Social Question

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Do you have any experience with online dating?

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (32633points) March 21st, 2012

I am a member of a few online dating sites and have put ads on Craigslist as well. I had one serious relationship that resulted from an online source, and I’ve had many trysts arise, too.

What has your experience been? Do you shy away from meeting people from online sources? Do you welcome these experiences?

Is meeting online the wave of the future, or is it here now?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

zensky's avatar

Yes and it was positive for the most part.

Blackberry's avatar

I have no problems with it. I’ve met great people and not great people, just like real encounters.

nikipedia's avatar

I managed to find the awesomest boyfriend ever on OkCupid.

rooeytoo's avatar

I met my husband in a chat room almost 17 years ago. It was not a dating site as there are now, just a place to get together and talk. He blew in one day and spoke to a few people then left, but there was __something__ about the way he talked, or something I can’t put my finger on, but I was intrigued. We started chatting regularly and here I am with him in Australia 15 years later!

CaptainHarley's avatar

I met my wife online on a site called TagWorld, which no longer exists. We became friends, then best friends, she invited me out to meet her and asked me to marry her. The rest is history! : ))

Paradox25's avatar

Yes, and as a more introverted guy I thought it would be easier to meet women that way. Well I was wrong, at least for me personally. I still think that it is easier for a guy, even a quiet one, to meet women offline.

There is a big competition factor when it comes to guys trying to land dates online. Also many women have more choices online due to perpetual ‘alphamailing’ by many men.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Except perhaps one long distance friendship(mutual psychological support), the rest were a waste of time and people who were not seriously looking for a long-lasting relationship. They just wanted to mess around and move on.

ragingloli's avatar

Well I once convinced a paedo on chat roulette that I was a little girl. Even got him so far as to show me pictures of his penor. That was fun.
I also once cybered with a guy on chat roulette after I “pretended” to be a girl. Then at the end I proceeded to suddenly tell him that I was a guy and that he should now enjoy his AIDS. That was fun, too.

CaptainHarley's avatar

LMAO @ragingloli

You’re a sick individual! : D

Mariah's avatar

No, but my sister met her fiance through match.com.

Jude's avatar

Cute lesbians are hard to come by around here. I met my partner on a lesbian dating site. Luckily, we live 20 minutes from each other.

ro_in_motion's avatar

I live in a fairly isolated area so there have been no matches within driving distance but one. That one was horrid.

I met someone from quite far away but, for obvious reasons, it had more problems than solutions.

I have come across more than a few women who are mad at their husband/bf and get on OkC only until they make up with their SO.

madsmom1030's avatar

My husband and I met on an online dating site while he was deployed to Iraq. I lived in a small town and was a widow and didn’t want to date anyone that had known my husband. So posted a personal and found my current husband. It was a great way to get to know someone before actually meeting the person as we both had small children and didn’t want to bring temporary people into their lives. not only did I find my husband but he is also my soulmate and we are still falling in love with each other after 3 and a half years!

janbb's avatar

@madsmom1030 And he seems like a sweetie – you are very lucky!

noraasnave's avatar

My soul mate has already posted (@madsmom1030). I would like to share from my experience as well.

Online dating gave me a place to safely find female friends (even while in Iraq) to talk to, to share with, and to confide in (about the crazy people I had to work with daily).

I had assembled a network of women, honestly and legitimately to call, email, and write letters to. It made the time fun interesting and helped me find out a lot about myself, and what I wanted in a woman, without having to deal with the whole ‘dating scene’.

My soul mate ended up finding me, and messaging me. Now we are married and I don’t know what I would do without her. Which, incidentally, is the best way to do this thing: Wait for the right one, be surprised and marry one’s soul mate.

One word of caution for those doing online personals: My second ex wife, was getting no good guys when she marked “smoker” on her profile, so she marked non-smoker and quit the day of our first date. Online dating requires vigilance; almost a investigative stance to ensure who they are online is who they really are in real life.

janbb's avatar

@noraasnave Two questions:

What sites did you use?

How did you take your “investigavtive stance”? Close questioning of the person or chekcing them out on sites like FB, etc.? Looking for inconsistencies in their remarks?

noraasnave's avatar

@janbb First question: I used Yahoo personals. Fairly inexpensive, yet had good features.

Second Question:
It is more of a stance of listening and calling the other person into account for things they aren’t saying that don’t match up. I guess the tone of this questioning is important to note. I used a teasing tone that came naturally to the situation.

This stance did lead to awkward moments with some of the ladies I spoke to, because they were very insecure, which was good to find out.

More importantly this stance set the stage for honest and upfront relationships, where every important topic was right out in the open.

The other dynamic that affected this stance was conversations through chat and email are saved for reference. If I had a question about something someone said, I did a ‘word search’ through my old conversations, found the topic and got the details I needed.

On a positive note: This stance led to me being impressed with the person who I now consider to be my soul mate. I would call her to explain something that didn’t make sense, and she was undaunted, she took no offense and explained the misunderstanding to me. Then when it came time to meet her, she matched up with everything I knew about her.

Second Question part B: I did cyber stalk most of the women I talked to, to make sure they weren’t blowing smoke. I looked for any pictures of them, looked at their facebook/myspace page, looked for their face in the alumni of the college they attended online or at least their name.

Really one can never be too careful, if someone is willing to lie to get in a relationship with you, they will pretty much be willing to lie about anything else.

I have a fellow Marine here that was really excited to spend time with a woman he met on a personal site that was a doctor. She kept putting off coming to visit. So he did research online. The Med School she said she went to didn’t list her as alumni, the Hospital which she said she worked at didn’t list her on staff, the pictures she supplied him had her in scrubs, but the background of the picture looked like a veternary office. He called her bluff and she was shocked. Her biggest question was: “how did you know?” What a catch she would have been (sarcasm).

janbb's avatar

Thank you – that is very helpful.

Keep_on_running's avatar

I didn’t know people here have found love online, that’s awesome. Good on you guys!

Ela's avatar

I was on yahoo personals for 1 month a couple of years ago. I basically spent money I didn’t have to open a message from someone I didn’t know.
After my month expired I went on a free site. I spent a lot of time with someone very special but we never met. I found out he had active profiles on a few other single sites and that confuses me. I don’t understand why, if you meet someone very special, why actively search for someone else? I can’t get my mind around that. It’smade question the sincerity of online dating.

I’m honestly curious @Hawaii_Jake, why have profiles on more than one site? It makes love seem impersonal.
I think it’s all a matter of fate and therefore if it is intended that you meet someone online, you really only need to have one door open for it. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s like the lottery when they say the more you buy, the better your chances are of winning. I guess I just can’t get my mind around that either.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther