General Question

Mandeblind's avatar

Can a married teacher like his student?

Asked by Mandeblind (425points) April 14th, 2012 from iPhone

Last year in high school, I had a crush on a teacher. We talked often, and I used to see him all the time since it was a boarding school. He had 3 kids and he was 31. I know he used to tell others that I’m very intelligent. We had some contrasting philosophical ideas… I could feel that he did like me more than “just a student”. Is this possible?

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15 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

Yes. It is possible.

You should know that it happens a lot, and that responsible teachers do nothing about it. If a teacher is irresponsible enough to try to push it further, that tells you the teacher is not a person of good character. Do not be flattered. It is not a good thing.

gailcalled's avatar

Hmm. We discussed this two weeks ago when you asked;

You said that you were writing a novel. The same answers apply for a real situation. Be careful; you jeopardize not only yourself but him.

Coloma's avatar

Of course it’s possible, humans are humans, but as long as he doesn’t act on it, no problem.
Be flattered but do not even remotely entertain thoughts of anything more. Hopefully the guy values his teaching work and family enough to not act foolishly. There is no slope slipperier than a teacher/student romance. Bad idea, really bad.

lillycoyote's avatar

It is possible and he has no business at all acting on it if he does like you more than just as student, and you need to stay away from him if he does. It is a serious breach of trust and ethics for him to act this way toward you, if that is indeed what’s going on. If so, if this is going on, acting towards you in a way that is inappropriate because of your age and his position as your teacher, not to mention risking his marriage and his family is just plain wrong. Don’t be a party to that. Bad news; a bad road to go down all around.

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
prioritymail's avatar

Yes, agree with all the responses above. There was a teacher at my high school that hooked up with a student and I think he ended up doing time (not sure though). I think when you’re in high school it might seem like a flattering thing to get attention from someone (perhaps much) older, but trust me, when you are his age, you will see the situation as very creepy! You might have some things in common, but there will be so many more things that you don’t. Find someone closer to your age!

@Coloma lol!

Coloma's avatar

@prioritymail Same here. My daughters old HS coach and computer teacher was arrested a few months ago for several flings with students over the years. He is in deep doggy doo doo and he has a family as well. He is a ruined man with a ruined career and family, hope it was worth it.

cheebdragon's avatar

How do you know he liked you as more than just a student?

downtide's avatar

He can, but if he acts on it in any way he will lose his job and possibly end up in jail.

ro_in_motion's avatar

You’re in a tough age. Trust me when I say that it’s absolutely inappropriate for either of you to entertain fantasies about something ‘bigger’. It would be criminal on the part of the teacher (depending on your age) and certainly unprofessional.

As for yourself, be flattered by a teacher (or anyone) can be very powerful especially if the person doing so is in a position of power over you. I can not stress enough that I have never heard a ‘good’ story about HS student/teacher affairs. While you might think you’re mature enough for such a thing, you have so much future and future growth in front of you.

Please don’t get involved with him. It will end in pain – more pain than someone your age should have to confront.

On a separate note: do not get involved with married men. He has a wife and three kids. He is not about to leave them for you. He might use you but he certainly isn’t going to divorce his wife for you. And do you want to be involved with a man who has three kids closer to your age than you are to his?

jca's avatar

He could, but (I think I said this when you asked the first time two weeks ago) if he acted on it he would have a lot to lose: His job, his family, his career, his pension if he has one. A high price to pay for him.

Mandeblind's avatar

gail, often artists use their own experiences to create art. Have you ever thought about that?

Avangelo's avatar

Natural, uncontrollable feelings that can be easily held back. Just don’t put yourself in the position where something can happen. He does have a family though, and I’m sure he cares about them.

Charles's avatar

Yes it is possible and it is healthy too. It’s perfectly normal. If a married (or not married) man didn’t admit being excited about an attractive woman in his presence then he’s either gay, ill, or lying.

“Don’t Stand So Close to Me” The Police

cheebdragon's avatar

Maybe you are just projecting your feelings.

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