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punkrockworld's avatar

If your gf/bf was cheating,would you wanna know the truth?

Asked by punkrockworld (960points) May 29th, 2008


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39 Answers

LunaFemme's avatar

absolutely. I don’t appreciate someone taking away my choices & by lying to me he is limiting my ability to make good choices in life. I would castrate him for that NOT for the actual cheating!!

marinelife's avatar

YES! LunaFemme said it beautifully. Too many times the cheater justifies him or herself by saying they love both or they haven’t made up their minds, NEVER UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY ARE COMPOUNDING THEIR OFFENSE BY NOT LETTING THEIR PARTNER DECIDE WHETHER THEY WANT OT BE WITH A CHEATER!

Mtl_zack's avatar

of course. if they need someone different then tell me, and maybe i’d change.

TheHaight's avatar

Of course I’d want to know the truth! No way would I want to be played for a fool. The truth tends to always come out anyways. I’d rather know it sooner then later so I can move on with life.

TheCouncil's avatar

Of course. I would rather them not cheat on the first place. If the temptation is there and you dont want to resist because of your love for me then just end the relationship.

ebenezer's avatar

yes. It would give me a good excuse to be self-destructive (which I enjoy immensly)

Randy's avatar

Yup! If she was, I’d dump her like a bag of bricks.

willbrawn's avatar

duh, the answer is yes

DeezerQueue's avatar

Yes, although I think the likelihood of it being the case are pretty small. They exist, of course, but are pretty minimal. That being said, my friends know me well enough that they would come to me with the truth, but only if they knew for a fact that it was happening, not because they thought it might be happening. Chances are that if my friends thought it was happening, then I would have already thought it, too.

sndfreQ's avatar

Yes of course-not to mention the fact that if that person was having unprotected sex and hiding it from you, they’d be putting you at risk of contracting an STD…trust me, you would hate to find out your SO was cheating that way.

One of my wife’s colleagues at work found out her husband was cheating on her because she contracted herpes and had an outbreak-imagine that scene! Now thanks to her ex-husband’s foolish and cowardly ways, she has to live with that affliction, and tell every partner she wants to become intimate with that whole story…how horrible.

DS's avatar

I personnally woudn’t want to know about it . It might add a little spice in the relashionship in the fact that the cheater sees you with different eyes after trying with someone else and he/she treat you with condescandence.(flowers, sweet words) .As for an example my father did have an extracongugal adventure for about 8 years (

margeryred's avatar

I think everyone will say yes to this… but my take is that you cannot control the actions of others… so your lover may be cheating on you this very minute and quite frankly if he/she doesn’t want to get caught, they may be very good at getting away with it.

I hope that in case of an unscrupulous action on my partner’s behalf protection will be used and nothing will be brought home to me…. :)

DS's avatar

Suite] and she knew about it when I ask her she said it was the best year in her life. She never asks and he never tells.

shockvalue's avatar

I’m with randy.

cheebdragon's avatar

I agree with sndfreQ!

autumnofage's avatar

yeah. The physical act of cheating doesnt bother me it’s the respect issue of it. If it’s been agreed upon that my relationship with someone is monogamous and they cheat then yes I’d like to know so I can ask what’s up with our agreement and to make sure I’m still safe. If it’s not set as a monogamous relationship then I don’t need to know exactly all the times my partner has slept with someone as long as he’s making sure he’s clean still.

marinelife's avatar

If it’s not monogamous, it’s not cheating.

atr408's avatar

hell yeah I’d want to know. I would hate to be in an intament relationship and find out in the futer that some other guy was doing my girl. I’d feel stupid

kaleidoscopic's avatar

Yes. It’s always easier to move on hating the person instead of still being head over heels in love with the person. At least for me. And I would like to know if he cheated on me and find out who the other person was and get revenge.

cheebdragon's avatar

Revenge! i love it!

TheCouncil's avatar

why get revenge on the person they cheated with. They fell for the same lie you did. If anyone deserves revenge its the cheater but in that the best revenge is letting them go.

scamp's avatar

Of course I would want to know so I could dump his ass after making his life miserable, ha ha!!

Trance24's avatar

Yea, its something I would be kind of worried about. Plus I would want to know so I could stop waisting my time.

8lightminutesaway's avatar

absofreakinlutely. Why wouldn’t you?

ninjaxmarc's avatar

its better to know now then down the road when it hurts the most.

Allie's avatar

Yes, I would want to know. I’d be sad and angry, then I’d sack him.

noraasnave's avatar

No! I generally would not want to know. I have dealt with that topic since being here in Iraq. I ended up deciding that if it happened I would forgive it and move on anyway. I have already decided on marital counseling. This approach allowed me the manage the fear and not jump to any conclusions.

The only reason I would want to know would be for her to get it off of her chest instead of carrying it around beating herself up about it, so we could move past it in our relationship when she was ready of course. I consider marriage a life long venture. You are never going to make it if you get hung up on mistakes.

I am referring to a one time event. If she decides to continue in sexual relationship with someone else then drastic measures must be taken to safeguard the children and myself.

broken's avatar

This is a tough one. If you want to know, and if you truly love someone, be pepared for a world of hurt and know exactly how you plan to handle it when you find out. For a while I tried to figure out and wanted to know if my husband was cheating on me. When I found out that he was, I was devastated for a long time. I wasnt prepared to have him confirm it and I just didnt know how to handle it. It is more than being just curious, it turned my world upside down and took it in a very different direction. I am slowly moving so my advise is it is important to know but be prepared.

ravenhon's avatar

Yes I would want to know. If she was getting some on the side, I should be able to as well!!

krose1223's avatar

It depends on the situation… If it was a one time thing that they TRULY knew they would never do again, then no. Ignorance is bliss. Now, if there was an ongoing relationship, or maybe it was mulitple people and the player never learned, then yes. My ex cheated on me multiple times with multiple people, and he never told me. I found out after I gave birth to his child then I punched him in his face. :)

krose1223's avatar

didn’t mean to send that just yet. But yeah, so in that situation I am glad he told me. But if he made a HUMAN mistake just as all humans do, I would rather not know. Because of my ex I am really sensitive on the cheating thing because I was really hurt… but I know that people make mistakes and sometimes it is just their business.

dirtydevil521's avatar

i would…cause i mean what’s worse the truth that makes you cry or a lie that makes you feel better..?

lakersfuture's avatar

I would have to say that I would leave that person in a heartbeat. When someone cheats on you all the trust is taken away. I have seen first hand how it ruins a relationship… my friend is going through that now… In my point of view someone who says that they love two people doesn’t know what real love is because if you know what real love is then you wouldnt have the heart to cheat on the person…

If I was stupid enough to stay with that person who cheated on me I would worry all the time… If he said he was at work or hanging with the guys, I wouldn’t be able to say ok love you… I would worry the whole time till he came home… Why in the world would someone do that to themselves?

randomguy45's avatar

It looks like everyone is in agreement on this. As much as it would hurt to find out that your significant other is cheating, it’s better than being oblivious too it, ignorance may be bliss, but if “bliss” means that you’re living a lie, then i don’t want any part of it.

trishanddan's avatar

Knowledge is power. You can make the right decisions based on Knowing all of the facts. If you choose to stay, you stay knowing he is cheating, but if you don’t know he is cheating, and you are in the relationship, you are a blinded fool. Always best to know all of the facts in things/relationships involving you (and your heart).

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Yes, I would want to know the truth. This has happened to me and I hated it and most of all, I hated not knowing.

Having experienced it…..women KNOW. We aren’t stupid. What changes? He suddenly gets really crabby around you. He won’t look at you. He won’t let you answer his cell phone like you used to. He shuts all the windows down on his computer when you walk into the room. Stuff like that. So…we KNOW.

The worst part is never the cheating…’s the constant LYING. The lying is what kills the relationship….telling the truth hurts like hell, but its like a band-aid being ripped off quickly. You can talk, you can cry…and most of all, you can decide. The problem with men is that they want it both ways——the wife to clean the house, add to the family income and be the galley slave….. and the mistress who never sees him wipe his boogers underneath the kitchen table or have to clean his railroaded boxers. (Sorry for the graphic folks, but it’s true.)

The other way…not knowing for sure… is like having it pulled off slowly…and it catches on every follicle of arm hair.

Just be brave….tell the truth…and stop torturing the aggrieved partner, you know? That’s what I think. Then both parties can move on…..

And the mistress can worry about the boogies under her expensive Chippendale table (that was made in China, but she doesn’t know because she has no taste).

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