Social Question

Blackberry's avatar

Have you ever unintentionally offended someone? What happened?

Asked by Blackberry (30929points) May 17th, 2012

Give me what I want and tell me the story.

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15 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

I did that “When is your baby due?” thing once. Yup, I really did it. The woman, of course, turned out not to be pregnant. I couldn’t have been more embarrassed. Since that incident, I won’t ask a women when her baby is due unless she’s looks like she’s about to give birth to a Volkswagon Beetle.

Coloma's avatar

Only extremely thin skinned people with low self esteem.
I have an ex friend, I once gave her a lipstick I had to try and complimented her on how good it looked. She always wore these extremely pale shades and she needed some color. She flipped out and accused me of criticizing her makeup. OMG!

Another time she was wallowing in her misery after a breakup and I tried to lift her spirits and give her a power talk, told her to take a vacation and see the fucking WORLD and quit making men her universe…yeah, well, I’m an adventurous realist type, THAT didn’t go well at all. lol

Berserker's avatar

This hotel I worked at a while back, we had a really busy night during a holiday. These people at a table wanted their cake boxed so they could bring it home, and one coworker was responsible for getting it done. Our boss told us not too long after that the people decided against the boxing and they left. But the girl who was gonna do it didn’t get the message I guess. She asked me which table it was, and I was rushing with my own work myself. I quickly told her to nevermind the boxing. Yeah I could have worded it better and explain that they didn’t want to bring their cake home after all. But I was so busy, I just said that and went on with my stuff. I didn’t have time for this, and I guess I sounded rude, but I really wasn’t trying to be. Basically I wanted to say it’s okay don’t worry about it, but that didn’t quite work out.
Basically, she thought I was telling her to fuck off.

I went to talk to her later, completely oblivious that I offended her. I was asking for help with something and she totally blew me off. I swear, I was SO confused at first. I just walked off going, okaayy…but I quickly realized what happened, since I did know that my tone of voice sounded ruse when I said nevermind, but that was because of stress and being in a hurry. We made up pretty quickly, but I swear she was pissed off at the time. We didn’t actually speak of this at all after though. But we got along good anyways, so that’s always cool.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I did….my coworker was trying at-home dyes and she has managed to wind up with a very pretty light orange and blond mix. Not what she intended. Last week I just blurted out “You look like a Lorax!”
She said, “I do not! It’s not orange!” (Yes, it is!)
I immediately said, “OMG! I’m so sorry! I…I…I don’t even know what the Lorax IS”
Our other co-worker was rolling, and she choked out, “It’s the blond one!”
Then I had to go look up The Lorax. His mustache is a perfect match for her hair color! But…I didn’t say another word. She doesn’t want to see orange! That’s OK with me!
She took it all in stride though, thankfully! We’s still friends!

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Oh man, every single day. I don’t want to tell any stories because they make me cringe just thinking about them

Sunny2's avatar

Yes. A woman I sat next to in a class, was obviously angry with me and spouted off. I thought she was being funny, but she was serous. When I realized that, I asked to have my seat changed immediately. I avoided her thereafter. Something about me really irritated her. I wasn’t doing anything unusual for me, so I decided it wasn’t worth pursuing. I didn’t much care for her either, frankly.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Some people are just haters @Sunny2. “Mean people suck.”

ucme's avatar

I remarked to an aunt that when she laughed her face looked like that of a bulldog licking piss of a thistle. What…...what did I say?

cazzie's avatar

I have a very special gift in this realm of human interaction. I saw a really funny picture book about ‘How to remain an only child’ and tried to tell a new friend about it, who I thought would find it funny, but she didn’t and was offended. I had overestimated her sense of humour about being a self-absorbed spoiled brat. It seemed it was OK for her to talk about herself with such references, but not ok for anyone else. I missed that social cue.

I can also be inadvertently critical about things and try to be well meaning, but a certain type of person just gets offended instead. I’ll see things that are illogical and try to explain that it would make more sense if it was done ‘like this’ instead, and the person gets all angry and defensive. I still don’t understand that one. You think it is more offensive to be corrected by a foreigner who doesn’t speak your language that well? I don’t know. I don’t do it to be critical for critical sake and I have learned to NOT correct things when it will make no difference in the end, but when I see someone trying to do a project or design something I have a hard time letting them see their mistakes for themselves and I feel compelled to point out things that are going to prove to be real problems.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@cazzie Are you as willing to accept criticism about yourself, and examine it objectively?

cazzie's avatar

@Dutchess_III About MYSELF, personality wise or things about my personal traits I don’t care to change? or about ‘things’ I’m doing or trying to accomplish? If someone points out a mistake I made that is going to get me closer to what I am trying to do, I will absolutely accept it and take it in. If someone tells me that the scar on my face is ugly and I should fix it, you will be ignored.

Like, I would never criticize a persons teeth or skin care or anything THAT personal. But if they were trying to create a procedure for the office or a form to fill out that will streamline efforts, I will make suggestions and point out things they may have missed or misspelled. That is the kind of criticism I mean.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, about anything involving yourself, personally, or things you’re trying to accomplish.

cazzie's avatar

I think I just answered that.

Dutchess_III's avatar edited from your original “About MYSELF, personality wise or things…that I’m trying to do or accomplish.”

Dutchess_III's avatar

@cazzie I have found that same thing, in the office place…you think of a new, more efficient way of doing something and you’d think people would say, “Good job!” But they don’t. They get defensive and basically say “But that’s the way we’ve always done it!” I don’t understand it. However, I’m thinking they view it as though we’re saying, “Hey dummy! Why didn’t you think of this yourself?!” Or something.
Yeah…I learned to just shut up, sit tight for at least a year, and make changes so minor a tiny bit over time they people don’t really realize things are changing. It makes me feel stupid though, to have to keep doing it “their old way,” when there is a much,much better way.

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