Social Question

chyna's avatar

If you were an animal lover, would you date or have a relationship with someone who wasn't?

Asked by chyna (47635points) March 20th, 2012

Would this be a deal breaker or could you get around this issue?

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31 Answers

Trillian's avatar

I love my animals medium rare, and those that don’t love animals are difficult to cook for, so, let’s not.

wundayatta's avatar

This seems like a pretty big barrier to get over. You probably have pets. They probably couldn’t stand pets. That sounds like trouble to me. Also, there’s a good chance the person wouldn’t treat animals in a way you approved of.

And then there are the political discussions. I suppose, in theory, you could respect each other if you had very different views of the role of animals in human lives, but I think it could get pretty hard pretty fast.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I say if he looks good in a suit, has a little bad boy in him, and knows how to make a woman’s emotions spin, you give him a whirl regardless.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’ve always liked animals. I gave up hunting for my s/o. She’s an animal lover. So I guess if you care you can work around it.

Ela's avatar

I love animals and have always had 2 dogs. I don’t have any at the moment and miss it terribly. I don’t know if it would be a deal breaker but it would take a lot of spinning for me to get around it. In the long run, it would probably cause problems because I will eventually have at least one dog in the future.

Blackberry's avatar

It’s kind of like not being a child person: do they hate animals, or do they just not have a thing for them? If they were indifferent, and just didn’t have pets due to logistical issues, it wouldn’t be a problem.

Bellatrix's avatar

I think it depends on how committed a non-animal lover they were? Do you mean they will not have any pets? Or they just aren’t really into them but will tolerate you having them?

If it was the former, no way. I love animals and can’t imagine not having as part of my family.

If it was the latter, perhaps. As long as they are okay with me being an animal lover and having pets, I can live with them not being involved. As long as they weren’t cruel to animals. I couldn’t be with a person who was cruel to animals.

marinelife's avatar

It’s funny. I never thought about it when I was dating, but when I stumbled into two marriages without knowing whether my SO was an animal lover, it did make a huge difference. My first husband wasn’t, but my second husband is, which really improves the quality of our married life.

If I had to be single again, my ad would say “must love dogs”.

jaytkay's avatar

I wouldn’t like someone who doesn’t like dogs and cats.

My personal goal is to keep a couple of elephants or more (I am not kidding) but I wouldn’t raise that on a first date.

cookieman's avatar

I’m a dog lover and have had three of them in my lifetime. My wife has little to no interest in dogs. Despite this, she bought me my first dog because she loves me. Years later, she didn’t object when I took in an abandoned dog. Later still, when my daughter wanted a puppy, she encouraged me to relent and get her one.

She still has little to do with our dog, but loves us enough to let it go.

Good enough for me.

chyna's avatar

@jaytkay After watching Water for Elephants, I want one too.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Deal breaker. Period.

jaytkay's avatar


You need to get two elephants or they get lonely.

Again not kidding

Get two! Or more!

Fly's avatar

I love cats and see myself having at least one in the future, but I think that it’s something I could ultimately give up for the right person.
I’m also quite allergic to cats, so it might actually be good for me to end up with a cat-hater.

However, I could never, ever be with someone who loves dogs and could not give up a dog for me. I absolutely hate dogs (and I’m told I would become very allergic to dogs, too, if I was ever around them for an extended period of time) and I absolutely could not get past this.

MilkyWay's avatar

Jeez, that’s a toughie. My first reaction would be “No frikkin way” but when you think about it, folks give up and oversee a lot of things for the people they take an interest in.

Coloma's avatar

Heh, been there, done that, with my ex husband. It was not a blend, in more ways than one. Animals being a part of it.
He was a very narcissistic guy and couldn’t stand me giving my attention and love to other things. He often complained that I loved my animals more than him, he was right. haha

He built a custom rabbit hutch for my daughters bunnies and showed it off to everyone and then, never let me forget his amazing altruism behind closed doors.
I gave up my beloved Macaw because he did not like the bird, shit…I should have kept the bird and divorced him about 5 years sooner than I did.
It’s been great the last handful of years, just me and the pets and no more 180 lb. monkey on my back. lol

Buttonstc's avatar

Would I date someone? Yes. How far the relationship would progress remains to be seen.

Once it became clear that there is no way I would ever give up my cat(s) simply to accommodate a human, then his attitude about that would be the determinative factor.

When ive adopted all of my various shelter cats, I regarded my commitment to them as being for life. They are part of my family, plain and simple. If he couldn’t handle that, that would be a deal breaker.

Kardamom's avatar

I wouldn’t consider it. It would be too painful for me, if the potential guy didn’t like or even hated animals or was afraid of them. My pets, and animals in general mean too much to me. There are plenty of “fish in the sea” so as not to have to date an animal hater.

Sunny2's avatar

I don’t think I could live with someone who insisted on having large dogs in the house. I don’t personally like them enough to put up with the care and cleaning necessary.

ucme's avatar

I don’t know, this never happened to me & I can’t come up with a definitive response, I just can’t.

rooeytoo's avatar

Deal Breaker! I was single for a lot of years and didn’t mind but I have never lived without a dog and wouldn’t ever want to. When I moved to Australia, I brought my dog with me. It cost a fortune but my husband was all for it. Had he not been, I never would have considered him husband material!

chyna's avatar

I asked this question because my brother was not an animal lover, didn’t really care about animals one way or another. He married a woman about 12 years ago that loved animals, specifically horses. They now have 3 horses, one dog, and 15 goats. I can’t have a conversation with him without him telling me about the horses or goats and what cute things they have done.
I guess people can change.

Ela's avatar

@chyna I think it would be easier for someone who is not an animal lover to adjusts to having animals rather than an animal lover adjusting to not having them (but that’s just my personal opinion). I really miss having a pet.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Depends on the situation and the person. I grew up with animals around all the time. You don’t think about them that much. If you haven’t had them around and then are exposed to them maybe you appreciate them more?

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t think I could live with someone who was a cat person. Fortunately, I do not seem to have been with cat women. They are either allergic or not friendly with cats.

I do like dogs, although it’s been a long time since I had one and I’ve gotten used to living without. The kids want a dog, but the process of getting a rescue dog seems quite onerous. Also, it means we have to make significant changes to our house to accommodate the dog. So things are moving slowly.

chyna's avatar

@EnchantingEla I agree with you, I think it would be easier to turn a non-animal person into an animal lover. I miss having a pet also. I’m not ready to get another one yet.

OpryLeigh's avatar

So far, I have never found myself attracted to anyone that wasn’t an animal lover and I can’t see that changing in the future. Animals (especially dogs) are a very important part of my life (work and personal) and I can’t imagine someone who doesn’t share my love of animals wanting to be with me as I would probably be very boring to them.

It would definitely be a deal breaker if they disliked dogs enough to try and stop me having one.

downtide's avatar

If “not an animal lover” meant they were abusive to animals or would not tolerate them in the house, then no, that would be a dealbreaker. I’d rather have a dog.

chyna's avatar

@downtide I didn’t mean an abuser, just someone that didn’t love animals.

JustPlainBarb's avatar

I do love animals, but I’d rather have a great relationship without pets .. then pass up the right person because we didn’t agree on something like that.

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