What do you think of the idea that asking questions is a way of asserting power?

Can you provide a simple example?

Interesting. So by turning the question back on the questioner, a person could attempt to change the power dynamic?

Interesting idea. I think I could use it. Lol. This reminds me of a person being grilled by a lawyer in a witness stand and is barred from asking his or her own questions. But it depends on which lawyer is doing the asking of course. A witness for the defense would probably be more than glad to answer more questions from the defense lawyer.

If meant to manipulate and exert control, questions could indeed be used to assert power. But there are times when asking questions, especially the right ones lead to resolving an otherwise complex problem that could easily be muddled by irrelevant questions going back and forth, back and forth…

I think there are many different ways questioning can be used to assert power…

In a group setting (whether that’s a group of friends, at a committee meeting or here on fluther), if you want things to go your way on something, you can ask a question in a way that the only “logical” answer is to agree, so that the majority will automatically do that. Anyone disagreeing may feel less likely to voice their opinion once you’ve got the majority on your side, and if you’ve made it seem logical (or even ethically right) to agree, there are very few people who will stand up and say something different, particularly if you’ve already had a “hear hear” from the majority. This is all the more possible here on fluther, as the questioner gets to put all their thoughts and opinions down in the details of the question. The way that is worded can really make it difficult to disagree or argue. Of course, fluther also has a decent number of people who will keep their responses true to themselves, so it is nicely balanced.

In other settings, asking questions of others keeps them talking about themselves, keeps the conversation focussed on them, thus protecting yourself from having to answer questions yourself. So if you’re nervous about interacting with people, it is often suggested that you ask questions about them, so that you don’t feel the pressure of the conversation.

Asking questions in response to questions, as you provide an example of above, is a well known method employed by politicians to avoid having to answer questions directed at them. As you say, the balance of power is then transferred.

In my job, I deal with a lot of experts in a wide variety of fields. I can’t know enough to keep up with people in all these fields, so I have to ask questions in order to help them. I’m a methodologist, so my questions are about how they plan to do the analysis they want to do.

Sometimes I organize meetings where people present their work as a favor to the community, and others comment on it and try to make suggestions to make the work stronger. Often, all I can contribute is my ignorance. That’s true here, too. I ask questions based on ignorance. I am trying to understand. But it seems, some of the time, that people read more into my question than is there. They think I am laying a trap for them. I have an agenda.

Sometimes, at work, my questions, coming from ignorance as they are, do seem to open doors for other ways of thinking about it. It seems that people have not thought about these questions and that thinking about them is helpful.

Sometimes, I do ask question of the trap variety. Not because I want to trap people, but because I want to know if they have thought something through. I don’t want to assume they haven’t. But if they haven’t, it is usually a problem. My motive is to help them fill in an area of ignorance and most of my clients take it as such, but every once in a while, it seems like they don’t take it well. As if I want to hurt them by pointing out the holes in their work, even though that’s what they come to me for help on.

On fluther, too, I will sometimes ask trap questions, particularly in the political questions. This is because I am tired of butting heads with some people. It serves no purpose. But if we can open an area of investigation in a non-defensive way, maybe they will learn something, and, if I keep an open mind, maybe I can learn something, too. I try to keep an open mind, but I don’t always succeed. I don’t know what my reputation is for on that point around here. Probably mixed.

But I guess some people are more suspicious of me than others. Some of that has to do with differences of politics. That doesn’t bother me. Some of it has to do with people feeling judged by me when I am not judging them. That does worry me.

I suppose this could be true, but speaking for myself, I ask Q.‘s to learn, to explore, to fulfill my curiosity, it never crosses my mind to ask a Q. as a means of gathering some sort of power advantage. Maybe ” attention” is better substituted for power for some.

I ask questions because so many other folks do not.

I enjoy the site, I feel the only way to keep it going is to think of things I imagine others may want to explore and ask. It is the only tangible way to give back.

You talkin’ to me?
Well do ya, punk?

I think asking questions could be viewed as asserting power in the sense that you are asserting your ego within the space. And the way you choose to word your question can direct and frame the type of interaction or direction that it produces.

On the other hand, it can also be seen as a weakness in the sense that you are opening yourself up to the response of other people.

There is a real art to asking a “good” question. In a meeting yesterday, I observed that a participant was (ostensibly) asking questions, but he was really placing his opinion front and center in a way I can only describe as passive-aggressive. When questions are framed to be rhetorical—I don’t want you to answer, I only want you to think about it—that can be construed as a play for power. It often conveys an attitude that the speaker has “solved a problem,” and he/she is posing a question for you to ponder and come to your senses.

Were I to ask “Can you please give me your ideas as to why we missed our target on project X,” I’d be hopeful to engage you in a conversation and essentially seek your expertise. The responder has the power to guide the outcome.

I contrast that to, “We missed our target on project X, and we need to determine how to avoid this in the future. Can you assure me we won’t repeat our mistakes?”

That’s a very different tone—and it places the asker in a position of power. It minimizes the responder’s voice and perceived expertise.

This is exactly what I experienced in a meeting yesterday. A speaker asked four very confrontational questions, positioned them as being rhetorical, and effectively removed the power from the person who was most knowledgeable to respond to each question.

It’s a troubling idea to me too. That asking questions is perceived that way.

Here is a self serving, defensive, snobby generalization and thought regarding that remark that popped into my head. I would bet the smartest, most knowledgeable people tend to ask the most questions. They are also probably the first to admit their ignorance on a topic. However, even saying that, it matters to me how people perceive questions, so I find this new piece of information about how some people interpret questioning very interesting.

It also brings to mind a Jewish saying I once heard that goes something like this: a Jewish mother doesn’t ask her children what they did in school today, she asks if they asked any good questions today. Maybe this is why so many Jewish people go into the sciences? And, @wundayatta I seem to remember you have a Jewish mother. Might be genetic, it’s definitely cultural.

If this were true @wundayatta, then you would be Shazam!

So yes, I agree with this statement. :^)

I’d have thought answering questions could be given more gravitas, under those terms anyway.
After all, a question is utterly pointless without answers, they may even prove beneficial.

Asking questions doesn’t necessarily assert power over others. Questions asked in the right way can make others feel good and pleased to be able to help.

I think that this depends a lot on the particular question asked, along with the situation.

For example, in the field of mathematics, there is almost always one correct answer, and many questions simply state a problem and simply ask what the correct answer is. In this case, the person who answers the question is the person who knows more, and thus shows superior skills.

To me, the questions that display power (as in leadership power) are the ones in which the asker not only asks a question, but simultaneously makes statements and goals. This includes the reason for asking the question, since that shows initiative. The best questions for this are problem-solving questions and questions for a discussion.

For example, take @picante‘s example.

“Can you please give me your ideas as to why we missed our target on project X?”
This is purely a question, as it does not say anything informative or provide the reason for asking.

“We missed our target on project X, and we need to determine how to avoid this in the future. Can you assure me we won’t repeat our mistakes?”

This can actually be divided into three parts, only one of which actually contains the question. “We missed our target on project X” states a fact (a type of fact that a leader would see as important) and provides context. “We need to determine how to avoid this in the future” provides a goal for the discussion and the reason for asking. “Can you assure me we won’t repeat our mistakes?” is the actual question. One very important aspect is the use of pronouns. The you and me actively call upon the listener to engage with the speaker, while the we and our implies that the speaker and listener are to work together to solve the problem.

If you are asking deliberately difficult questions as a way of catching someone out on something you believe isn’t correct that could be a way of asserting power. I sometimes feel this happens when I am teaching. Every so often someone will come along who clearly doesn’t believe in the theories I use to teach (why they come to these particular lessons I don’t know as we are very clear in the methods we use in all of our advertising!) and will ask difficult questions which I have felt were laced with malicious intent. Luckily, so far, I have been able to answer questions like these and keep my dignity intact but that feeling of being put on the spot by a difficult question can make you feel like the other person is trying to gain power over you.

“How does asking questions help you assert power?”
By focusing everyone who considers it, onto the vibration of the the subject of the question.
There is an opportunity in the next moment to continue to keep their attention, or surrender it, or repel it.
People considering a question should be able to assume the asker is actually interested in their answer, and people always like being interesting. But it is in the direction of the idea that the questioner contributed.

“How do you respond when people ask you about what you do?”
In this case it’s even more about the person considerring the question “about what you do” is among most folks’ favorite topics. Again this appeals to the ego and/or shows a sign of respect for the responder that can influence their interest in giving an answer, especially a thoughtful one. That’s a sort of power for sure.