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rebbel's avatar

What are some Unlikely Lines To Hear On A Science Programme?

Asked by rebbel (34247points) March 2nd, 2012

In the English comical panel show Mock The Week there is a section, called Scenes We’d Like To See.
The question in the title was one of the questions that appeared in that section.
Here is a clip of it.
One of their answers to the question Unlikely Lines To Hear On A Science Programme?: “Well, that test was conclusive – cats have one life”.
Can you come up with nice, funny one?!

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20 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Who needs clinical trials?

TexasDude's avatar

Studies show fossils conclusively created by Satan to test our faith.

Aethelflaed's avatar

“Look, let’s face it – if you want to earn the big bucks, you should really become a humanities major.”

ragingloli's avatar

who needs evidence? just have faith

Sunny2's avatar

New substance found that erases wrinkles in all living things: humans; squashes; hippopotami; bull dogs; etc. Every living thing can be smooth with only one application. The U.S. government is having tests done to be sure there are no side effects, but scientists are so sure of it being effective and harmless that faculty members, their families and pets at Harvard University, where it was developed, have been using it for months and they are all shiny and smooth. Some problems have occurred as a result. The reflected light from all this glowing smoothness is making it difficult for people to see each other.

KoleraHeliko's avatar

“Now that we have that one result, we’ll never need to test this ever again.”

gasman's avatar

“After the big bang came the big cigarette.” – Johnny Carson imitating astronomer Carl Sagan

6rant6's avatar

With today’s report linking celery with lung cancer it is now official: there’s nothing left you can eat.

6rant6's avatar

Of the seven theoretical particles expected during the experiment conducted last year at the CERN facility, all but twelve have been found.

6rant6's avatar

Researchers at the University of Maryland School of Medicine whose recent investigations on the health benefits of inserting tree branches into rectums are not just sitting on their laurels!

6rant6's avatar

EU Science & Technology Group claims universe is fucking huge.

ucme's avatar

“In next week’s show, we have clinical proof that my sweaty beard does in fact make girls moist.”

talljasperman's avatar

Research done: by viewers like you.
Paid for: by the scientists themselves.

cazzie's avatar

On one of the recent BBC shows about the Universe with Prof. Brian Cox, someone actually said ‘Planet fucker’. hahaha… I love Prof. Brian, especially the way he says ‘sponge’.

6rant6's avatar

Long sought quadraped found on the steppes of Asia: Higgs Bison.

mattbrowne's avatar

This isn’t right. This isn’t even wrong.—Wolfgang Pauli

6rant6's avatar

[Cal Berkley] Lab rats grow some balls.say enough is enough.

6rant6's avatar

Pythagorean theorem disproved. World math community red faced.

6rant6's avatar

US Weather Service correlates uptick in twisters to Starbucks openings.

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