Social Question

Tbag's avatar

Women, what do you look for in a man? Men, what do you look for in a woman?

Asked by Tbag (3325points) May 20th, 2012

I sometimes wonder what women seek for in a man? I asked you men just so we can stay in the game haha.

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25 Answers

ucme's avatar

She simply has to own a firm pair of lovely breasts, anything else is just a bonus really.
Yes that’s right, i’m shallow, but very, very happy.

harple's avatar

He simply has to want a firm pair of lovely breasts and appreciate the other bonuses I have to offer. :-)

Yes that’s right, I’m bored, but very, very funny. ~

ucme's avatar

@harple Atta girl, I fink I lurve ya ;¬}

digitalimpression's avatar

You might have to re-word the question these days.. thusly: Women, what do you look for in a man? Men, what do you look for in a man? Women, what do you look for in a woman? Men, what do you look for in a woman? Miscellaneous, what do you look for?

But to take the question at face value…: I look for a personality that is complimentary to mine…. and a nice pair of legs.

janbb's avatar

Kindness is now at the top of my list, followed closely by openness and emotional availability, intelligence and humor (or humour if he is English.) And I do have have to be physically attracted to him.

ucme's avatar


marinelife's avatar

I look for smarts, sense of humour, a shared set of values, and that certain spark physically.

harple's avatar

Okay, serious answer now!

He needs to have a genuine kind heart, a capacity for deep thought, and a compassion for others, and yes, I have to find him sexy and vice versa.

ucme's avatar

Okay, tongue in cheek answer out the way, time for serious response.
Truth is, I don’t look, not anymore. I have my fun loving, ballsy, lovely wife.

FutureMemory's avatar

Kind, compassionate, sweet. I want someone that is genuinely kind, not just someone that knows how to be kind when they feel the situation calls for it. Big difference.

Humor is good. I can be pretty silly at times.

I’m generally very open, so I need my partner to be that way as well. People that hold back are a huge turn off. If I have to pry your thoughts and feelings out of you, forget it. I’m not in high school anymore, my game-playing days are over.

Intelligence is important, but less so than I previously thought. If all you do with your intelligence is find creative ways to express your discontent/misanthropy, I am not interested.

The last thing I want to mention is going to be somewhat hypocritical, but I want someone that doesn’t spend too much time on the internet. When I’m lying on my death bed, I’m not going to be thinking “damn, wish I had spent more time on Reddit”.

Oh, last thing – she has to like having her boobs touched, because I am a confirmed Breast Man. :)~

janbb's avatar

@FutureMemory If only you were twenty years older or vice versa!

FutureMemory's avatar

Jan…<hug> :)

MilkyWay's avatar

@FutureMemory @janbb Ew. Get a room you guys.
What I look for in a man? First and foremost, the ability to make me laugh; a good sense of humour. Intelligence, tall height, love of food and being outdoorsy.

tups's avatar

I’m not really sure about it. I’ve been surprised a few times and the recipe for a certain person doesn’t really last in the long run. In the end, we don’t get to decide who we fall in love with. But I guess there are some specific qualities that would be nice: Intelligence, openness, passion, some kind of appreciation for art (could be any art), a little bit f kindness wouldn’t be too bad either. And well, attraction too.

JLeslie's avatar

Top 10

Similar moral compass
Strong work ethic
Sense of humour
Responsible with money
Adventurous (not in a dare devil way, but in a like to explore and experience new things)
Likes to dance
Open mind/not judgemental of others

Other likes but not must haves:

Dark hair
Average build

Only138's avatar

I just look for a girl that is cool…..likes to have fun, likes good music…..and has a heart beat. :)

flutherother's avatar

It’s a bit consumerist and unromantic to have a shopping list of attributes. Like trying to find a chair in IKEA that will match your kitchen table. So I was told recently and I think she has a point.

JLeslie's avatar

@flutherother I disagree. You need a list of the five top must haves. Things you won’t give on, so you don’t get sucked into dating someone who would never be compatible, or always be a struggle to be with. People wind up dating someone, and overlooking “faults” and then after a while they have been dating for months and years and wind up at a point of get married or break up, and very often I see people in this situation get married, and then break up within a year to those people.

I’m talking about things like honesty, respect, supportive, and then the other two might be more about personality, like spontaneous, communicative, romantic, or practical like wants children, does not want to move far from home, wants to live in many different places, etc.

The big question my husband asked me when we were dating is if I was willing to move if his career required it. He had broken up with the girl before because she would not ever consider it. I cared that he would want to pay for our kids college education, that he was not very religious, that he was ok with abortion if a fetus of ours had a serious genetic problem, that he had no debt, I could go on and on. He is everything I ever wanted, and had qualities I did not even know to want. I say be picky. Picky, and reasonable all at once.

I wonder, the girl who told you that, is she married?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Socially versatile.
Strong work ethic
Shared interpersonal values
Cohesive “big picture”
Confidence rather than arrogance
Responsible with money
Strong sex drive
Body proportionate
Thinks I’m fantastic

Paradox25's avatar

They absolutely need to be personable, and down to earth. They also need to respond to me in a positive way, and not suffer from the princess syndrome. There is nothing specific that I look for, since everything is up in the air until that person is around you anyways.

wundayatta's avatar

Awesome sex!

I have spent most of my life trying to be a good man. I’ve been sensitive and caring and a feminist. I do the cooking and cleaning and child care as well as my job. I am empathetic and care a great deal about other people. I want to make the world a better place.

It has taken me half a century to discover that those were all just strategies to get a chance to be intimate enough with a woman to find out whether we could completely and utterly blow each other’s minds, sexually.

Sure, a woman has to trust you and feel safe and comfortable with you. She needs to be attracted to you as a person, if not physically. But she does need to feel that physical spark, too.

But none of it matters if you can’t connect at that soul level—at the most intimate and vulnerable level. It doesn’t matter if when you are physically inside each other, there is no magic. No sense of oneness—unable to figure who ends where and who begins where. If that doesn’t happen, then none of it is enough. Not for me, anyway.

I need that kind of connection and I have only experienced it through sex, and I always dismissed it as unnecessary. But I’m afraid I was wrong. You can be a good person. People can like you. You can be successful. But if you can’t connect that way, then life is kind of hollow, I think.

Nullo's avatar

Empathy, wit, intelligence, openness, strength of character, similar interests, a good sense of humor, a certain degree of maturity. Physically, I prefer long hair, delicate features, and a smallish frame.

Aethelflaed's avatar

Decent. Doesn’t take whatever personal stuff he has out on others. Makes me laugh. Pro-choice (and none of this ‘pro-choice, but…’ bs). Not an apologist for rape or abuse. A nerd, though not necessarily in the traditional sci-fi way (could be a nerd about dinosaurs, or Elizabethan theater, or something). Not into ‘traditional values’.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@flutherother LOL. Isn’t it consumerist to compare a mate and actual human being to a chair at IKEA? But no, better not to have standards, and end up with people who say stuff like “Charles Manson is… misunderstood…”.

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