Social Question

chelle21689's avatar

How to not look so innocent?

Asked by chelle21689 (7288points) April 20th, 2012

A lot of the time when people describe me it is, “cute and innocent”. I’m tired of being innocent looking. I don’t know, it’s just annoying. I know it’s supposed to be a good thing but I want to know how to look sexy/hot more edgy. Even when I dress up for the clubs and put on a tight short dress…I somehow manage to still look innocent lol

I envy people that are trendy and fashionable, but truth is I don’t know how to put crap together and I stick with nice clothes that look good where you basically don’t have to accessorize.

What makes me look so innocent? How can I look less innocent?
I thought it was make-up so I put more make-up on but I still look innocent!

I’m not looking for compliments but tell me what is is that makes it innocent?? Even if I don’t smile I just look sad lol
^Those girls know how to wear weird stuff without looking weird!

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38 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

Just pretend you’re concentrating or thinking really hard about something where ever you are.

chelle21689's avatar

Blackberry, that doesn’t help at all.

Girls like that in the last photo know how to just exude confidence and attitude. Actually, the girl on the right is shy like me!

john65pennington's avatar

Sugar and spice and everything nice. Lets face it, you were born with a natural, innocent look and you should feel proud. Some women would kill to have your complexion and good looks.

You could always have a daggar tattooed on each side of your face. That would kill your innocent look, but it would also corrupt your pretty face.

Mother Nature meant for you to be this way, so accept it.

You do not even need make-up. Now, that’s a pretty face.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

You don’t look so innocent. I know you don’t want compliments but here goes one anyway: you are a beautiful person and I hope to God you don’t fall into the innocent/sexy dichotomy because a person can be more than either of those and how sexy you are shouldn’t come from how you look or what others say but from how aware you are of your body and pleasures of attraction and sex.

john65pennington's avatar

PS…..are you looking for a compliment?

chelle21689's avatar

No, not looking for compliments although they do feel good I’ll admit lol.

But seriously, WHAT IS IT about my face that makes it look so innocent? Is there anything to give off a more sexy vibe/edgy/attitude? I’m not wanting to look like a slut, but just not people see me and think of bunnies and rainbows all the time.

Judi's avatar

a tattoo (maybe of a marijuana leaf) would make you look less innocent, but I don’t recommend it.

FutureMemory's avatar

Combination of your big, soft eyes and genuine smile.

rebbel's avatar

It is all really in the eye of the beholder; to me you don’t look innocent at all.
Confident, and strong is more what I see.
Just a glimpse of someone’s face doesn’t count for a correct analysis, of course.
Maybe it are (more so) your actions and your talks that some judge you as being innocent?

chelle21689's avatar

Maybe I can try to be a bit of both…even though it’s not what I am. But try to be something I’m not is bad unless I do it to the point where I’m comfortable. The plus side, one guy mentioned that innocent girls are easier to approach..not like “hot” girls who seem stuck up and high maintenance.

Luiveton's avatar

It’s a good thing – no matter what you do people will still think of you as an innocent person, so here goes… (Albeit it’s not a pass to do anything bad as such..)

Anyways, you had a specific question so I’m going to answer it:
Usually ‘innocence’ is perceived through size; in your case I take it that you’re quite.. petite?
You have quite a round face, and big puppy eyes. (Which is a good thing, by the way.)

I can say a lot more but I think your unique characteristic fingerprint is the key feature on which you are judged on a daily basis, be it negatively or positively from your perspective.
So don’t depend on just your looks, think about your actions.

Actually, I really want to say this: Screw it all. Why do you care if you’re being judged ? What matters is that you know who you are and what you want to be. The only person who can describe you is you.

Ela's avatar

Personally, I don’t think it’s about how you dress or accessorize. It’s all in your eyes.
Inner qualities will often shine through a person’s eyes. Innocence starts within. It is a priceless quality to have. Cherish it and don’t try to change it into something it’s not. If you want to project yourself as hot or sexy, take your inner qualities and enhance them don’t try to suppress or omit them. You can develop any look you want by changing your inner dialogue.

chelle21689's avatar

I don’t know if petite means just skinny? I’m more average I think..but short. I’m 5’3 and weigh 118lbs. Round face? :( thats not good! Lol

thanks people and ela

wundayatta's avatar

Innocence can be sexy. Especially the way you dress—it seems to me you look sexy. I think you have what you want and need not worry about it any more. Just work it.

Luiveton's avatar

As they say, eyes are windows to the soul. Right?
And no, petite is nowhere near being skinny, it’s having a small body overall. :)

JLeslie's avatar

It’s because you’re young and you smile.

If you smile less, and put on some more make-up, not trampy, don’t walk around looking like a tart. Go for more sophisticated is my opinion if you want to look less innocent, clothing and make-up.

Edit: If I were you I would stick with innocent and cute and young.

Also, who is telling you this, men? Men are full of shit remember, especially at your age.

CWOTUS's avatar

The look that has been ascribed to you as “cute and innocent” I would characterize more as “open and honest” and hotter than blazes. So don’t worry so much about how others describe your looks. Really, do you want to be at the mercy of someone else’s discernment (and limited vocabulary) in terms of your self-image?

I’m voting with @Simone_De_Beauvoir again. Another red-letter day for us.

flutherother's avatar

People who look innocent can always lose it and start looking debauched, but those who look debauched can never regain their innocent look. Having said that you look great and you are young; hold onto it while you can.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@CWOTUS woot! I loved your response, as well. Beautifully worded.

Pandora's avatar

It usually means you’re lacking confidence. People feel they have to protect or defend you. Unless you happen to look cute as a button. You have no idea the power cuteness has on people. I long for the days when I was cute. I got away with murder. What ever I said was true whether it was or not. Cute never lies. Cute can’t be deceptive. Cute needs to be protected from vultures.
Of course when a vulture would come out then they saw I may look like a baby hawk, but I was a hawk none the less. Enjoy it. It doesn’t last long.
In the mean time. Some well tailored clothes, and a fun and sassy haircut with just some eye make up to enhance your eyes, and a confident walk and straight shooting look, can do the trick. But if you’re not up for the part, it will show, no matter what you throw on or pretend to be.

Sunny2's avatar

You’re a beautiful girl. Why do you want to advertise your sexuality? Better to let only very special people discover that about you. Girls who look very sexy don’t necessarily attract the kind of man you want to be found by. Don’t rush it. Be who you are and that includes being someone who looks innocent (even if she’s not.)

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Consider the opposite of looking innocent! Why not be patient and become more poised and confident as your body of experience grows. Looking innocent is not so much a handicap as you may imagine.

john65pennington's avatar

You will always be the way you are now. You were born this way, so why change the course that Mother Nature has given you?

Keep your innocent face and maybe you will meet a man with an innocent face and you two can have an innocent wedding and children with innocent faces.

Now how bad is that?

FluffyChicken's avatar

You dont look all that innocent to me.

the_overthinker's avatar

I don’t think you look innocent.. That’s not how I would describe you if I saw you.

Maybe it’s the vibe that you give off? But from a picture alone, I would not say you look innocent. Nice outfit by the way!

Plucky's avatar

By the pictures, I do not perceive you as innocent. You give off a positive vibe (by the pictures) – large soft eyes and beautiful smile.

Perhaps people say that to you because they think cute/innocent is sexy and they are complimenting you.
More than likely though… it may be your personality (personality can change the way a person looks by an incredible amount). I do not know you personally, so I don’t see what your friends may see in that regard.

abysmalbeauty's avatar

your hair, your smile and the message from your eyes make you look innocent/ cutesy. If you pretend you have a juicy secret that is right at the tip of your tongue but you arent going to tell that would probably change the look in your eyes and smile.

CWOTUS's avatar

I don’t know why, but I woke up thinking about this post. (Rest easy: I didn’t dream about you, but I woke up thinking of this post. Huge difference.)

It’s very fashionable for many girls and young women to make up their faces and dress as some of the media images they see: actresses, models and singers who often have to appear “larger than life” to attract attention. That’s part of their chosen profession: they have to attract attention in order to sell product, whatever the product happens to be. Sex sells, so… a lot of these women tart themselves up to push whatever it is they’re pushing. If you’re not in any media business, then the only real reason for you to choose this look (in my mind, anyway) is because it seems to be “popular”. That is, you see it so often, right?

A lot of us men are pretty simple. The women appear this way to attract attention because it works. They get our attention. I’m as bad at times as most men; I’m interested in sex and tarty-looking women – as eye candy, anyway, and for a few minutes at a time. But aside from the titillation and initial impression of “candy”, I still prefer a healthy diet. I’m more into whole grains, smaller portions and healthier foods in any case. I may be interested in the dessert tray; it sure is appealing sometimes! But I really go for a good salad.

To continue the metaphor: A dessert confection could never make it as a salad! Salads are made of fresh vegetables and fruit, simply cut up and arranged in an attractive display (and with minimal dressing, but we don’t have to continue the metaphor that far!), or not even “arranged” at all, but simply tossed together more or less haphazardly… but it looks so good that way! Salads are what desserts wish they could be.

Okay, the metaphor is getting pretty thin. You’re not a salad; how silly is that?

There are parallels, though. You don’t appear to be overly made up. You didn’t spend hours on your hair, I think. “Fresh”, “healthy” and “wholesome” are adjectives that could easily apply to your look. “Beautiful” certainly applies.

“Tarty” might grab a boy’s or a man’s interest for a quick look, but “beautiful” can hold it for good. It’s your choice, but when you go “tarty” it can be hard to go back. Whoever is damning you with the faint praise of “cute” and “innocent” either doesn’t know you or is too lazy or unimaginative to come up with better adjectives. (For me it’s the former: I don’t know you other than through this forum.)

But there’s more: What if you lost your good looks? You can’t go through much of your life relying on “cute” or “pretty”. And someday you won’t be innocent – and/or may not “look” innocent, either – what then? My advice is to take reasonable, minimal care of how you look – whether you’re “interesting” or not is hardly relevant to much of your life – but be “interested”. That is, be interested in other people and their problems and accomplishments, be curious about the world and be interested in working in it. That’s where you’ll find your satisfaction. And beauty.

iphigeneia's avatar

I can so relate! For a time I was basically “the cute one”, being told “I just want to put you in my cup of coffee!” Which isn’t awful, but it gets kind of old. I don’t get it so much now, not sure exactly why. I think it has to do either with:

1. Becoming more outspoken and willing to take on leadership roles.
2. Developing my personal style. It seems dressing a little differently suggests self-confidence. I can’t help you here: you need to have the passion and do the exploration.
3. Doing some sexy dancing.

Okay, in photos I think I still look really young (and therefore innocent) most of the time; it’s just one of the common consequences of Asian genetics. Try putting your hair up or curling it. A retro voluminous hairstyle can make a huge difference. So can lipstick. Have fun!

chelle21689's avatar

wow CWOTUS, what an interesting analogy! LOL!!! I’ll remember this. Thanks everyone for the nice compliments and advice. I just go through days where I worry about one thing and then the next day it’s gone and I worry about something new!

JLeslie's avatar

@CWOTUS Do you think the boys mean look innocent for the short tight skirt? Meaning her face looks so fresh and young, as opposed to other girls in that type of clothing? Don’tget me wrong, I wore my share of short tight skirts in my day, my rule was only skimp in one place. Short skirt, then had to have a sleeve of some sort, and no clevage showing. Lower cut, or strappy on top? Then I had a longer skirt or pants.

lonelydragon's avatar

I hope you don’t mind my saying this, but you don’t look all that innocent to me. You give off a confident, friendly vibe with a nice smile. I know you’re not fishing for compliments, but you are a beautiful girl and don’t need to change.

CWOTUS's avatar

@JLeslie I don’t know what the boys mean (or whoever is doing the “cute” and “innocent” feedback), but I will say this: @chelle21689 can pull off that micro-mini skirt – with that smile and without heavy makeup (I’m assuming; I can never tell with really good makeup, which is how it’s supposed to be) – and not look tarty or slutty. I thought that was pretty cool, actually. Had she not been smiling into the camera, or had she been made up differently, then it’s a whole different vibe.

JLeslie's avatar

@CWOTUS I agree, she does not look tarty. In my answer I warned her against going that direction too. I was afraid she might put cute and innocent together with young, and more tarty with looking less innocent and older. That is why I suggested if she wants to look less innocent, or less young, to go more sophisticated. But, as I stated above, I think looking innocent, cute and youthful is a good thing, I would not be so fast to want to change. But, I understand at her age she wants to possibly appear more grown up, or just want to be able to pull off different looks. Nothing wrong with that.

When I think of a guy saying a girl looks innocent, I think they have devious thoughts in their heads.

CWOTUS's avatar

Guys always have devious thought in their heads, unless they’re already acting on them.

jazmina88's avatar

@JLeslie Due to blurry vision, I thought you said she doesn“t
look farty.

Girlfriend, you do not look so innocent…...;.

JLeslie's avatar

@jazmina88 If 88 indicates your year of birth, that might be why you were not thinking tart. Tart is even a little before my time, but I like it so I use it.

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