General Question

jrpowell's avatar

I just went over to my sisters house and stole a can of Pabst. Will this act send me to hell?

Asked by jrpowell (40547points) May 25th, 2008

I needed a beer and don’t feel like biking to the store. I took a beer from her fridge while she wasn’t looking. Did I totally piss off god? I’m sure Jesus is cool with my actions. He loved wine.

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53 Answers

DeezerQueue's avatar

I just spoke to God and he considers beer to be part of the Master Recycling Project, so you’re off the hook.

iwamoto's avatar

if not this, i’m sure there’s a huge list of other penalties…

shockvalue's avatar

hmm… had you stolen a good beer, probably not.

PBR? Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

jrpowell's avatar

PBR is awesome.

Awww's avatar

Yes, it was his temptation. You failed.

jrpowell's avatar

So will I go to hell when I die? I have kissed a person of a similar gender too. Am I totally kicked out of heaven now?

gailcalled's avatar

You get plus points for the concern you showed about your sis’s dog’s urine. That’s surely worth one beer of mediocre quality?

jrpowell's avatar

Yes it is.. And the puppy is OK. She got back a bit ago from the vet. He has to take some pills but he should be alright.

nocountry2's avatar

Why didn’t you just ask, it’s only Pabst for pete’s sake – did you know she would say no, but you did it anyway? Evil intent, regardless of the monetary worth, might not rocket you to damnation…but I bet it took your karma down a notch.

Awww's avatar


buster's avatar

as long as you make it up by drinking a sixer of tallboys with her later you will probably just go to purgatory.

Spargett's avatar

Yes. See you there.

nikipedia's avatar

Surely god will see drinking PBR as punishment enough.

jrpowell's avatar

Niki… That might be the nine words that ends our friendship. Kinda sad it had to go out like that.

NVOldGuy's avatar

Was it the last beer?

marinelife's avatar

I think sins against siblings are mostly forgiven. I am sure she gave as good as you took.

jrpowell's avatar

Not the last beer.. Does that make a difference in gods eyes? What if it was a keg?

jrpowell's avatar

If I didn’t know I was taking the last beer would I still go to hell.

marinelife's avatar

Oh yeah, the last beer is definitely in the mortal sin class.

jrpowell's avatar

God is complicated.

jrpowell's avatar

Time to have a conversation with Dante.

AstroChuck's avatar

For a Pabst? I don’t think so. Maybe if it was a micro brew.

marinelife's avatar

You will need more than one PBR if you are going to read Dante.

jrpowell's avatar

The PBR hate is interesting. And disturbing.

marinelife's avatar

I hope you don’t mean me, johnpowell. In my case, it was Dante hate.

whatthefluther's avatar

Why all the PBR bashing? I think it stands up well to Burgie and Old Milwaukee! Oh yeah, hell it is!

MisterBlueSky85's avatar

You were going to hell long before you stole a Pabst, John. He knows about the masturbation.

marinelife's avatar

Santa does too. He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake.

DeezerQueue's avatar

You’ve acknowledge this minor of sins. You’ve shown some degree of remorse. I suggest penance if you believe you are spiritually ready to move on.

AstroChuck's avatar

How about two Hail Marinas and five Our gailcalleds?

psyla's avatar

Stealing beer from siblings will land you in Limbo. Stealing beer from parents is free & not a sin. Conning the beer store to sell you beer when you’re underage will gain you holy brownie points, but only if you fake the clerk out by having a moustache. Drinking the beer is the real sin. God will think that you prefer to be retarded rather than intelligent as he made you, and will reincarnate you as such.

gooch's avatar

Just replace it and you will be in the clear

breedmitch's avatar

Drink wine and it’l be fine. Jesus didn’t turn water into PBR.

gailcalled's avatar

@Breed: not that anyone is pimping his new wine bar or anything? Maude.

breedmitch's avatar

Permits, permits, permits. New projected opening August!

richmarshall's avatar

According to Libations 3:12: When in Sisters house only PBR or the like may be confiscated…..

breedmitch's avatar

The road to hell is paved with good libations.

marinelife's avatar

@breedmitch . . .which makes the travel there smoother.

Allie's avatar

I took a 1/3rd bottle of JD from my grandpa.
If you’re going to hell, I’m right behind you. See you in the line at the cafeteria, where all they serve is hospital food or airplane food.

Knotmyday's avatar

Three weeks later… an act of contrition, obviously, is in order. I’d invite her over, open the fridge and say innocently “want a beer?” If she says yes, give her one, good to go. If she says no, that’s a refusal, man! Also good to go. Drink a beer at that time anyway, helps to shrieve the soul.
You can trust my advice on matters of the soul, as I’m an ordained minister.

iwamoto's avatar

Jonathan Powell does not feel emotions like you and me, his mind perceives only one feeling…greatness

COBx666's avatar

Im sure God will find it in his heart to forgive you. But only if you go back to your sisters and get one for him too

iwamoto's avatar

..your sister….him… ? must have been a rough night…

cwicseolfor's avatar

There is no hell. There is no such thing as hell. There ain’t no hell. There is only… France.


whatthefluther's avatar

@cwicseolfor….However, France does have a god. I believe they call him….“Jerry Lewis.”

OneMoreMinute's avatar

Hell! ?
Hardly no, but it could send you to the liquor store!!!

MilkyWay's avatar

Nah. It’s your sister.

WasCy's avatar

I have a follow-up, now that I’ve seen this Q&A…

If Santa and Jesus are both watching you masturbate… what does it tell you about them?

Is the Easter Bunny getting a piece of this as well? The Tooth Fairy, maybe?

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

So, @jrpowell, what DID you do? Did you replace the beer? Did you just let time go by and hope she didn’t notice?

Here2_4's avatar

You won’t go to hell for that, but drinking it… BLECH!

talljasperman's avatar

You could always purchase an indulgence from the church if you feel that bad about it.

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