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SuperMouse's avatar

Is it ever ok to resort to playing dirty in order to get the upper hand?

Asked by SuperMouse (30798points) May 3rd, 2012

I have indirectly encountered a couple of situations recently where someone could easily obtain the upper hand if they decided to play a little dirty.

The first example: A man who is leaving his baby mama and knows for a fact (and this is a fact most people familiar with the situation can attest to) the baby will be better off with the father having full custody. This is in a state that tends to heavily favor custody with the mother. The father knows a few things about the baby mama that could virtually ensure that he gets custody but would mess with this lady’s life in a very, very big way.

How about in a situation where someone is attempting to rip someone else off? The person being ripped off has a card up their sleeve that will turn things around on the person trying to rip them off but will ultimately cost the scammer much more financially then the scam would have ended up costing the scammee.

None of the individuals involved in either of these situations is a grifter, they are all just ordinary people trying to get by and looking out for number one. Is it ok to resort to playing dirty in either of these situations? Is it ever ok to play dirty?

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28 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

the baby is also a mama? How in the world does that work?

I played “dirty” one time in my life, when I was fighting my daughter’s bio mother so I could adopt.

Blackberry's avatar

The mother would most likely reveal the information against the father anyway, and the kids well-being is what matters.

The second situation is pretty much guaranteed to happen if one wants to become successful or get an upper hand. Completely ethical nice guys don’t tend to come out on top.

Blackberry's avatar

@Dutchess_III baby mama = the baby’s mother.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Blackberry,thanks for explaining! After I ready @Dutchess_III quip I scoured the question for the typo and couldn’t figure out where it was so I didn’t understand what she was talking about!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m fully aware of what it means @Blackberry but I’ve never known an educated, intelligent adult to use the term.

bkcunningham's avatar

I don’t know. I don’t want to come off as a goody two-shoes, but I don’t ever play dirty and have seen the consequences of what happens to people when they do play dirty. What goes around comes around. In the baby situation, I always go with the King Solomon approach. In the situation of someone who knows they are being scammed, I’d call the police in order to prevent someone else from getting taken.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Dutchess_III ouch! I think it is a pretty good term that describes the female individual who carried this man’s child but is not married to this man, so I opted to use it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Baby’s mamma would convey the same thing @SuperMouse. Sorry…I didn’t mean to pinch you. :(

SuperMouse's avatar

@bkcunningham the scamming situation isn’t one where the police could get involved. It is a matter of a contract and how it is interpreted. It doesn’t even really rise to the level of having lawyers get involved. It is a situation where one person might have something up their sleeve that could force the other to read the contract in their favor.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I guess it depends on the stakes involved. I mean, some people just LIKE to play dirty. Some, like me, hate it so much that even when you’re playing clean, but blowing their socks off just because you have the where-with-all to do it and they don’t, it feels like you’re playing dirty and it makes me uncomfortable.

marinelife's avatar

I could not look at myself in the mirror if I played dirty.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@marinelife But if the stakes were high enough…what if the life of one of your children was at stake?

King_Pariah's avatar

I play dirty all the time. Rule sets, guidelines, honor… none of that really matters to me, if it’s worth my time, it’s worth every effort.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh shit! I just remembered—SuperMouse is a moderator! O shit oh shit oh shit!!! :O

SuperMouse's avatar

@Dutchess_III you remembered a couple of quips too late!~ ;o)

Dutchess_III's avatar

shit shit shit! IM SRSLY SRY ur hiness!!

WestRiverrat's avatar

There is no such thing as fair fighting on a battle field. The object is to win quickly and inflict the maximum hurt on the enemy with as little damage to yourself as possible.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@WestRiverrat But some people play dirty over trivial, stupid things. Do you consider that fair?

wundayatta's avatar

THis is not a battle field. This is about a kid and a woman. The child may be better off with the father, but will not be better off without the mother in almost all situations. But why ruin her life or make it worse? I don’t know. Maybe it would be good to use the information, like if she is a drug addict. It might help her get clean.

But without further information, we can’t really know what is playing dirty and what isn’t. Even then, we probably won’t all agree.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Without knowing the situation @wundayatta you can’t make the determination as to whether it’s a battle or not. If you knew she was abusing the child, would that make it a battle?

wundayatta's avatar

@Dutchess_III Of course, that would make a huge difference. But if she’s abusing the child, then is it playing dirty to point that out to whoever is making the decision? I wouldn’t call that dirty. Like I said, the details matter.

Dutchess_III's avatar

That’s my point too @wundayatta. It depends on how high the stakes are.

wundayatta's avatar

Oh God! You can’t possibly mean we agree, can you? :-)

Dutchess_III's avatar

Wull YEAH!!!!

King_Pariah's avatar

I am tremendously amused that morals, ethics, all these… abstract constructs, imaginary laws if you will, are situational.

wundayatta's avatar

Note to self. When in need of a judge, don’t ask @King_Pariah. Finds thinking to be some kind of joke.

augustlan's avatar

If a life was in danger, I’d play dirty if I had to. Otherwise, I don’t think I could bring myself to do it.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

My favorite saying is “all’s fair in love and war.” When it comes to getting the guy and vanquishing all rivals, the sky is the limit.

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