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nikipedia's avatar

Have you ever forgiven someone for something you previously considered unforgivable?

Asked by nikipedia (27454points) February 18th, 2012

What was it, and was forgiveness the right choice?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

19 Answers

digitalimpression's avatar

Yes. Someone was unfaithful. It was the right choice for me.

Matthew 18:21–22
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Bellatrix's avatar

Yes, a relative who was very emotionally abusive. There came a time when I decided hanging on to the negative feelings against her was doing me more harm than her. She doesn’t even remember (or chooses not to) so I have forgiven her. I met her last year and I actually felt sorry for her. Her behaviour wasn’t borne from a need to be cruel to me, but out of her own insecurity.

Coloma's avatar

Yes. Doesn’t mean they are still in my life, but, It’s all about peoples levels of consciousness and awareness. Do you have to forgive a rattlesnake for being a rattlesnake?
Nope..but you don’t try to kiss it on it’s little viper head either. lol

Blackberry's avatar

Yeah, it’s too bad I already banished them to the underworld, though.

Coloma's avatar

@Blackberry You’re a dark prince. lol

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yes, can’t tell you, and yes it was the right choice.

filmfann's avatar

Yes, my step-daughter. It was as bad as you can imagine, but she was genuinely sorry.

Ponderer983's avatar

Yes – I forgave an ex for cheating on me which I swore I would never do, but we ended up breaking up anyway cause I never trusted him again. So it was the wrong choice for me. Asshole

I am also in a situation right now where an ex- friend is trying to get back into my life after 3 years when I feel as though that person deserted me in a time of need. I’m struggling with letting that person back in or not.

john65pennington's avatar

I was working in a federal government position and had been for three years. They were about to hire another employee and asked my opinion of this person. I advised against hiring this person, because of his nervous condition. They hired him anyway. Shortly after, this person began to date a girl in the same building and he is married….big time.

I talked to this woman one day. I never gave away this persons big secret, but he somehow felt panicky and advised our supervisor. My side of the story was never heard, instead I had an accidental fall and they terminated me. I won the lawsuit money and all.

Anyway, at first I never forgave this supervisor for believing the other person and not even hearing my side.

As the years have gone by, I have forgiven this person for the wrongful termination of myself. I have come out the winner in this situation. I won the lawsuit and the other person was terminated and had to pay many back taxes to the IRS.

CaptainHarley's avatar


Excellent answer. Awesome! : )

janedelila's avatar

Yes, in the last 6 months. A mistake made in a drunken state, resolution made the very next day. In my immature days it would have been the end. We talked through and set new boundaries, and have never been happier. So yes, correct decision.

Berserker's avatar

No. Right choice? Probably not. But I still got time. Lol. I don’t think this person wants anything to do with me anymore than I do with them though. There’s always two sides to a story, and I’m at fault just as much as they are. So maybe ’‘not forgiving them’’ is just a cop out that helps me justify my own shitty actions. Or some shit. I guess it seemed unforgivable because I was really hurt. But them too, at least I certainly assume.
Details; just a buncha stupid fuckin drama. :D

MollyMcGuire's avatar

I’m only going to answer with a yes. And, forgiveness is always the right choice. If you can’t forgive, you cannot move forward.

What about you, @nikipedia?

augustlan's avatar

Yes and no. Long story about my childhood and my mother, blah, blah, blah. I forgive her, but I also don’t have a relationship with her anymore. I wish her no ill will, but I can’t have her in my life. I suppose, to her, that doesn’t seem like forgiveness.

SpatzieLover's avatar


I have forgiven several abusers in my life. The act of forgiveness is for me, not them. Forgiveness does not condone their choices or their behavior. My forgiving of them has allowed me to gain compassion, empathy and perspective. It’s allowed me to move on in my life. I’ve remained open. I refuse to allow anyone else’s actions to close me off to living life.

Forgiving has been the right choice for me.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Holding onto anger often hurts you more than the target of your anger. For one’s own personal mental health and quality of life, it would be beneficial to forgive (not forget) and move on with your own life.

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