General Question

chelle21689's avatar

Why is it hot if a girl is into "guy" stuff but not vice versa?

Asked by chelle21689 (7769points) March 19th, 2012

I hear it all the time. If a girl is into cars, motorcycle, sports, guns or gaming it’s considered sexy but if a guy is into any girl stuff it’s considered gay and not hot? Why is it okay for girls to be tomboyish?

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29 Answers

tom_g's avatar

To me, being into cars, motorcycles, sports, guns, or gaming is as sexy as being into accounting, tax law, or bingo (in other words, not at all). But everyone has their thing, I guess.

In all seriousness, I am not in the loop on society’s rules of what is sexy. I’m sure they change all the time and don’t influence my life at all. Do you feel that there are implications to this “tomboyish” = sexy thing (if it exists)? And do you accept that those things are “tomboyish”? What does that term mean?

rebbel's avatar

Because it isn’t, per se.
Some people like girls that are in to ‘boys stuff’ and some others don’t.
And some people like boys that are in to ‘girls stuff’ and some others don’t.

lookingglassx3's avatar

I don’t suppose there’s a real answer, but I guess it’s because girls are considered the weaker sex. Therefore if she does ‘manly’ stuff, she’s proving herself as a strong individual, which I guess is attractive and respectable to a guy? However, girls generally look for someone strong in a guy (I repeat, generally) so if they’re doing stereotypically feminine stuff then they’re just showing themselves to be ‘weak’, which I guess isn’t considered attractive.

I really don’t know the real answer. Personally, I like obscure hobbies, and find them attractive. XD

Sunny2's avatar

Good question! Maybe it’s more accepted for women to be gay than it is for men?

CaptainHarley's avatar


Testosterone is the “sex hormone.” Women with a bit of extra testosterone are, by nature, sexier. Men are usually born with more than enough.

marinelife's avatar

Because, let’s face it, almost anything girls are into is “hot” from the male perspective. For women, if a man is into feminine things, he is evaluated as a poor prospect for reproduction on the dinosaur brain level.

chyna's avatar

Some girls don’t like boys like me
Aww but some girls do Sawyer Brown

ucme's avatar

I often wear a tight pair of hotpants & a nice pink vest top when playing tennis, ahem….“new balls please!”

gorillapaws's avatar

I enjoy cooking, and I can assure you that my girlfriend finds it sexy as hell.

Blackberry's avatar

Welcome to society: it’s sexist and ignorant.

rooeytoo's avatar

Because the world is sexist. It is the only “ist” that is still socially acceptable and politically correct.

Ela's avatar

Maybe guys like it when girls aren’t afraid to get a little dirty? ; )
I think a guy that cooks is super sexy. For me, it all depends on the man and what “girlie” thing he is doing. I don’t consider a guy to be gay when he does things that a female generally does. I find it sexy as hell. I think it’s great when sexist lines can be crossed by both genders in a relationship.
I think it’d be pretty awesome to spend the day working on the car and the evening cuddled up watching a “chick flick”. But that’s just me : )

cookieman's avatar

Related story:

As my daughter and I were leaving her pediatrician’s office today, we overheard a mom tell her son not to choose the princess stickers from the pile because…“You’re a boy for Christ’s sake”.

Ela's avatar

So sad. @cprevite. My youngest had a Dora party when he was 3, my middle son has Barbie, G.I Joe and Ken dolls and we have a ton of Littlest Pet Shop pets and toys. My ex didn’t like it much but he also didn’t say anything about it. I’ve tried not to set up boundaries for my 3 boys. It’s difficult when there are parents like that.

tom_g's avatar

@cprevite – That’s really depressing. I wish me and my boys were there, carrying their baby dolls in their slings.

cookieman's avatar

@EnchantingEla & @tom_g: I agree. It drives me bonkers. We’ve always told my daughter, “There are no ‘boy toys’ or ‘girl toys’, play with whatever you like”. Luckily she’s taken it to heart as she was perplexed why the little boy couldn’t have a princess sticker.

I realize I’m projecting, but whenever I hear a parent say something like that, all I hear is, “Don’t be gay. Don’t be gay.” It’s so irrational and fearful. Maybe even hateful.

King_Pariah's avatar

It is hot, if the said guy is someone like Sarina Valentina.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Because people are just weird. I used to fake being really into cars, just to catch the eyes of cute guys I like, and it worked, for the most part. What happened ultimately, was that I ended up dating two totally stereotypical redneck boys who lusted after me because I was skinny , funny, and I helped them rebuild their muscle cars.

I much prefer my husband who likes the fact that I’m into purses and shoes. =0) Plus he’s not afraid to show his “feminine” side and none of his friends would dare to call him gay. He’s a built, manly, beer drinkin’ dude who also likes to cook, decorate and play princess games with his daughters, LOL.

saint's avatar

Who knows. Who cares as long as it is true?

Nullo's avatar

I don’t know about ‘hot,’ but indications of similar interests are always welcome.

blueiiznh's avatar

I think it is the same either way.
It just means that a person is comfortable in doing things outside the stereotypical way.
I think others see it as a sign of independence and strength.

I also think there are a certain amount of people who believe the opposite and don’t like people to be outside of what box they put people in.

I prefer a person that is not afraid to worr about what stereotype or box they are supposed to fit in. That doesn’t always mean it’s “hot” to me.

Pandora's avatar

Because a girl can look adorable in a guys shirt but a guy in hot pants just won’t look right. LOL
However a girl with muscular legs like a guy wouldn’t look hot in them either, and if you throw in body hair, it would look less attractive. Some things are just seem ok for either sex and some things don’t.
As for professions, I don’t think they should be gender based at all.
But womens clothing is rarely made to look attractive on every type of women. Where as most clothing for men can be worn by most men.
Its not like we are blessed with the best to wear either. Bras, high heels, and a ton of other undergarments.

Berserker's avatar

I’m guessing a social image issue. Guys get the flack for not being all macho, like girls get the flack for not being all pretty. There’s this social expectation that I see, which doesn’t really match what truly is, yet so many strive for it. It’s like the new God or something.
If I use myself as an example though, I’m a woman who’s really into horror movies and video games. People on the Internet seems to think that’s cool, but in my life, many find it immature and weird.

ETpro's avatar

It depends on whom you ask, I suppose. For my part, effeminate quys who are into girlie stuff are very sexy.

LostInParadise's avatar

Though it is worse for guys doing feminine things, there are still social barriers against women doing what are perceived as guy things. It irks the hell out of me that women are often discouraged from taking an interest in math. I think this has been slowly changing. I love it when a woman talks math, but I don’t know if I think of it as being sexy so much as being able to act as equals.

downtide's avatar

I think it’s down to basic sexism and homophobia. Even in this day and age women are still considered inferior. People think it’s cool or brave that I’m transitioning from female to male but those going the other way face a lot of ridicule and discrimination.

rooeytoo's avatar

@LostInParadise – Absolutely. And the sooner society and scientists stop telling females they are not capable and do not like science and math, the sooner women will begin to enter those fields in great numbers as they are already in medicine, law, etc.

chelle21689's avatar

lol my bf said he’d get pedis and a facical with me if i wanted him to hahahahah “man” pedicures

Kardamom's avatar

It’s a sad state of affairs that in this day and age, even people who consider themselves to be very liberal and accomodating (as well as people who are not accomodating and have a definite sense of what they think is right and wrong and any deviation is considered sinful and almost criminal) still think that males who like feminine things must be gay, and being gay is still not considered desirable (it might be acceptable or tolerable, but not desirable).

At best, the most liberal empathetic, welcoming people still consider being gay to be a slightly pathetic state of being (meaning: something no one wants to be, if they can avoid it, even if there’s nothing wrong with it per se).

On the other hand, a female doing typically male oriented things makes them appear strong and successful (and super fun, especially if they’re into sports and support their mates in watching sports on TV), but no one generally thinks of them as being gay or being lesbians (unless they look like guys, which is a totally different thing). Females can like both typically male or female things and everybody’s happy. Males get looked down upon when they’re interested in typically female activities.

That tends to change when people, especially couples, get a little bit older (especially if the male hasn’t done anything to suggest that he might be gay). Then the women are happy to have a guy who loves to cook and go shopping with her and be willing, without complaint, to go to a figure skating show or the ballet or to a book club meeting. But she will still expect him to get rid of spiders and unclog the toilet and lift heavy stuff.

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