Social Question

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

What do you do when you poo?

Asked by Pied_Pfeffer (28141points) May 24th, 2012

Please…no details about bowel movements.

This is a question that has been stuck in my mind for years. The receptionist at work once told me that several of the men would come into work, stop at the desk to pick up a newspaper, and head directly to the men’s room. Much later, they would reappear.

When I use the bathroom at some friends’ houses, there is often a stack of magazines or puzzle books on the toilet tank or in a magazine rack. Am I the only one who goes into a bathroom, accomplishes the task and gets out? Does it really take that long, or is there something more to it?

Is this more of a male thing, or do women do this as well?

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49 Answers

woodcutter's avatar

Edit my pics in my phone, check messages. Or nothing. I try to be done soon as I can.

Edit: look for TP

JLeslie's avatar

I think men are more likely to spend time in the bathroom. My MIL calls the bathroom the library. I am like you, I just do my thing and leave. I don’t get the whole readong thing either. Not that I have never read something that is laying around in the bathroom, but it is very very rare. Growing up in my parents home there was never reading materials in the bathrooms.

jca's avatar

I am a woman and I go and leave. i don’t stick around or read or anything.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

When else can you read and people have to leave you alone?

DrBill's avatar

I’m a guy and I do the job and leave. most of the time I am in and out in under a minute

ETpro's avatar

That’s my reading time. That and when I take the T or have to sit in a waiting room somewhere. But I don’t linger. I keep a place marker in the book I am reading and generally advance a paragraph or two at a sitting. And I sit for 1 or 2. Sorry guys, but I want to get through my book and peeing while standing up reading is not a great idea.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Read Shampoo bottles

likipie's avatar

I read. Pretty much anything there is to read. Sometimes I keep books in the bathroom or I’ll read labels on things. My sister’s boyfriend had a little song he would sing when going number two. It was…. weird.

dontmindme's avatar

I’m female and I like to read when I poo. We have a stack of magazines in the bathroom. Time is a family favorite for poo reading.

likipie's avatar

By the way, I’m a girl. If that really makes a difference.

NuclearWessels's avatar

I watch 3 clips on my phone. Right around the time the news story wraps up, I’m wrapping things up as well.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@bewailknot Are you are crafting a response while sitting on the toilet?

@likipie It doesn’t sound like gender makes a difference, based upon the answers so far. The receptionist’s comment just had me curious.

Judi's avatar

When my kids were little I sometimes wanted to lock myself in there.
My daughters have now both said that they now understand why I used to scream, “Can’t I please pee in peace?”
As for poo, I don’t like hanging around in my own stink.

bewailknot's avatar

I often take my Kindle in, but try to finish fast so sometimes I don’t get to read anything.

JLeslie's avatar

I wonder if it has anything to do with it being routinized? In your example it seemed like the men had their BM’s at a regular time each day. The people I know who read also have this characteristic. For me, going to the bathroom is an annoyance that takes me away from doing whatever I need to do. Although, I can understand @Judi example of the bathroom being a place to hide from the rest of the world for a few minutes.

Sunny2's avatar

When I know it’s likely to take more than the usual time, I take along a book, a crossword puzzle or a Sudoku.

tranquilsea's avatar

I’ve never understood the whole reading thing. I’d much rather hit the bathroom, do my business and then curl up in a chair to read well away from the bathroom. I’m in and out in under a minute.

Trillian's avatar

My ex husband called the bathroom “the reading room”. He would sometimes be in there for half an hour. I don’t understand either. If I start to think about all the weird stuff he did, I’ll work myself up. It never takes me more than a couple minutes. You don’t even want to know the horrible mental images I have pop up in my head when I start wondering.

dontmindme's avatar

Some of us aren’t blessed with the ability to poo under a minute. Is it that difficult to understand that some of us get tired of staring at the shower curtain? :)

mazingerz88's avatar

I have National Geographic magazines and Calvin and Hobbes books in my bathroom. I don’t really enjoy pooing but while at it might as well stir my imagination and have some laughs. I also listen to NPR and I do have a list of “Things One Shouldn’t Hear From The Radio While Doing Number Two.” ( well mostly they involve what silly Republicans are doing that day )

Coloma's avatar

I have travel mags in a basket with rolled up towels underneath a little bamboo vanity table. I skim my newest travel mags, but don’t linger for more than a few minutes. lol

wildpotato's avatar

I Fluther, read the New Yorker, pay my bills, read the news, click around on Wikipedia, read my NJ Paddler’s Guidebook, check the weather, work on my budget, make grocery lists, smoke weed, and other stuff I’m sure. I used to hide in the bathroom to read when I was a little kid because no one bothered me there. And now that I need to chill in there for half an hour to an hour at a time and have an iPhone, I see no reason to not keep myself entertained. I’m a woman.

ETpro's avatar

@JLeslie I go at least twotimes a day, often three. And the first two are always after a cup of coffee. The doc asket me to take a Metamucil clone 3 times a day and a Colace clone twice a day. That’s on top of a diet that features whole grains, lots of fruits and vegetables and virtually no processed foods. Stop reading when TMI hits, but that makes for very large movements that are easy to pass, hardly smell, and there’s nothing left for the TP to do. Of course, I use it anyway, just to be sure. :-)

Maybe that accounts for why I can get through a book in a few weeks.

rooeytoo's avatar

I don’t linger but you have to have something to do while the process is taking place, so yep a magazine rack is always in the toilet where we live!

lillycoyote's avatar

I could go into great detail on this one, even without the biological aspects, but upon reflection, I have decided against that. And don’t think I didn’t hear that huge, collective sigh of relief from the community just now, and all of your murmuring: Thank God!

The thing about men and the newspapers is interesting, though. At my last job, there were a number of men who would walk down the hall, with a newspaper tucked under their arm, and march right into the bathroom. There may have been men who were more discreet, but I never, ever saw any woman enter a bathroom, with their reading material in full display, indicating clearly, what their intentions were.

DominicX's avatar


Generally I don’t read in the bathroom. But it’s different when I’m at home (my parent’s house). At home I have my own bathroom and it’s a nice-ass bathroom. Here in my apartment I share a bathroom with three guys and it’s always a little janky. For that reason I don’t have much desire to spend more time than necessary in there.

As it is, I generally take a little longer to poo so I’m usually in there for a little while, at least longer than my roommates. (One of my roommates bragged that he would take 20 seconds to take a crap).

xnightflowerx's avatar

Usually I just go. Sometimes I click around on my phone. But its harder to go if I’m distracted by reading something or whatever. lol.

Bellatrix's avatar

I don’t hang around in there but I usually have an academic book I am trying to get through on the shelf in case I do end up with a few minutes to kill.

ucme's avatar

Trousers down, arse parked, mild clench, depth charge delivered, crack wiped & i’m out of there.

augustlan's avatar

It takes me forever, and if I didn’t have reading material in there, I’d go insane. I’ve got books and magazines out the wazoo in there, it really is a bit like a library! I hate when I have to go at other people’s houses, and there’s nothing to read. I’ll read the back of the soap bottle, if I have to.

About the men at work thing… if most women are anything like me, they’re doing their damnedest to avoid pooing at work. If I absolutely had to, I’d make sure I had something to read there, too.

Keep_on_running's avatar

I’m in and out pretty quickly, I’ve never read anything on the loo. Maybe it’s a time to relax for some people, maybe they seek solace there. Or something.

lillycoyote's avatar

@Keep_on_running The “something” is, for those of us who need to read on the toilet, sometimes, and I suppose I shouldn’t speak for anyone but myself, pretty much all about the bottom line, all about making “it” happen. At least it is for me. I don’t really know about the physiology involved, but there is not really a hidden agenda of any kind; about solace, relaxing, etc. It just does the trick; it’s all about getting the job done, if that is how you roll.

ratboy's avatar

I snack; it’s good to maintain balance in life.

fremen_warrior's avatar

I never understood it myself, but a lot of my friends have stacks of magazines of all kinds, and going to the john seems like an entire event in itself. Who’d want to spend so much time there and WHY? lol One of the greatest mysteries of life I guess ;-)

wildpotato's avatar

@fremen_warrior It takes different people different amounts of time. You may find this thread instructive. Incidentally, that Q was featured in an article about Fluther written a few years ago, and was what intrigued me enough to stay with the site.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I definitely just do my thing, clean up and leave.

gailcalled's avatar

While growing up, I was under the impression that my father used the bathroom as a place to get away from my mother’s incessant chattering. He spent a very long time in there routinely and always read something.

So, I read also even for the few minutes it takes. It feels like a place to get through a chapter or two.

rebbel's avatar

I read too.
Just one letter though, which I have to turn around for after I have finished what I came for.

Mariah's avatar

My name’s Mariah, and I’m a toilet smartphone user.

downtide's avatar

It’s not the most comfortable place in my house to sit and read. I’d rather do my business and get out.

Argonon's avatar

I just go in and take care of business. I usually just look around the bathroom and see if I could spot anything I haven’t noticed before, it doesn’t take all that long either. I would never want to take anything in there with me for fear of infesting it with germs..I have a thing about germs..

AshlynM's avatar

Reading on the toliet isn’t a necessity for me. I don’t ususally like to take longer than necessary on the toliet. I find if I sit for too long my legs go mumb.

flo's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer I hope the people at your workplace (”....Much later, they would reappear.”) don’t reappear with the newspaper.

By the way people don’t eat enough fiber.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@flo LOL! I have no idea if they did or not.

I recently read a post from a teenage girl who painted her nails while ‘sitting on the throne’, and then immediately realized that it was a mistake.

flo's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer Hopefully they were thoughtfull enough.
And re. ”…teenage girl who painted her nails” Oh boy! is that for real? I guess at least there is the TP which kind of helps.

snapdragon24's avatar

HAHA this is really funny!...I sing! And apparently thats how Eminem writes his lyrics. I heard George Bush talks to god. lol

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@flo I have no clue if the nail painter was truthful or not about the situation, but I like to believe anyone who makes fun of themselves in a public forum.

@snapdragon24 Singing is great in the bathroom. Good acoustics.

echotech10's avatar

I usually use my iPhone while I am pooping. I have several apps on it that keep me busy. Unfortunately I am not the “in and out” type pooper. I can take anywhere from 20–40 minutes to poop. This is because I have IBS, and that sometimes keeps me seated longer than I would like.

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