General Question

JLeslie's avatar

Parents: If I ask you what actions you take to raise your children to be good people, what are the top three things that come to mind?

Asked by JLeslie (54508points) June 22nd, 2012

Basically what you think you do that helps them become well behaved, responsible, and caring individuals.

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13 Answers

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Integrity- it helps if they know what’s expected of them and why.

Responsibility- accountability goes with this and looking out for each other.

Flexibility- sometimes going with other people’s ways in, try to look at things from as many angles as reasonable.

I see this in the kids of some of my siblings, how they thank their parents and try to help each other through life changes.

SuperMouse's avatar

1. Lead with love.
2. Give them plenty of time and attention.
3. Set rules and boundaries and enforce them using logical consequences when the rules are broken.

augustlan's avatar

Exposure to a lot of different world views (religions and atheism, cultures, sexualities, economic standings, etc.), and talking about them all as neutrally as possible, is probably my top thing to inspire understanding and compassion.

Explaining ‘why’, and not just ‘what’. A lot of deep conversation.

Consequences for bad behavior.

YARNLADY's avatar

Love them
Live your life the way you want them to live theirs.
Remember praise works far better than punishment in the long run.

ucme's avatar

Just follow your mum & dad’s lead & you can’t go far wrong.
Working beautifully so far & no reason to suggest that won’t continue to be the case.

wundayatta's avatar

I treat them as I want to be treated. I explain my reasons for what I think, much of the time. I try not to act like I think I have all the answers. We work through things together.

Of course, since I tend to speak as if I do know a lot of things, it’s difficult making sure they question everything I say. But they seem to have caught on. Now my daughter acts more like a traditional parent than I do. It’s annoying. But useful.

Rarebear's avatar

Set clear limits.
Make them to go to sleep early.
Encourage them to do their homework when they wake up in the morning.

geeky_mama's avatar

I adore Auggie’s answers – which pretty much parallel my own thoughts.

1. Exposing kids to other cultures/languages/beliefs/philosophies and demonstrating tolerance.

2. Making clear what you expect of kids – simple boundaries/consequences.
(In our experience, the more this was covered when the kids were very little the less we had to say as they got older. It’s now very simple to say to our preteen or teen aged kids: “Wow, that’s just not OK.” and they are instantly contrite, apologetic and fix the behavior.)

3. Constant humor. We laugh at ourselves, each other and all have pretty snarky humor. It works well for all of us…or at least we’ve warped our kids in a way that’s entertaining for us…

ETpro's avatar

First and foremost, I believe that we need to demonstrate (not just claim) unconditional love for them.

Next, teach them to be all that they can be. Bread in them the desire to set high goals and then attain them. And show them how doing this is definitely not a drag, it’s a key to fulfillment in life.

Teach them a sense of integrity. Allow them to be honest with you about what they feel, to never feel they need to cover up their true selves or lie about whom they are.

Pandora's avatar

1.That a lack of integrity won’t only effect them. The world judges us as a family unit. No its not fair but is the way it is. When people see bad kids they assume the parents are bad and vice versa.
2. Kind actions are best when not advertised. You should be kind for its on sake. Because its the moral thing to do. Not because you wish to be admired.
3. Enjoy every day you can without doing anything that will bring regret later. You never want to leave this world wishing you could undo some damage you left unresolved. Guilt can guide your life in a direction you wish you never took. You never want a past that haunts you.

synapse's avatar

The importance of integrity and its definition-doing the right thing even if no one is around to see it. Realizing that everyone has a split second before anything comes out of their mouth and to use that split second wisely.

mattbrowne's avatar

1) Be there for them when they’re in trouble
2) Have joint meals with plenty of time to talk
3) Be a good role model (uphold work ethics, read plenty, eat healthy food, drink moderately, never litter and so forth)

pcmonkey's avatar

1) Responsibility
2) Setting good examples towards others (make good grades, eat healthy, etc.)
3) Live life to the fullest

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