General Question

HarryPotterFreak's avatar

How can I get my sister to like me better?

Asked by HarryPotterFreak (163points) April 29th, 2012

She can sometimes be nice, but most of the time she doesn’t even want me in the same room as her. She is in high school; maybe it’s just harder to be in high school?

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10 Answers

tranquilsea's avatar

We just had a question like this. Are you the same person or the sister?

I’ll stick with my answer from the other question:

How old are the two of you?

“Sibling relationships can be very complicated at the best of times. I have 4 sisters and a brother. My younger sister did nothing but glare at me for years. We have only recently become close (I’m 39 and she’s 37).

Chances are she has a lot going on in her own life. The best thing you can try to do is talk to her and find out what may be going on.”

HarryPotterFreak's avatar

@tranquilsea I am the same person; sorry but, I would never reveal my age on the internet.
thank you for your advice!

CWOTUS's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

Give it time… and space. That is, when she doesn’t want you in her room, in her presence, even (assuming you’re not in a public place, and that you have other options), then leave her alone.

In time you’ll probably get closer and friendlier. At your age, even small differences between you are magnified. As you both age and share more experiences, you’ll start to get closer. Just don’t press that…

HarryPotterFreak's avatar

@CWOTUS Thanks I’ll try it; she’s my big sister, and I know she loves me though. Thanks for you advice!

tranquilsea's avatar

If you are the same person…why have you asked the question twice?

HarryPotterFreak's avatar

@tranquilsea I changed accounts, and I wanted to be able to respond as myself, without confusiong people even more.

wundayatta's avatar

Maybe you would be willing to share the age difference between you and your sister. I’m going to assume it’s about a year or two, since that’s the toughest age difference. Your sister wants her own life and to hang out with her own friends without having you hanging around all the time. She is probably mean to you deliberately, because she can’t divorce you or something like that.

It’s probably lonely, especially if you’ve done a lot of stuff with her over the years and you’ve been good friends. But now she wants to do stuff she doesn’t want you to see.

There’s not much you can do to get her to like you better. She does like you. That’s not the problem. The problem is that she wants her own life, and that means she can’t have you around. So to you, it feels like she doesn’t like you.

All I can say is to be patient. Eventually you’ll grow older and she’ll feel like she can share her older sister stuff with you again. Maybe she has a boyfriend. Maybe she is doing other things she doesn’t want you to tell your parents about.

Your best bet is to make your own friends now. You have to give up your sister for a while. It’s not permanent. Just a few years. Make your own friends and be independent, and before you know it, she’ll be coming back to you.

JLeslie's avatar

I am going to assume your sister is older than you. It can be really really hard to be the younger sibling :(. The best thing you can do is make friends with people who are your age.

Relationships are tricky, not only siblings, but with friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents. Probably the more she knows you care about her attention, miss it, and desire it, the more she will take it for granted. Busy yourself with other things, and she might wonder where the heck you disappeared to, and seek you out a little. If she doesn’t it’s because she is finding her own independence from the family, and interested in things that are appropriate to her age.

Try not to let it upset you, this is very common among siblings. She doesn’t mean to hurt you I think, she is just pursuing her own interests.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

My sister and I finally learned how to get along better by moving 500 or more apart!

kimchi's avatar

Ya think you’re alone (LOL)? This is very usual (especially for me).... Even if she’s being really mean, be nice to her and talk in a calm voice. Since she is older than you, maybe she thinks that you’re just a person in her life. Maybe if you guys have a small talk with each other, then you will resolve some issues. Sit down with her in your living room, anywhere private and quiet. Make sure to appreciate her opinions that she has to say. If nothing is working out and you guys are still fighting and having problems, I suggest you talk to a trusted adult to help you! No tattle-tailing, though! Hope this helped, and hope you resolve some things with your sister… and remember… love your family (especially your sister!)!

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