Social Question

auhsojsa's avatar

What was it like to have a father growing up?

Asked by auhsojsa (2516points) February 12th, 2012

How did it affect your life up to now?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

21 Answers

JilltheTooth's avatar

I’ll be interested to see how people interpret this Q. For me, it simply was, I knew nothing else, my Dad was always there. I am a Single mother by Choice, however, and my daughter has said basically the same thing, that our situation was normal for her, she never knew differently so she couldn’t comment on the lack.

Pandora's avatar

I think this question can never really be answered correctly as @JilltheTooth has mentioned. I never knew what it was like to grow up without one. My father did pass away when I was 18 almost 19, so I was pretty grown already. I was fortunate to learn a great deal from my father. To value myself and others, and how to be patient and to look beyond what others present themselves to be.
But he was the kindest person I have ever known. I had friends who were not so lucky in the dad department. So their view would be a lot different.
One other thing my dad taught me. Be happy for what I got and try my best to make the best of things.

CaptainHarley's avatar

My mother left my father and me right after I was born. My father didn’t think he could raise me and work full time, so he had my grandparents, his parents, raise me from infancy to about 12. What’s it like to suddenly have a father after being raised by grandparents until age 12? Tortuous!

tinyfaery's avatar

It sucked.

laureth's avatar

I am also interested in this question. I was raised by a single lesbian mom. People tell me that I suffered for not having a father (some go so far as to call it “child abuse” to deny me a hetero-parented household), but it was just normal. Never did figure what fathers add, so I’d love to hear.

Sunny2's avatar

It was having a role model who was always right. I couldn’t talk to him without his telling me what I ought to think, even if I didn’t agree. It was not being able to measure up to his standards. It was being told to take care of my mother when he went off to the navy. I was 12.
I don’t think he knew how to relate to children. As an adult, I’m sorry for him, because he missed a lot of the joy of fatherhood. Or maybe he didn’t. It ceased to matter long ago.

john65pennington's avatar

My dad was my hero. He was in the Navy and a boxer. He was a great provider and mentor for my brother and I.

I miss him.

Seaofclouds's avatar

My dad was an over-the-road truck driver my whole life (still is today). He would come home for a weekend about once every 3 months or so (on average, sometimes it was longer). My dad and I have a very strained relationship due to things that happened while I was growing up that I don’t feel like discussing. The times he came home were hell for my mom, myself, and my brother. He would expect things to be how he wanted them, even though he wasn’t normally there. He had no clue what our house was normally like and how we normally did things. My parents ended up getting divorced when I was 18 and it was one of the best things for my mom. I was so happy for her.

I haven’t spoken to my dad in well over a year and I’m fine with that.

chyna's avatar

My dad died when I was a teen ager, but when he was alive, he worked so much that he was never home. So I didn’t really know him.

YARNLADY's avatar

My Dad was the most important person in my life. He was a hard worker, and a very strict disciplinarian, but also very loving and always honest and fair. He came from a farm background, and was raised with 4 brothers, so he didn’t really understand girls or women, but he was super intelligent, and tried hard.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I got to grow up working with my dad. He was hardworking and responsible and he loved having fun. I learned a lot from him. It was a great experience. Guys, be there for your children.

marinelife's avatar

It was complicated. I loved my father and I learned many good things from him. But he was subject to terrible rages (undiagnosed OCD) and I was afraid of him too. He made my childhood hell. I was constantly on watch for him to become enraged.

filmfann's avatar

My dad was very well known in his field (auto racing), but was usually only home on Sunday.
He was a towering figure in my life, and 28 years after his death, still looms large to me.

geeky_mama's avatar

I am so very similar to my father..I’m glad he’s been a part of my life so I can see where I get a lot of my personality traits (both positive and negative).

He wasn’t very involved in my life as a young child..but he’s more than made up for it with his involvement in my teen and adult years.

AshLeigh's avatar

I wish I could say that it was wonderful.
I wish I could say he was nice, and that he loved me.
I wish I could say that he never hit my mother, or me.
I wish I could say something good about the experience.
I wish I could say the divorce upsets me.
I wish I could say I’m not glad he’s mostly out of my life.
I wish none of that would be a lie…

sliceswiththings's avatar

Ohh this makes me sad. I’m currently 3,000 miles from home and missing my parents deeply. I was thinking about my amazing dad last night. In my case, he made me who I am. I have his stupid sense of humor, tendency to hum at all times, slight social awkwardness, love of being home, and legs (according to my grandma). If it weren’t for him, I may not have had my first kiss as it was (he knew I was going on my first date at age 16 and maybe a special garlic-less pesto for my dinner, while the rest of the family ate full strength pesto). What a guy. No idea how I’m going to ever live without him.

Linda_Owl's avatar

I have no idea what it is like to grow up with a Father, my Father abandoned my Mother & me when I was born. My Mother remarried when I was six years old & she ultimately discovered that he was a ‘functioning alcoholic’ with a very short temper. Needless to say he & I did not get along at all & I left home as soon as I graduated from high school. Not growing up with a Father created problems within my first marriage because I had no idea how a Father was supposed to act with his kids. I tended to function just as I had when I was a kid & I had to run interference between my step-father & my younger siblings in order to keep them safe. It was not necessary where my husband was concerned but I still tended to try to keep them from bothering him when he got home from work.

King_Pariah's avatar

Up until I was 15, my dad was fairly harsh and short tempered to say the least. In hindsight i realize he was abusive, somehow the birth of my baby bro when I was 12 got him to start calming down and becoming an involved, loving, patient father by when I turned 15. He still has outbursts but those are mostly due to physical pain that wracks his body than anything else. However, even as I approach 21, I cannot forgive what happened those 15 years and still hold resentment, anger, and hatred. However, I’d take him over my mother any day.

tranquilsea's avatar

My dad falls somewhere on the Autistic Disorder spectrum. He thinks he has some kind of relationship with me but in reality he doesn’t. That sucked growing up. I always thought, “if I tried harder” he would notice me and want to get to know me. I’m still waiting…

jazmina88's avatar

My biological father died drunk after a shriner parade when I was 2. My step father Guy, died of cancer a year after I moved there. My second step father was an alcoholic.

I dont trust men. if my father cant even stand behind me, who else would?
Boy, surprised I answered this one.

Bellatrix's avatar

I adored my dad. He was my true north. The person I could always go to for solace and when I needed the truth. I knew he was always there for me and loved me totally, regardless of anything I did. I had huge respect for him. I valued him as a person and I feel very, very lucky to have had him in my life. I think perhaps I valued him more because my mum dying meant I was conscious that people do die and can die at a very early age.

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