Social Question

Keep_on_running's avatar

What are some signs that indicate you need to harden up?

Asked by Keep_on_running (6759points) April 10th, 2012

…as opposed to softening up.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

23 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

I’m already hard.

digitalimpression's avatar

I’ll do everyone a favor and skip the NSFW train.

Do you mean “toughen up” or “man up” or something similar?

If so, it takes a lifetime of lessons to learn when to do so and when not to.

SpatzieLover's avatar

When you start taking things that aren’t aimed at you, personally, you need to alter your mind set.
You want to practice objectivity @Keep_on_running.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

If a cougar rips off your face, you need to pick up your face, sew it back on, stop crying and harden the fuck up.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

also, if you can’t handle a bottle of Sriracha per day, you need to harden the fuck up.

tom_g's avatar

I’m having a difficult time understanding the question, so I apologize if I’m missing the point. I hear many people advise to “toughen up” to describe a kind of emotional weight-lifting that allows you to carry more. I bought into this for a large part of my life and found that at some point you will pick up something that just puts the total weight of what you’re carrying just over what you can currently carry. So, you are then faced with the task to “toughen up” even more.

Lately, I have learned that there is another approach (for me) – stop trying to carry shit. Let it go. I am “stronger” when I am not carrying so much shit.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Hear,hear @tom_g!

Sometimes people get tangle up in personalizing things to the point of owning them (or as you said @tom_g carrying them). It’s exhausting.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Michael_Huntington

Woot!! Hard core, Dude! : ))

Aethelwine's avatar

jiggly thighs?

GladysMensch's avatar

- Do you cry while watching commercials?
– Are you freezing when the temp is below 69 F and boiling when it’s above 74 F?
– Do you get upset when you ask for someone’s opinion on a mundane topic, and you don’t get the answer you want… ie: Do you like the blue shirt or the green shirt?
– Do you immediately suspect infidelity when your SO speaks to a member of the opposite sex?
– Is it a big deal when you lose?
– If you saw you, would you think “what a little bitch”?

If you answered “Yes” to any of the above then you need to HTFU.

ucme's avatar

Whenever a wasp comes within “striking distance” of me I wave my arms about the place like a human windmill & sometimes weep…..yeah that’s right, “I’m gittin bad!”

Bellatrix's avatar

Why do you need to ‘harden up’? What is wrong with being soft, caring, compassionate and expressing these parts of your personality?

The only reason I could see for hardening up is if you constantly take offence when people say things you don’t agree with or like. Sometimes, people will not be diplomatic and tactful and they won’t always agree with you. If such things upset you, you do need to learn to not see such disagreements as slights and to let them go.

Otherwise, be soft and emotional and good on you for it.

augustlan's avatar

I don’t think hardening up is really the best approach. As @SpatzieLover points out, it’s really about being more objective. If you have a lot of issues with the people you know/work with/go to school with, you may need to take a good look at yourself, and see if the problem may actually be you. If it is, hardening up isn’t going to improve your situation, but being honest with yourself and working on your own faults will, you know?

Berserker's avatar

If a cougar rips off your face, you need to pick up your face, sew it back on, stop crying and harden the fuck up.

The Bible should probably have that in it. Serious.

woodcutter's avatar

If the truth really gets your knickers in a twist you really need to harden the fuck up.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

@Symbeline The bible missed a lot of things. Especially the time where Jesus fought a dragon.

Berserker's avatar

@Michael_Huntington Yeah, I remember that. Not because The bible said so…but cuz I was there.

ragingloli's avatar

So was I. He lost.

Keep_on_running's avatar

Thanks for everyone’s input! For those who took it in jest and those who offered advice. It was quite an open-ended question…

DaphneT's avatar

When you are the one in charge and need to fire someone who is costing you money: you need to toughen up and let them go.

When your child tosses a temper tantrum, you need to toughen up and deal with them firmly.

When your lover starts drifting away you need to toughen up and release them.

When the checkout clerk makes a mistake you need to toughen up and politely request a correction.

When you make a mistake and need/want someone’s help to fix it, you need to toughen up and politely and persistently ask for help in fixing it.

When someone tells you to stop taking everything so personally, you need to toughen up and accept the fact that they don’t like you, because 99.9% of the time their comments are about personality and personal behaviors.

there’s more, but I’ve run out of time

Paradox25's avatar

@DaphneT Wow, you took it from me when you said “When someone tells you to stop taking everything so personally, you need to toughen up and accept the fact that they don’t like you, because 99.9% of the time their comments are about personality and personal behaviors.” I guess that after many years of never being on the receiving end of personal critiques, but rather dishing them out really does wonders for the ego. I know plenty of them types of people.

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