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Berserker's avatar

Question for fun; if you were a toy, which kind would you be?

Asked by Berserker (33524points) May 31st, 2012

Based on your personality, your views, hobbies, occupation, your life story…based on who you are, is a there a toy you might slightly relate yourself to? How is that toy’s functions and design related to yourself, at least symbolically? What toy is it, what does it do? I

and when I mean toy, I mean a toy that kids play with, you pervs :p It can be any toy from a hobby horse to a Star Wars Lego set, or whatever the hell they have now.

Also just for the creep factor, do you think your toys remember you? :D

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56 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

So I’m a perv and the first thing that came to mind before I read the details was “sex toy.” Then I started thinking about what kind of complicated sex toy I could be, with how many different things I could do and how many attachments I might have and you know damn well that this is the only appropriate toy for me to be.

Berserker's avatar

Lmao. Attachments.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

My first thought was from perveville too, think rabbits and butterflies. But I’d say a soccer ball or a lacrosse stick.

muppetish's avatar

A stuffed animal, no question. Not because I am cute and cuddly (though I have been told that on occasion), but because when I was a kid, stuffed toys ranked among my best friends. We went everywhere together—off on grand adventures, or just to lounge on the couch and watch telly. I hugged them tight. I empathized with their beady eyes. I still look at them and smile.

My first instinct was teddy bear, which I have no qualms with whatsoever, but I wouldn’t mind being an animal of different stuffing either.

bewailknot's avatar

A pink bunny with a music box inside and windup key on my tummy. Long floppy ears for some kid to tug on.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

A cuddly, squishy soft, stuffed kitty cat that kids could cuddle with, play with, talk to, make stories up about, drag through dirt and God only knows what else, and generally be very loved.

Berserker's avatar

@muppetish GA. I had that type of relationship with my stuffies, most notably a rabbit and a bear. It’s cool that you still have them, too. :) Oh and also, Calvin and Hobbes rocks.

@WillWorkForChocolate Aaaaaw that sounds so cute, I want you one. :D

@bewailknot I’m imagining a toy like that. Kinda reminds me of the Energizer Bunny. :D

bewailknot's avatar

@Symbeline More cuddly than the energizer bunny (short, stout and squishy). It was my favorite toy for years. I slept with it every night.

Berserker's avatar

@bewailknot Wait that was a real toy? That sounds cool. Squishy musical bunny!

bewailknot's avatar

It was, I couldn’t sleep without. My poor mom was stuck trying to clean it after I barfed all over it one night. It was never the same after that – not as soft. She bought me a blue bunny but I never loved it the same, he wasn’t squishy.

Berserker's avatar

@bewailknot Aaaaw, barfing on bunnies, blue bunnies you didn’t love so much. I’m getting a sweet and sour taste in my mouth. Being a kid is too hard.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@bewailknot How funny, the same thing happened to my daughter’s stuffed unicorn when she was little!

bewailknot's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate @Symbeline – you two are giving me a warm fuzzy feeling :P

blueberry_kid's avatar

I would be crayons! Because I come in many colors.

Wait, can crayons be toys?

If not, any type of sports ball. Like a volleyball, a softball, or a lacrosse ball.

ragingloli's avatar

I would be a tentacle rape machine.

Berserker's avatar

@blueberry_kid Crayons count for sure! I had a whole set of them as a kid, but I left them out in the sun and seriously they all melted :(

@ragingloli I figured you’d say something that didn’t have anything to do with the question. With that said, I prefer futanari.

ragingloli's avatar

It has everything to do with the question.

Kardamom's avatar

I have to say it would be a troll doll so I could be close enough to get bitten by You Know Who

Berserker's avatar

You’re all pervs damnit! I wanna be that troll doll too

BIRDistheWORD's avatar

I would be one of those IRobot pet dog thingys that kids “used” to play with. I got my Nephew one of those things for Christmas and I had to go get me one of them, cause I couldn’t put it down!

Kardamom's avatar

@Symbeline, either that troll doll or this Cane (not sure if that constitutes a toy, but I wouldn’t mind being held in those hands)

@Adirondackwannab I am not a perve! I am a romantic.

Berserker's avatar

@BIRDistheWORD I remember those. They seemed kinda creepy to me at the time, but yet rather fascinating, too. Can they actually do a full flip like the commercials showed?

@Kardamom Seriously I have got to see this movie. That’s such an awesome screenshot.

BIRDistheWORD's avatar

@Symbeline Sadly no they can’t. But one thing they can do is get stomped on by a dog! my “real” dog decided that he wanted to play around with it too and smashed it. Oh well I had my fun with it…a whole 20 minutes worth.

Berserker's avatar

lmao funny story. I guess maybe not so for you though. :/

JLeslie's avatar

I would be a model city where you can set up houses, restaurants, a gym, parks, schools, hotels, train station. It would be cute for kids, not extremely large. Mostly I think I would have liked to play with it when I was a kid, but I think it is a good answer anyway because I am always observing and interested in how cities and tranportation are planned out anyway.

Coloma's avatar

A model horse. Because I’ve been a horse person most of my life, I am spirited, adventurous and I have a pretty mane and tail. lol

Rarebear's avatar

A 152 mm Lunt hydrogen alpha double stacked telescope with a full imaging package.

Oh, you meant a toy for kids and not me?

ratboy's avatar

I’m a little teapot,
Short and stout,
Here is my handle,
Here is my spout,
When I get all steamed up,
Hear me shout,
Tip me up and pour me out!

mazingerz88's avatar

Hmmm, a toy boomerang?

LuckyGuy's avatar

Ummm… an Erector set? Cause I’m an Engineer you pervs. Why else?

Sunny2's avatar

A jack in the box. You turn the handle and music plays. Then I pop up with a silly grin to make you laugh. Well, the little ones I imagine pleasing would laugh.
I don’t know about you guys.

King_Pariah's avatar

The velveteen rabbit (without the happy ending). Constantly smiling while put under endless abuses and then finally thrown out to be burned.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Maybe Play-Doh. I often feel like a clump of putty that started out as a blob and one color. As time went on, different forms took shape, got remolded, and sometimes a few more colors were added in. If not properly treated, I run the risk of ending this personal evolution. And just like Play-Doh, existence will eventually end up returning back to the ground.

Coloma's avatar

Hmmmm….but I might want to be a rubber ducky too. I love baths and my hot tub and of course, my goose Marwyn. haha

JLeslie's avatar

@LuckyGuy Have you seen the movie with Jason Alexander about the man who invented the Erector Set? It’s a nice family movie if you haven’t. I don’t remember if you have kids? I don’t, but I still enjoyed it. It’s a Christmas movie; based on a true story but with quite a bit of creative liberties taken.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@JLeslie I hadn’t heard of that movie. I will look it up. It sounds like fun.
I loved the Erector set because you could make anything with it. Unfortunately it was really easy to make something that sliced fingers.

linguaphile's avatar

One of the American Girl historical dolls. Yes, I know they’re overpriced and overmarketed but… 1. they’re not disproportionately skinny like Barbies and really look close to human, relatively, 2. the historical dolls come with informative book sets and historically accurate accessories, 3. They’re not boring, really 4. They have a huge arts and crafts section and fan following for arts and crafting 5. They are made with quality materials made to last.

If I can’t be one of those dolls, then I’d choose to be an Etch-a-Sketch or an ant farm. :D

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Barbie with all her accessories!

Bellatrix's avatar

I could be one of those really bouncy balls that you get from the Australian Geographic shop. They have flashing, sparkly lights in them and some of them make annoying noises (as do I).

Or (and more likely) a butterfly plasma ball because I think my brain works a bit like this and I have the attention span of a butterfly.

augustlan's avatar

I would be a super cool doll house with tons of miniature furniture and art, and working lights. Just because I love interior design, and always wanted one myself. The closest I came was a Barbie Dream House. Not quite the same. :(

ucme's avatar

Maybe Stretch Armstrong, because i’m adaptable, fun & own a massive penis.
Or possibly the fucking duracell bunny, for my staying power & legendary humping prowess.

wundayatta's avatar

Mouse trap!

Due to the Rube Goldberg nature of my consciousness.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Don’t know why, but a slinky came to mind first. Is that a perv thing?

gondwanalon's avatar

I see myself as a puppet and or a yoyo. I’m always at the beck and call of the powers that be. I spin going nowhere for short periods awaiting directions then dance to the wills of others. I’m always tethered to a string yet always yearning to do my own thing. Someday perhaps I will finally break free and run out into the world to me myself while yelling “free at last!“

Berserker's avatar

@linguaphile Never heard of those dolls, but they sound cool. Then again I was never in America, so that might explain that. And yeah, fuckin barbies. I liked cutting their hair, and then their heads, off.

And Etch-A-Sketch rules.

@Bellatrix I like your balls. I mean…. Bouncy balls are cool. Never heard any that made noise though, but that sounds funny.

@augustlan Cool dollhouse!

@King_Pariah Lulz. I liked that story. Your idea sounds something straight out of a horror movie, and I like it. :)

And now ladies and gentlemen, the most stupid toy that could possibly exist.

ProTip; I’m not relating myself to it in any way. Although I may act just as lame as the two guys playing with it if I had one.

ragingloli's avatar

The most stupid toy?
Try this one

ragingloli's avatar

You think that is bad, look at this slide

Facade's avatar

Is a computer a toy? I’d be a computer. You can do many things with it, and it’s very helpful. It automatically updates with the latest software. It runs great most of the time, but sometimes it lags, freezes, or shuts down at will. It also needs to be charged often.. Can I also be a Mac because they look nice and are more streamlined than PCs?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@ragingloli I think I’m finally speechless. Holy crap.

Berserker's avatar

“I’m 32 and enjoy riding the broom as much as my 12 yr old and 7 year old,”

…by the gods. Also nice, a giant penis. I’d go inside. Thing is, those toys were probably not meant to be depicted in the way our sick minds do, even though the designers should have probably been more careful. But I still think my shitting dog wins, because that’s just it; the people who created this toy intended it to do exactly what it does. Although I guess that’s not as bad as blowing into a Teletubby’s ass to make it play music.

@Facade Sure computers (or Macs) count. :)

ragingloli's avatar

Well, there is this inflatable wolverine

Or this huge, definitely female, pikachu

Berserker's avatar

Lmao @Blowverine. XD

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

LMAO. Blowverine.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

I would be a bionical since those were my favorite toys as a child I loved playing pretend..even though i do now….still… anyways…!

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