Is jealousy a "broken refrigerator?"?
I recently read an essay about jealousy. Feel free to read the whole thing (it’s very good!) but for those who don’t want to, here’s a quick summary: The essay argues that jealousy in a relationship is a symptom of some other underlying problem—that if if feelings of insecurity and inadequacy can be eradicated, and replaced with security and confidence, jealousy will disappear too.
The refrigerator analogy supposes that jealousy is like a broken refrigerator, and to deal with it, you either have to make rules like “never buy perishable foods,” or you can just fix the refrigerator. The parallel to a relationship is that some people make rules like “don’t ever have friends of the opposite sex” (or whatever your boundary might be) instead of just fixing the underlying problem.
Do you agree with this? Or do you think jealousy is an inevitable reaction to certain situations, regardless of how secure and confident you are?
Do you think jealousy is rational or irrational? Does the distinction matter to you?
Have you had any notable experiences with jealousy? Did they teach you anything? How did you learn to manage it? Or did you?