Can you come up with winning pickup lines?

Just starting with “Hi” works with me.

Just smile and catch someone’s eye, and let her be the first to say something.

“Let me buy you a drink?”
“You wanna have lunch?”
“You can eat! I like that.”

“Do you think this handkerchief smells like chloroform?”

“Hello, I’m ___.” and a big smile.” If she’s not interested, you’ve wasted no time.

I won the lottery yesterday.

Do these pants make me look fat?

“Would you happen to have a grape?”

-”No…”

“How about a date?”

I have a sixteen inch chocolate penis that ejaculates money. You know what you must do.

“Hi, I’m @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard.” does it for me. ;)

Hello. My name is Bill. May I sit here?

Hi, how are you?

Simple wins the race my dear men!

Nothing turned me off faster than a “pick up line.”

My penis just died
Can I bury it in your buttocks?

“Hi, I’m (name).”

I know how to cook and I’m not afraid to do it! Do you dare me?

Would you mind stepping on this forklift?

Really, at my age it’s the only way I’ll ever pick you up.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Just remember to be selective about to whom you direct that one.

Oh goodness…

NSFW A guy with a chocolate peepee better be real nice to whomever fellatiates him. ;-)

Hi! I’d like to introduce myself, my name is Cruiser Pitt…what’s your name?? Yes we have the same last name and most people freak out when I tell them Brad’s actually my cousin…...WAY!!

If you want to come back to my place…Brad comes over every Sunday morning to do laps in my pool and I could introduce you! WAY!

Mmmm, if you were a car door, I’d slam you all night long!

Sweetie, why don’t you sit on my lap and let’s see what pops up ?

“You seem interesting, I’d like to get to know you…”

“Do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blowjob?”

“No? Well, let’s do lunch!”

Yes yes, I can, and I do! All the time! Let’s see…my best one was after a college a cappella concert that I sang in/organized. We invited some guest groups to sing, come to the after-party, and spend the night. There was one a Dartmouth Aire recently on TV during The Sing Off who I had my eye on, so I sauntered up and said, “Hey, you know how we offered you accommodation for the night?” “Yeah.” “Well how would you like to be accommodated in my bed with me?”
Bow chickka bow wow!

Must share one more favorite, from a couple weeks ago. I was in a bar sort of on a different date when I spotted a cutie at the bar, by himself, reading a book. Obviously single, if this was how he was spending the night before Valentine’s Day. I wrote this note on the back of my business card:

“I don’t usually do this, but I think you’re super cute and I like that you go to bars on weeknights to read, like me. If you ever need a reading/drinking buddy (or if this is just a scheme to meet girls), call me!”

He texted me within a half hour! Unfortunately he was leaving town the next day, but we still met up for a bit before his train and sketchily made out/blue balled each other in semi-public!

I have chocolate.

@flutherother What about the hotties with dietary issues that restrict chocolate? “I have rice sprinkled with nutritional yeast, baby!”

Well I’m certainly aroused now.

Yeast is such an uncomfortable word.

@KateTheGreat Good call. Should have considered that one and said Grapefruit Seed Extract instead! Except that goes in my tea, not on my rice.

Sometimes I’ll take a blow dryer to the bar and start blow drying the region below the belt. When a woman asks me what I’m doing, I tell them I’m heating up their dinner.

^ I like that one, too :-p

@Blackberry pics or it never happened.

“Let’s not turn this rape into murder.”

@ragingloli It seems to me that by the time that line became relevant, the picking up part would be over.