Social Question

dimitri685's avatar

How can I learn to talk to girls easier?

Asked by dimitri685 (74points) February 19th, 2012

I wrote the title this way because I have more than one issue with my life. One of them is that I feel very lonely because most girls in my class hates me or lie to me or are too flirty and most of my girl “friends” are three years younger than me (I’m Year 9 and they are Year 6) and I not that talkative as they are. They can talk away all they want but I am struggling to make topics to talk about. How can I not make this mistake?

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8 Answers

CWOTUS's avatar

First of all, pretend that they are just human beings, just like you are. That’s essential. You need to convince yourself that this is the case, whether it really is or not.

Second, don’t be quite so hard on yourself. It’s very doubtful, unless you have committed some particularly nasty crime, that girls in your class “hate” you. It’s most likely that they simply don’t know you at all. Maybe they don’t want to know you right now; it’s not the same as “hate”. As for the girls who lie to you, you wouldn’t want to associate with them anyway, would you?

Some guys think that in order to be liked by girls (and other humans) it helps them to be “interesting”, that is, “to attract attention”. For this reason they may become “the class clown” or do other things to attract the attention of the people they want to know. That works for some.

But if you’re more introverted than that, as I suspect that you are, then the path for you is to be “interested”. By that I mean “show an interest”. You can do this in many ways. For one thing, be aware of what is going on with the girls that you’re interested in and quietly offer assistance when you perceive that it’s needed. Listen when they speak, and offer occasional comments, laugh at their jokes.

One of the best pieces of advice that I can offer is to be friendly with the girl or girls who, like you, seem to feel alone and insecure. I’m sure those girls are in your class, too.

marinelife's avatar

First, relax. Girls are more talkative than boys. it is a natural part of life. That’s just the way our brains are wired.

Do you have trouble talking to guys too? If not, for talking purposes, think of the girls as just other guys. Talk to them about the same things you would talk to guys about: music you like, movies, interests you have.

Start out by being a good listener. Let the girl talk. Ask her questions and really listen to the answers. Then go from there and build on the conversation.

Practice, practice, practice. That is how you become good at anything. Which is true of talking to girls too.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Make yourself into the best “you” you can be. Then you’ll be confident of your abilities and most women love confident men. ( I didn’t say more because those who posted earlier already said a lot of really good stuff. )

bob_'s avatar

If all else fails: alcohol.

janbb's avatar

If you are a good listener, girls will come to you in droves. Make eye contact, remember what they say and ask appropriate questions about it.

majorrich's avatar

practice, practice, practice

sadconfusion's avatar

If it’s a girlfriend you’re after, forget about any romantic intent. :) Start the conversation like you would with a guy. As friends. You’ll be much more relaxed, and you’ll find the conversation flows easier. Then if you find you like her, just let it go from there and add a little flirting. :)
If you don’t have anything in common, then that’s another story. haha
Like @janbb says. :P GOOD LUCK!

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