General Question

delirium's avatar

Question for those of you who sleep (literally) with someone else.

Asked by delirium (13669points) May 28th, 2008

Do you find that your sleep pattern is significantly different when you’re sleeping alone as compared to when you have someone beside you? I have dramatic changes in mine. I sleep SO much better when I’m with my boyfriend. I think it might have to do with the fact that we are social animals and I feel subconsciously more safe if there is another person around.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

34 Answers

chaosrob's avatar

Yup. Literally can’t sleep without my wife snoring away nearby.

richmarshall's avatar

Yes, for sure. I have had the same person next to me at night for 15 years. When I travel without her, or her without me I sleep worse for sure.

marinelife's avatar

I think you are right, delirium. Forced by business travel to spend several stretches alone this year, my husband and I both were complaining that we could not sleep as well with the other one missing.

If I can’t sleep, sometimes when we spoon that helps me nod right off!

shilolo's avatar

I’m going to be the oddball and say that I sleep better alone, where I can spread out. As the Phish lyrics from the song Lengthwise go, “When you’re there, I sleep lengthwise. And when you’re gone, I sleep diagonal in my bed.”

Zaku's avatar

Makes a big difference, with pros and cons. Reportedly I have a big positive effect on women I literally sleep with, especially if I don’t snore and/or let them fall asleep first.

PupnTaco's avatar

Absolutely. I sleep like crap if she’s out of town.

tia29's avatar

I agree, my husband is being deployed again and I know that I’m in for late nights and early mornings.

marinelife's avatar

@tia29 I hope he is safe during his tour.

nikipedia's avatar

cuddling—>oxytocin et al.—>handwaving—> sleep.

I have not slept more than 5 hours per night since The Breakup. So, yes, I guess.

wildflower's avatar

I’m not much of a cuddler, but if my husband’s not in bed, I will wake up several times during the night when I notice the rest of the bed is empty.
Also, if I’m by myself, I always end up staying up way too late. The thought of going to bed just doesn’t seem to enter my mind until I realise it’s 2am and I remember I have to be up at 6.

spendy's avatar

We don’t sleep well together at all. Both of us sleep spread-eagle and do lots of shifting. Nine times out of ten, he sleeps in the spare room. Suits me fine. Conjugal visits keep intimacy afloat, and having a bed to myself (ie. good night’s rest) keeps me from morphing into warewoman by mid-day. Sometimes we have sleepovers, but it’s rare.

I read an article recently about how common separate beds/rooms are becoming.

hearkat's avatar

I toss and turn often, and tend to sprawl out, so I have always slept better alone. The next time I cohabitate, I’ll invest in a King-sized Sleep Number bed. My beau and I had one during a recent stay at a Radiason Hotel, and it was wonderful!

susanc's avatar

My husband began lobbying for k-size Sleep Number l7 years ago and it’s wonderful
for sleeping BUT with all that nice space you kind of lose each other. Six months ago
we moved into a tiny house. The big bed couldn’t come with us so we got a q-size
and it was much nicer.

scamp's avatar

I fall asleep easier when So is with me, but I stay asleep longer when he is not. He tosses and turns too much, so I get better sleep after he leaves for work in the morning.

delirium's avatar

scamp: I find that I have the same thing happen. Its so lovely when I get to fall asleep all snuggled up with him and he has an early meeting and I get to stretch out and sleep in after. (And best when he re-joins me to lounge in bed after the meeting)

Bri_L's avatar

we share the same bed but my right shoulder is on the right edge and her left shoulder is on the left edge. Our mattress is really screwed up. When we rotate it the right way we are both a half a foot away from the edge. as far as sleep, I only get quality sleep if she and the kids are gone. other wise when she gets up everyone does. her rules.

Cardinal's avatar

Makes no difference unless it’s pretty cold, then I like a warm body near by. Don’t take this wrong, but she often sleeps in guest room because I get up at 4:30 AM to go to work and it disturbs her sleep, and one or both of my labs will jump on the bed and they are really warm too. They each are over #115 but I sleep as well with or without them also.

gorillapaws's avatar

I sleep better by myself, mostly because I radiate heat like the crazy so my past girlfriends and I are just too hot to be comfortable most of the time. Although if I can manage to get to sleep, I’ve gotta say that there aren’t many things better in this world than waking up with the girl you love sleeping in your arms (at least until you try to get up to brush your teeth and have to worry about waking her up and dealing with the consequences of that :P ).

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

I travel frequently, and frankly, I think I get better sleep when I am in a hotel bed. I think this says more about our bed at home then it does my partner, but give me a pillow top king size mattress and I am zzzzzzing at the moon in seconds.

scamp's avatar

@delirium , yeah, we call the time just before falling alseep our ‘snuggleupagus’ time. a half hour after we fall asleep, I wake up and wish we had a bigger bed!

gorillapaws's avatar

@scamp I’m guessing you coined that particular word…

loki's avatar

no way.
Sleeping best alone

beccalynnx's avatar

i’ve only slept next to someone else a few times, but i’ve realized that all of those nights gave me good sleep. but that’s probably just because i was with my sweetheart boy, and so i was happy and calm. and it did make me feel much more secure. when i fall asleep by myself my mind is usually racing, and that’s what keeps me up.

skgskgskg22's avatar

Well when it was just every once in a while it was good sleep but now that I live with my boyfriend and we sleep together every night my sleep has gotten very bad. I wake up at least 3–4 times a night and I feel very unrested. But that’s a price i’m willing to pay to lay with my sweetheart.

MrBr00ks's avatar

I’m not sure on this one. I think I sleep worse when she is there, or at least have a harder time falling asleep, because I want to have sex, but I am afraid of pissing her off and interrupting her falling asleep.

delirium's avatar

Protip: It’s much better when you have sex before you try and fall asleep so that you can both collapse delighted and exhausted after.

MrBr00ks's avatar

“Protip?” You must have a better day job than mine.

delirium's avatar

I plead the fifth!

wilma's avatar

I sleep better alone. I don’t get to very often, but that’s the way it is.

CaptainHarley's avatar

I sleep sooo much better when I’m sleeping with my wife, but then again, she’s a world-class snuggle-bunny! : D

Sophief's avatar

I hate sleeping alone, and hope I never have to do it again. I sleep much better when my boyfriend is at the side of me. I even know when he has woken early and got up, as my senses know he isn’t there and it wakes me. I don’t like to be too far away from him at any time.

flutherother's avatar

I sleep much better on my own

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther