General Question

johnny0313x's avatar

Would you? Or do you think its okay for your partner to go to a club alone?

Asked by johnny0313x (1855points) May 22nd, 2008 from iPhone

would you go out to a club without your bf or gf? Would you be mad if your partner went with out you? Do you think this is good or bad to do in a relationship.

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24 Answers

AstroChuck's avatar

No. Yes. Bad.

Allie's avatar

AstroChuck: Care to elaborate?

I think it’s ok to go to a club without your bf/gf and it’s ok for them to go without you. You just have to trust each other – that she/he won’t be flirting with/hitting on other people, etc.
From a female perspective, sometimes we just need a night out with our girlfriends. Personally, I’m not going to find a replacement, I just want to have fun with my friends.

autumnofage's avatar

I agree with Allie. To me going to a club isn’t much different from parties, bars what-have you. Perhaps they may dance with someone but as long as there’s trust and communication it’s okay. If you don’t have that with your bf/gf then you need to work on it and if you’ve been with that person a long time and still aren’t sure about trust then maybe you should re-evaluate the relationship.

and I’m not using ‘you’ to actually mean you johnny

Kay's avatar

If someone wants to cheat, then they are probably going to do it anyway, regardless of going to a club or not. (I assumed this was what the question was getting at…)

kevbo's avatar

Someone’s been listening to the Tom Leykis Show.

martinez00anita's avatar

If my S.O. Wanted to go to club,I would hope he would want to go with me. If your bf/gf was dancing with someone else and you were watching, wouldn’t that bother you? Its not about having issues with trust, its just something that is iffy some. I would be a little bummed if my bf did that. Also, about 70% of the people who club go to hook up…

TheHaight's avatar

did you ask this question twice, or am I just seeing things?

And to answer your question; its all about trust. I agree with Allie and the whole “girls night out” thing. Just going to hang out with friends. Although a lot of people I know that frequent clubs are going just to meet people.

judochop's avatar

if you are not secure enough to let your partner head to a club without you then you have no business being in a relationship.

judochop's avatar

and may I add that if you are headed to a club to get laid then you got issues.

autumnofage's avatar

@martinez..It does come down to who you are and jealousy as well. Seems to be you’re in that category (I’m not meaning that in a rude way). In all honestly, I’m secure with myself, my bf and our relationship. Him dancing with someone else does not bother me. So as I said, it depends on who you are as well.

jlm11f's avatar

yes/no/it is good in a relationship if both have enough trust in each other’s loyalty that they aren’t insecure about such things. basically what the others said.

jrpowell's avatar

Would you go out to a club without your bf or gf? Yes, and I do.

Would you be mad if your partner went with out you? No, and she does.

Do you think this is good or bad to do in a relationship? Depends on the situation. I have went out on “ladies night out” with my sister and usually the girls dance together. I would be concerned if she went to the clubs alone. But if she goes with someone I don’t care. And if I go out I am going to get drunk with my friends.

autumnofage's avatar

I know I’m responding a lot but I thought of something and I should have said it from the start. It’s not so much an issue actually of having trust, it’s about knowing that your SO respects you as a person and the relationship.

martinez00anita's avatar

It just depends on the people. I’ve had girls night out… Not too innocent if you ask me. I trust my boyfriend, but honestly he has no business there. He has 2 left feet and hates to dance… Why else would he go? Expensive drinks? Nah.

martinez00anita's avatar

@ autumn: totally agree.

wildflower's avatar

I think a couple and their relationship would become quite isolated, one-sided and boring if you can only go out together. There has to be room for going out with ‘the girls’ or ‘the lads’ from time to time. It’s not always couple’s night.

Also, what if it’s going out with workmates? Should you decline or drag your SO along every time? That wouldn’t be cool.

martinez00anita's avatar

I’m only talking about clubs/bars. Other than that he can go where he wants, when he wants, with whom he wants as long as he gets me something to eat on his way home… And he doesn’t drink and drive.

wildflower's avatar

Why does it bother you that he goes out without you if you trust him?

I don’t mind one little bit if my husband goes out without me – well, apart from him stinking of booze when he comes home and I haven’t been drinking. That kinda sucks.

martinez00anita's avatar

Wildflower: what time is it where you’re at?

Clubs/bars are a place to hook up. San Jose/SF clubsare all about hook ups. Understand, its only the clubs! Horny half naked drunk chick on my beautiful man? No, thanks

jlm11f's avatar

i think your beautiful man might need to learn some self control. and gee, i thought i could go to clubs to just hang out and relax with my friends. thanks for the warning.

wildflower's avatar

8am and if I was still living in Denmark where they have 24hr bar opening hours, I’d possibly be heading from the nightclub to the breakfast bar right around now.

If you can’t trust your bf around half-naked horny girls (do you fall in to this category if you go clubbing without him?), your relationship is probably not as solid as you’d like it to be. I’m usually more worried about my husband ending in hospital with alc. poisoning or injuring himself walking home than I am about him falling victim to sweaty temptresses at the club…..

DeezerQueue's avatar

I just asked my husband, and we had the same response. It depends upon the people, of course, but neither of us would have a problem with the other going out alone, if the motive is to have a good time, speaking to the reason they’re going out. If the motivation is to find another person, then of course we would have problems with it.

We have a stable, solid, committed relationship, though, coupled with a healthy realization that we ultimately don’t have control over all situations; we’d be complete idiots to think that it could never happen. There are risks to everything that we do, but to focus only on the risks is dangerous and unhealthy for a relationship. Ignoring the risks completely is equally dangerous, but we work not only on our relationship, but ourselves as well, realizing that life and self development are ongoing processes. That’s probably what has helped us the most and allows us to fully enjoy life and each other.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

Without trust your relationship is doomed.

You can trust your partner but don’t trust the other people around them that’s a different story.

fractalgee's avatar

if you cannot trust your partner enough to still do their own thing, then why be with him/her? Besides, jealousy is a wasted emotion as it just shows your own insecurity ;)

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