Social Question

Blackberry's avatar

When and how do you break the flatulence barrier in relationships?

Asked by Blackberry (31933points) May 14th, 2012

It always seems like a tricky situation. Do you wait until the other person does it first, or do you wait until it can’t be helped and just let it out with a sigh of dejection?

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42 Answers

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Fuck it, I let it rip. If she wants to dump me because my body does body things, that is her loss. If it’s really smelly, then that’s another situation.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

2 years into marriage, you let one go.

Channing's avatar

No. I made the mistake of telling my uncomfortable significant other of 5 years to go ahead when there was no where to hide and the pain was gaining. Since then I’m regularly graced with the fragrance of death and sulfur and it has never stopped or ever gone back to its early more discrete era. I don’t appreciate being fumigated in this way and in fact now that we are 8 years in I see my partner as more stupid each time the fragrance is so disrespectfully dispelled in my presence. In other words….damn rude, don’t do it or accept it.

ragingloli's avatar

Yes, you wait until you are in the 69 position.

wundayatta's avatar

I have no idea what any of you are talking about!

majorrich's avatar

I didn’t know women farted with a loud report until I was in college. My wife only farts in her sleep. I recorded it once. Once. Oh the humanity! I shan’t do that again!

filmfann's avatar

I really don’t have to worry about this. My wife is deaf, and has no sense of smell.
A few weeks back, I was driving, and she had her hand on my thigh. I had a sudden burst of gas, and she said “I think your cellphone is ringing.”

majorrich's avatar

@rebbel That was amazing! And he is so slender!

LuckyGuy's avatar

I still try to do it discretely. I figure it is common courtesy.

josie's avatar

See @LuckyGuy . I am the same way. My girlfriend only does it in her sleep. Best guess is I do too. I don’t say anything, she doesn’t either.

majorrich's avatar

We’ve been married 25 years, it’s rip fest now! But her’s smell worse.

abysmalbeauty's avatar

For whatever reason guys have never had trouble breaking this boundary around me. I have actually pleaded with my most recent SO (now ex) to either hold it, go to the bathroom, or go outside because the smell is so offensive I cant stand it. He got a little better. I do not break this boundary- ever- and that is a personal choice.

wildpotato's avatar

My SO and I both find farts hilarious, so it’s never been a serious issue in our relationship. If it’s smelly or audible, it’s automatically the dog’s. Come to think of it, blaming the dog was how we originally broke the flatulence barrier. GQ!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Yeah and the Queen of England has never taken a dump in her life. It’s nature. Screw it.

elbanditoroso's avatar

You need to talk to her about. In order to clear the air, so to speak.

Blackberry's avatar

@elbanditoroso I see what you did there….

Sunny2's avatar

@filmfann LOL Did she think your phone was on vibrate?

Sunny2's avatar

Seriously, how do you do this discretely? Particularly when you’re exploding into complete relaxation? There are moments when I wish I knew. There’s no warning; just suddenly there you are!

mazingerz88's avatar

Seriously…break the flatulence barrier? Everytime. Hey, it’s that powerful!

I think it’s high time someone comes up with a scientific way of measuring how bad smelling a flatulence is. Like, hey, mine was 90 Fartheneits in the Rictus scale!

ratboy's avatar

There are some useful aides that help one approach the problem gracefully.

Judi's avatar

With my first husband we got drunk and lit them on fire. We would have contests.
With my current husband I try to be discrete but as you age they just seem to sneak out. I fess up when caught, but he just let’s them rip.

woodcutter's avatar

It should be an accident if possible. It was when my wife to be, finally did it. We were spooning, felt like a blow torch on my leg. It was a big relief for me because it finally was on.

Sunny2's avatar

@ratboy I think I’d win any contest with a butt plug. It would become a lethal weapon! Duck!

fluthernutter's avatar

I used to fart in other people’s presence all the time. Unless I was feeling some kind of bowel discomfort, my farts didn’t really smell. And they were quiet too.

It became a joke in our marriage where my husband didn’t believe that I ever farted. He insisted that I announce it whenever it happened. Then he would chase me around the house, laughing and trying to smell them.

Yes. He’s ridiculous.

Well. That was before I got pregnant.

Now I’m constantly gassy. And they’re stinky too. Ugh.

Now my husband laughs at me for a totally different reason.

lillycoyote's avatar

@majorrich I’m surprised you’re still married, recording your wife farting in her sleep! What were you thinking?. Though I actually think; I vaguely remember, that there was a Malcom in the Middle episode about that very thing. I’ll have to look into it though. I could be wrong. I’ll get back to you.

Edit: O.K. Not quite the same thing. But here’s a synopsis of the episode. I got the wife farting in bed part right at least.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Six years into our relationship and I still haven’t farted in front of my boyfriend (I can’t remember the last time I farted in front of anyone though). He’s farted in front of me.

ucme's avatar

Immediately prior to that first blow job, a nice gesture to flush out the pipes just before.

majorrich's avatar

@lillycoyote I paid dearly for the recording incident. She insisted she didn’t snore, I caught the fart instead. My peals of laughter woke her, and the smiting began.

wundayatta's avatar

Do you think we, as a society, will ever get past this embarrassment about farting? I mean, will we ever grow up?

elbanditoroso's avatar

Keep in mind that flatulence is condoned, even encouraged in the Bible:

“Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh.” (Isaiah 16:11)

OpryLeigh's avatar

@wundayatta I don’t think I will. I never had those nightmares where you suddenly find yourself naked in front of loads of people like some do, being naked in front of people doesn’t bother me at all. Farting in front of others, however, is the stuff of nightmares for me!!!!

SpatzieLover's avatar

IMO, The best relationships have no barriers to begin with.

fluthernutter's avatar

@SpatzieLover I think the easiest relationships have no barriers to begin with.
It shows how well you fit together.

But I think the best relationships are when you work through barriers together.
It shows how well you work together methinks.

A lot of relationships begin with no barriers.
But people change. Better to change together.

The couple that farts together stays together!

majorrich's avatar

I use my flatus like squid ink when she wants to snuggle and I am too hot and sweaty and don’ wanna. I crack one off and make my escape!

ragingloli's avatar

So there is a fluid discharge?

OpryLeigh's avatar

@SpatzieLover this issue of mine is no reflection of my relationship, that man has seen me in many an unflattering situation and I am very rarely embarrassed in front of him. However, I don’t fart in front of anyone ever. It’s almost an irrational phobia of mine. I am even embarrassed when I am alone and I fart!!! No lie. It’s just something I really hate doing. It has to be said though, I find it hilarious when other people fart in front of me which my boyfriend is quite comfortable to do from time to time.

majorrich's avatar

@ragingloli no, just a distraction so I can make my get away. Like a smoke screen as it were.

Blackberry's avatar

I was in a relationship where we broke the barrier completely. We would jokingly lift up our leg and do it. Then, I was in a relationship that was the same amount of time, but barely broke the barrier. That made me miss the previous one. It’s all about freedom, man.

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