive way. He prepared the video etc, then had a 7 minute rant and then still he was angry enough to take a handgun and shoot her laptop and put the video on youtube.
Any father (anyone) that would get so upset about something his daughter does, would be better to learn to chill out before making decisions. This guy taking out a handgun and use it in anger is scary. Specially since his child seemed to be the object of his anger.
No way to justify that, in my mind.

He’s a cunt.

I agree the girl needs some discipline, (but they sure have her do quite a lot of chores, if her message is accurate) but publicly humiliating your daughter on fucking Facebook isn’t the way to do it, at least I don’t think. And whatever the aim was at here, now that this is all famous and everyone knows about it, it must be something else entirely for her. It says she got over it, but eh…after all this, do you really think she has? She’s a 15 years old girl. Teenagehood can be turbulent and confusing, and all this ’‘fame’’ must be getting to her. Imagine going to school, and for the next two months everyone is constantly saying how they saw this and everything. I wouldn’t be able to hack it. Maybe I’m too soft.
Once I screamed to my dad, ’‘fuck you!’’ I sure as fuck learned my lesson after that…but he handled it in a mature and humane way, and made me understand how shitty that was of me.
I denno man…he says ’‘that’s how I was raised’’, but he didn’t have Facebook in his day. You gotta get with the times and understand that some passed factors just don’t apply to today, and I don’t agree with this tough love shit anyways. I do think she deserved punishment, but certainly not this way.
And if she really is upset about all the chores and shit, maybe her dad coulda sat down with her and try to solve this some other way. Find out why she’s so pissed at him, instead of going for the an eye for an eye shit. Comprehension is the key, not tough love. And shooting a laptop, what the hell man. The article says that he did this partly to make her stop taking material possessions for granted; I’m not entirely sure how the destruction of a laptop reinforces this point.

If I was a were one, I’d want Fiddle to be my Dad, and Symbeline to be my Mom. Well said, the both of you.

Well that does it. @Symbeline and I are to wed, and we shall adopt @Jude as our daughter.

*meant to say, a wee one

I approve of my new family. You’re both so going to get overcuddled. :D

I had a talk with my 16 year old son last night about this. I told him that when he’s been super frustrating to parent the most I’ve put on Facebook has been “teenagers are giving me a headache”. He said that he’s done the same on his page…although he’s blocked me from reading his updates which is something I didn’t know because I don’t “creep his Facebook” (his words).

I understand his need for privacy and the fact that we live in the 21st Century where kids communicate over the Internet probably more often than they do face to face.

I guess I’m not that intimidating as he constantly has 5 or 6 friends over even though I’m an introvert and would like more privacy and down time. I like him and like his friends so I’m willing to be easy on that point.

Did he think the laptop was really the problem?
Did he think a gun was really the solution?

He was reacting. His show of violence to a laptop was insane.

He allowed his daughters words to create a power struggle in their relationship.

I suspect he has a low EQ emotional quotient and even lower empathy.

He should not be allowed to own a firearm while he is raising said daughter.

I’ve thought about this some more and clearly these two have a power struggle going on. The dad should be trying to stop the one-upmanship that is going on. Instead he is just feeding the fire. He is clearly trying to control her because he hasn’t realized yet that you can’t control another individual. They have their own lives to live and mistakes to make.

By the time kids are teenagers parents should have a relationship where they guide and correct by talking. There are some points where you need to ground a kid if their behaviour has been egregious. But you still guide and talk through the grounding.