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SuperMouse's avatar

Parents, do you let your kids bring friends to family functions?

Asked by SuperMouse (30798points) June 5th, 2012

When I was growing up my parents never let us bring friends to get-togethers with the extended family. I am not sure the thought process behind it but for some reason I have followed their lead. Do you have a hard and fast rule about your children inviting friends to family functions?

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14 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

Our daughter brought a friend on a week long vacation. That made things easier for all of us. I’m not sure if that counts since it was just our family. But I believe my parents have offered to let the kids bring a friend on the extended family vacation as well. Not sure how that would work, but I have no problem, in principle.

Sunny2's avatar

When I was a child, it was never mentioned. We did things as a family and the family group was enough, I guess. I never wanted to bring anyone else along.
In my family, we included others when it seemed a good idea. My daughter brought a friend along for Little League games. My son brought along a friend now and then. It wasn’t an issue.

GracieT's avatar

I’m not a parent, but when I was in school many of my friends had families that weren’t as close as mine. They were always welcome to come along and borrow mine.

JLeslie's avatar

In my family and my husband’s it is unusual for a child’s friend to be at a formal function where we would all sit down at the dinner table. Even if it is Christams, it doesn’t have to be a wedding, and the plan is a dinner at the dinner table. If it is less formal, kind of buffet style not seated at one table and the person hosting is the one who has children, a couple of the kids friends might be there. If the party is at a different relatives house usually not.

Whenever I have invited my neice and nephew to a race event for my husband or I also offered to take them to one of my football games in Michigan, I have told them they can bring a friend if they want.

There isn’t a hard and fast rule is what I guess I am saying, but there are some unspoken expectations I guess of what is normal in the family. If a teen child has a girlfriend or boyfriend we would always welcome them to any event.

woodcutter's avatar

We had friends of our son’s over all the time to the extent they were almost living with us. So having a bbq wouldn’t have been any different. Many times when going out we would ok one buddy to come. Some of our son’s friends had shitty parents in my view so there were times where they had no place to go if not with us.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My kids are 5 and 3 and so far, not really but I’m not opposed to it.

creative1's avatar

It depends on the family function, if it was just my immediate family with the family then yes I would let my daughter/s invite a friend/s to join us.

If we were going to someone elses home then no because it just isn’t right to invite someone else to another persons place.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Not often, as a “family function” is for family, IMHO, but I have allowed a friend to go along a time or two, due to extenuating circumstances. Their friends are welcome at our home, pretty much anytime they like, but not generally when we run errands or go to a family gathering.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No. We have such limited time with their visits that we ask them to just put up with us. They are 18, 17 and 14. Only a few times has the girl asked to bring her bf along to things but we’ve discouraged it and she does understand her dad’s feelings so we’ve been ok, no drama.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Yes. We’ve brought a bestie along with us when she was sleeping over on the same day as an event. Family members have brought their kids over with a friend or two.

Obviously we clear it with the invitee prior to bringing our extra guest. They have done so with us, as well.

We’re thrilled our son has a friend. :)

Linda_Owl's avatar

I usually allowed my kids to bring friends to extended family functions. Having friends is important to kids & by allowing the friends to accompany my kids, it increased the bonding between us.

bewailknot's avatar

Yes as long as it was cleared with the family member hosting the function, and if the function was to honor someone like a birthday I would clear it with the honoree, too.

augustlan's avatar

My best friend and I practically lived in each other’s homes when we were growing up, and we were all considered family. We attended each other’s family functions often (with permission from whoever was hosting), including vacations. I have no objection to allowing my kids to do it, but it doesn’t really come up, aside from one ‘family’ friend, whom they’ve known since birth. They just don’t spend nearly the amount of time with their friends as I did. Probably because most of them don’t live in the same neighborhood.

Bellatrix's avatar

It would depend on the function and who was holding it but if one of them had a friend over and we were going out, we were happy to take their friend too. If the event was at another relative’s house, I would ask first.

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