Social Question

ilvorangeiceblocks's avatar

What is it exactly that makes one person attracted to another?

Asked by ilvorangeiceblocks (865points) April 23rd, 2012

I’ve always wondered, what exactly makes someone start to feel attracted to someone else? I’ve always thought it’s something to do with meeting someone new and getting to know them but perhaps not. Opinions?

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18 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

I like big boobs.. If you have small boobs I will like you if you are well read or funny.

augustlan's avatar

Sometimes it’s looks, sometimes it’s a mind. Maybe it’s all just chemistry. Whatever it is, enjoy it!

Bellatrix's avatar

It might start with looks but being good looking isn’t essential. I have found people who are funny and intelligent but not so good looking attractive. I have found smart men very sexy and I love men who make me laugh. Confidence is very appealing too. Not arrogance, but that “I am very comfortable with who I am” thing.

JustPlainBarb's avatar

If any of us had the answer to this .. we’d be rich!

All we can do is guess based on our own experiences.

Everyone sees the world .. which includes our fellow inhabitants… through a different set of eyes/experiences. Sometimes you just click with someone… who knows why. Better not to overthink it or it loses the magic.

ucme's avatar

Genetically designed compatability & nice tits obviously.

kess's avatar

Why you are attracted depends solely on what you decides to see as good (beneficial to you) in the individual.

Since this very private to the individual, it is often denied and substitited with a more socially acceptable reason.

So it does have the impression that the reason for attraction is elusive because people strive after social acceptability over truthfulness to self.

miyavi's avatar

Personality, that’s what attracts me first on a person….and maybe good looks also

janbb's avatar

It’s a funny mix. I met someone new recently and just felt they had a nice face and looks. As we’ve talked, we’ve become good friends and have a lot of things in common. But what came first – the physical or the intellectual?emotional? It’s hard to say.

Seek's avatar

I think it’s completely an individual thing.

For example, I am never instantly attracted to someone. For the most part, I don’t even notice other people exist until we are formally introduced. After I meet someone and get to know them a little bit, I can decide whether they are physically attractive.

Sadly enough, it’s even the same way with my famous-people crushes. I don’t like an actor until ze’s played a role I respect. Would Olivia Wilde be as smokin’ hot if I hadn’t seen her first as Thirteen? I don’t know. I’d leave my husband for Viggo Mortensen, but hey, he’s Aragorn.

marinelife's avatar

No one really knows. Some of it is chemical, their smell, their pheromones. Some of it is our desire (at the dinosaur brain level) to heal our childhood wounds. This person won’t abandon us like our fathers did, for example. This person will love us as our mothers never did.

Bill1939's avatar

I suspect that men’s earliest memories of their mother plays a part in whom we are unconsciously drawn to. For me, eyes and mouth have been key elements in what I found attractive in a woman. While large breasts seem important objects of attraction, one should remember that from an infant’s perspective all breasts are large. I suspect that the size of breasts has never been of significance for me because my mother was not able to lactate until her second child was born.

wundayatta's avatar

For me it’s their ability to interest me. Do they know a lot? Can they talk about interesting things? That’s a great start. They also have to be physically attractive to me. That has to do with both what they look like, but more so what they do with it. How do they play and flirt and try to engage me? If they are smart and wise and beautiful and playful, I’m a goner! It’s a damn good thing most women here don’t post their pictures. Even better that no one can post videos. There are a lot of women here I think I could fall for if they looked and moved right. Fortunately, the kind of woman I tend to like is very unlikely to want to display herself, and the ones who tend to display themselves mostly don’t seem to have what I need in the areas of wisdom and playfulness.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I agree with @Seek_Kolinahr‘s statement that it is purely a personal matter.

A person’s appearance may capture my attention, but what generates a feeling of attraction is purely based upon something that they say or do.

slopolk's avatar

I hink as you get older you’ll find yourself more attracted to a person’s character, personality, and if they make you feel good when you are around them. Of course there are some underlining looks that first catch your eye, but for the most part, for myself speaking (and I’m sure I’m not the only women to say this), but when a guy is so attractive that it’s gone to his head, he then loses the attention of a mature female. I was married to a model/ bodybuilder and I can tell you his personality and his attitude made him so unattractive that it made me sick to my stomach to be around him. Anyways if you ever find someone who you are connected to mentally, physically, and spiritually then hang on to them, because that’s hard to find.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I don’t think anyone really knows. It couldn’t be pheromones because we become infatuated with certain celebrities that we never meet in person. It doesn’t seem to be the biggest and strongest, as in the animal kingdom, because as @slopolk said, and most women agree, muscle-men model types aren’t often the object of our infatuation. Maybe people do (subconsciously) prefer someone who resembles their mother/father.

Personally, I have found that my “type” is a pleasant-looking, not-very-tall, dark complected man with dark hair and eyes. That would be my dad. But unlike my dad, I am attracted to guys who have an inner vulnerability, covered up with an outer bravado. Also, my guy has to be intelligent. I loose respect for a guy who is not too bright.

AngryWhiteMale's avatar

For most people, physical aspects will play a strong role in the first impression(s). However, mature individuals usually will look at other attributes such as personality, values, intelligence, etc. Of course, chemistry plays a role no matter what.

For me, all of the people I dated or showed interest in (even the disastrous ones!) had one thing in common: they were intelligent, to varying degrees.

Paradox25's avatar

This is way too variable of a question to answer since it completly depends on the individual. Personally I’m into people that are at least somewhat compatible with me. I also prefer women who already like me since I’m not into the chase, games or boosting somebody else’s ego at my own expense. Women who don’t play the game are who I find the most attractive, not counting physical reasons.

tranquilsea's avatar

If any guy wanted to get me from blah to extremely interested then all he’d have to do is debate me on some topic in an informed but not cocky way all the while making me laugh. Do that and you’ve got me.

There are also many ways that could lose me.

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