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Ela's avatar

After your divorce, did you take back your maiden name?

Asked by Ela (6503points) April 22nd, 2012

If you adopted your husband’s name at the time of your marriage did you change it back to your maiden after your divorced? Why or why not?

Divorced mothers… If so, what impact did this have your children?

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25 Answers

Coloma's avatar

No. I thought about it, but really, not that big of a deal. A lot of work involved, changing everything, credit cards, DL, S.S., just everything. I like my exes last name, I just no longer liked HIM! lol

SuperMouse's avatar

I ran screaming from my first married name as quick as I did from my first husband! I went back to my maiden name the second the judge made the divorce official. Now that I am remarried I have taken my new husband’s name.

It really doesn’t seem to faze my kids at all. None of them has ever said a word about us having different last names. I think it is more of an issue for me that they still have my jerky ex’s last name, if I could change it I would do so in a minute.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m not divorced, but when my SIL divorced she really wanted to take back her maiden name and my opinion at the time was for her to keep her married name, becaise it would be easier since her kids had the married name. I regret I told her that. Her lawyer advised her the same, and so did other people, but she really wanted her name back, she never felt good about changing her name in the first place when she got married. I think do whatever you want.

wilma's avatar

I didn’t change back. In some ways I wish I would have gone back to my own name, but I thought it would make things harder for my children.

chyna's avatar

I took back my maiden name because his was a funky last name. One of those names that, over a loud speaker could be construed as a bad word. :-)
I didn’t have kids, so that wasn’t an issue with me.

tedibear's avatar

I went back to my maiden name. It was a pain to change things, but I wanted my name back. When I re-married, I took his name.

Aster's avatar

No; it never dawned on me to do it. But if I had remained single for a long time I can imagine taking back my maiden name unless, as Coloma inferred, it would have been a huge hassle. I liked the name anyway. lol Oh; I just saw that Wilma mentioned it could have been hard on the kids. In that case I would not have done it.

chyna's avatar

@Aster It’s much easier to do at the time of the divorce. Since a person is paying for a lawyer then anyway,

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I never took his in the first place so that was easy, after the divorce. I think it’s ridiculous that majority of women continue to take the husband’s name.

janbb's avatar

Not quite there yet but I plan to after discussing it with my (adult) sons. I always regretted not keeping it although I did use it as my middle name and give it to my boys as a middle name.

Oh – and I will never change it again no matter what happens. It is my name.

filmfann's avatar

When my wife divorced her first husband, she kept his name in consideration for her daughter.

Pandora's avatar

I think it depends on how young they are. I’ve never been divorced but I would keep the married name if the kids were little. Simply to make it easier for them to accept the changes that divorce brings. If the kids are older than I would change it to my middle name. Of course it really depends on which name you like best in the end. I happen to love my maiden name. Not so crazy with my married name. But if it was reverse I would probably keep the married name.
In the end its just a name. It doesn’t define who you are. So do what your comfortable with.

Ela's avatar

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I didn’t feel good about changing mine in the first place. I had asked for a name change at the time of divorce, but the judge said it wasn’t in his power to issue one.
A couple years ago I talked with my kids about it. My youngest was all for it, my oldest not at all.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I kept my married name after divorce because I wanted to have the same last name as my son. I had sole physical and legal custody and didn’t want to deal with different last names. I also had my professional license in my married name and didn’t want to deal with changing it at that time.

When I got remarried, I took my husband’s last name and had my son’s name changed to my new last name (after talking to him about it and him agreeing to it). I don’t have any regrets with any of it.

wundayatta's avatar

My wife never took my name, so if we got divorced, she’d still have her original name. I think women and all people should keep the names they are born with unless they don’t like them.

Brian1946's avatar

I never relinquished my maiden name. ;-p

john65pennington's avatar

My daughter has been married and divorced 5 times. She kept the name of her 3rd husband for reasons unknown. Her children all have the last names of their biological father and she did this for reasons unknown, also.

Its okay with me as long as she can keep up with who’s who.

YARNLADY's avatar

I think it is different for each case. It makes sense to keep the same name her children have. My sister did that until they were out of school, and then took back her maiden name.

harple's avatar

I went back to my maiden name (by deed poll so that I could do it before the divorce came through). I’m really glad I did as it meant the world to my parents to have me back with their name. I hadn’t expected that, but for some reason it really meant a lot, and it certainly felt more comfortable to be back with that name than still attached to my ex. We didn’t have kids, but my thinking was that if I ever did have kids in the future and I still had that surname, would I want those kids having the name of someone from my past? No.

Now, though, if I were to marry again, I feel really uncomfortable about the thought of changing my surname. (It probably doesn’t help that, because of my father dying young and my mum remarrying, I have had quite a few surnames in my life!)

Also, both my brothers are divorced, and I don’t think their kids have kept our family surname, and my sister and her children all have her married surname, so I would love it if my children continued the family name… It’s an unusual name, but more than that, my Dad has been such an amazing influence in all our lives that it would mean a great deal to me to somehow continue his name. (I may end up doing that by using his first name as a middle name if I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with children.)

Bellatrix's avatar

I took my husband’s name in my first marriage. After we divorced I had to officially change my name back to my maiden name despite having all the paperwork to show it was my original name. Cost me a few hundred dollars too.

My children did not mind one jot and a couple of them considered changing their name to my maiden name. I discouraged this because I felt it would hurt their father greatly and it could be something they would regret later.

I have not taken my second husband’s name because I don’t want to have to change all my documents again. I also use my maiden name professionally. He is fine with this. He doesn’t even care when people call him Mr (my surname).

augustlan's avatar

I didn’t change back to my maiden name, but I may have if I’d been single longer. When I remarried, I did think about not taking my second husband’s name (I definitely would have converted to my maiden name if I hadn’t taken his), but he’s a bit old fashioned and it would have upset him. I’m all in favor of phasing out the practice of changing names in the first place, though. It seems like an outdated idea now.

Brian1946's avatar

My wife said that she didn’t give up her maiden name during her first marriage.

I told her if she wanted to keep it after we got married that was AOK with me.
However, I think she hyphenated my surname to her’s on her credit card.
She uses my surname on her Facebook account for some semblance of privacy.

tedd's avatar

My mother kept my fathers name when they divorced.

Now she either uses my fathers maiden name, or a hyphenated name of my fathers and step fathers.

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