Can we acquire a deep sadness from an event that never goes away?

Can this shape all our subsequent beliefs and therefore actions? No matter our age at the time?. I ask because a chain of events occurred in my life that I feel left me alienated.

First my dad passed away, then my mother and oddly an ex girlfriend in the same week. I was alone with my dad when he died and at his funeral.

I did not have a funeral for my mother because of this.I was alone too with my mom when she died. I remember some lady’s hugging me when I left and I was so grateful. But I felt completely alienated, on another planet, I’m not sure I ever came back. Came back to believe that there are humans who care.

I don’t want to have this feeling of alienation any-more though. How can I restore it? As I feel my depression started around this time.