Social Question

jehnstewart's avatar

What can you say about this phrase?

Asked by jehnstewart (358points) February 27th, 2012

They say virginity
is the greatest gift a girl
can give to her husband.
But only ignorant believes that.
Because the greatest gift a girl
can give is
her love;
not her body.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

23 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Total, complete unconditional, trusting love is so great, I couldn’t give a crap about virginity.

TexasDude's avatar

Virginity is a dumb construct. I’d say the phrase is accurate, then.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
wundayatta's avatar

137 letters.
8 lines
inexplicable line breaks.
Pretty sexist.

Aethelflaed's avatar

Eh. On the one hand, I like that it says that virginity isn’t the greatest gift a girl can give her husband. On the other hand, it still seems kinda sexist – she’s a girl, he’s a husband (why not use “woman” and “man”, or “wife” and “husband”); she’s still supposed to be giving him something and there isn’t really a mention of him reciprocating; it doesn’t say virginity isn’t a gift you give someone (so maybe he only gives her his love, but she gives him both her love and her virginity, in an unequal relationship); and there’s still this denigration of the body, that you really shouldn’t indulge the body, that’s something those lesser people do. There’s no mention that instead of relationships being this gift one (female) person gives another (male) person, they’re rather something two people of any sex/gender build together.

Also, this line doesn’t read properly: “But only ignorant believes that.” Who is ignorant? Should it not be Ignorant, if it’s being used as a proper noun?

cookieman's avatar

And what does he give in return?

annewilliams5's avatar

My husband knows that I’d take a bullet for him. He is accepted and loved unconditionally. He has told me- that is the best gift I can give him- everyday. In April we will be married 25 years. I imagine I would have heard if there was a problem before now.
By the way…He would take a bullet for me too.

bkcunningham's avatar

Who is “they?” Congratulations, @annewilliams5, on a happy and sucessful marriage.

AshLeigh's avatar

I think it’s a big deal, and I am certainly not ignorant.
For me, to give someone my virginity, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t trust, and love them entirely. Love and trust are the gifts. Sex is the expression of that love, and that trust.

King_Pariah's avatar

I’d take love over virginity any day of the week. But it does raise the question what is the greatest gift a man can give his wife?

gailcalled's avatar

Firstly, it is not a phrase, but as written, three sentences. The second and third are really only one, badly punctuated.

@Aethelflaed covers the contextual issues in clear detail; in general it sounds awkward and jejeune.

ucme's avatar

The greatest gift a girl can give a man is clearly a blow job in a ferrari…...I mean, the gift of birth, children. Awww, i’m getting all emotional now.

Aethelflaed's avatar

Jejeune. Now there’s a good word.

cazzie's avatar

I am going to assume that the poster is translating that from another language, or perhaps speaks and writes English as a second language and that is why it is so awkward. Am I right? so, perhaps all you English teachers with rulers ready to whack over knuckles could be a bit less quick with the whacking

Losing one’s virginity is a one-off act. As personal as it is, it isn’t a ‘gift’ a woman gives. The social construct that dictates that a woman’s virginity is an extremely important gift for her save and then to give to some man not only lowers the true value of a woman, it negates the value of the gift altogether, because it doesn’t leave the woman free to do as she pleases with her virginity. It isn’t her gift, then, but some prize or trophy for the man who collects it. Not a gift.

I completely agree with @AshLeigh about how meaningful and important is a relationship is for fostering the intimacy of a sexual relationship. But losing one’s virginity does not make a woman any less ‘gifted’ and absolutely does not devalue her as some societies insist.

Bent's avatar

I agree. I’d much rather have sex with someone who knows what he’s doing.

feedmeallfacts's avatar

I totally agree with the lines. To those who do not agree, does this mean that you will not marry a person who is not virgin even though you love her? remember, nobody’s perfect. Every human being definitely has a sin ans sex is a scene that no one can avoid.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@feedmeallfacts Pretty much everyone on this thread didn’t disagree because they think it’s bad when a woman isn’t a virgin.

King_Pariah's avatar

@feedmeallfacts we want experienced women who know what they’re doing in bed :P lol

AshLeigh's avatar

@Aethelflaed, I don’t think it’s bad for a woman not to be a virgin. I stand by my previous post though.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@AshLeigh Yeah, and mostly what I noticed about your post was that, even though you think it’s a gift, you didn’t seem to think it was a gift that should only be given to one’s husband. Basically, no one on this thread said “this poem is wrong, because women should wait until marriage, they should give that gift only to their new husband”.

wundayatta's avatar

What virginity means is you have no experience. I don’t know about you, but when I get a heart bypass operation, I want the surgeon with 2000 surgeries under their belt, not the one doing it for the first time.

And for me, love is an even more serious matter than heart surgery.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@wundayatta I actually think that really stigmatizes virgins, says there’s something wrong with being a virgin. There isn’t, especially when you’re really young. Heart surgery done wrong could actually kill you. Having sex, unless you’re doing something really kinky and are unsafe (which, most virgins aren’t doing their first time around), really won’t kill you. Or, it could kill you, but you’re not going to be any safer from HIV with an experienced partner.

wundayatta's avatar

Well, the only time I slept with a virgin was when I was one, too. After that, I had no interest in virgins. I had a chance and I turned it down. Other guys love the idea of popping cherries, I guess. It’s not something I like.

If that is stigmatizing virgins, then so be it. I don’t have any problems with virgins as people. I just wouldn’t want to have sex with one. I’m sure they can find others to do it with them, and eventually, if things work out right, maybe we could be lovers, though that seems highly unlikely, given the age difference.

Do I stigmatize youth by saying I wouldn’t have anyone under the age of 40 as a lover? Because, really, I don’t have a problem with that.

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