General Question

nighttripper's avatar

How do I get my bf to buy me something pretty?

Asked by nighttripper (162points) May 30th, 2008

He has a silver chain I gave him when we started going out that kind of symbolizes our relationship and I want him to give me something like that but he hasn’t. We’ve been together 6 months and don’t do birthday or holiday gifts so not that way. I don’t even care if the stones or anything is real I just want something I can wear that I’ll look down at and go “awww I love him so much :D” How???

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26 Answers

jstringham21's avatar

Just tell him to buy you something.

marinelife's avatar

Would that be even if he doesn’t get tested for STD? Why do you think this is a good relationship nighttripper?

jrpowell's avatar

You could walk around with him and point out things that you think are pretty.

Or you buy it yourself and send him a bill. I don’t see a good way to get him to buy you something that he doesn’t want to buy you. And if the fact that he bought it for you provides the emotional attachment I don’t see why you would want to force the issue. Since that is fake gesture.

superdan's avatar

talk to his mom about it. she may have some influence over him!! you also may not want some dude picking out jewelery for you all by himself ;)

nighttripper's avatar

@ Marina – I just put a post up like 10 seconds ago on the STD question. He made an appointment for tuesday

nighttripper's avatar

I’m not so buddy buddy with his mom really. I’ve only seen her like twice ever and 1 time was at the police station (long story his bad not mine I was just there)

gailcalled's avatar

@NIghttripper; you definitely posted the STD question three days ago.

nighttripper's avatar

@ gailcalled yeah the question was a few days ago but I mean I just put a new response to the question a little while ago

wizard's avatar

Tell him you need something to remind you of him when he’s gone.

gailcalled's avatar

And didn’t you tell us three weeks ago that the bf has a borderline personality disorder?
And that your mother was a retard and that your life was essentially chaotic and out-of-control? (MY paraphrasing) And then getting really angry at most of the well-thought out and carefully written responses? What do you think we can do for you?

chaosrob's avatar

Why are you so needy that you’re trying to extract tokens of affection from such an unhealthy relationship?

Adina1968's avatar

How serious is this relationship? You’ve been going with this guy 6 months but you don’t exchange gifts & you thought he might have given you an STD. I do not mean to be mean but it sounds to me that the gift that you really need is a hefty dose of self esteem. Kick this guy to the curb!

nighttripper's avatar

@ Adina1968 – I didn’t think he gave me an std clearly you did not read the question theyre talking about and I’m not going to waste my time repeating it.

@ chaosrob – you dont really know a lot about the relationship so that’s not your area to judge. and wanting something to remind me of him is not being needy especially since we only get to see each other on Saturdays and some fridays and he has something like that from me too.

@ gailcalled – do you have something agaisnt someone with an emotional disorder? and what does my mother have to do with any of this? I don’t see how that relates to this question at all really…

delirium's avatar

I do not think this is a good idea. I think its kind of shallow. More than kind of.

The only monetary-type gift i’ve ever received from my boyfriend was a surprise black stuffed squirrel because I didn’t get to see one in Canada and was so disappointed. (Oh yeah, and a anatomical skeleton for my birthday!!) I buy him things all the time. He just doesn’t function in the gift-y way and I don’t mind that. We’ve been together about four years, now.

chaosrob's avatar

You’re asking for an increasing level of intimacy from someone who you only see a couple of times a week and who is very slow to take your feelings into account. Does that strike you as healthy? Further, he’s already gotten a token from you and clearly didn’t have the impulse to reciprocate. He’s either kind of selfish or he’s just not that into you. Again, what is it in you that makes you seek a deeper engagement with someone so obviously unlikely to give it to you?

nighttripper's avatar

He’s not selfish though he is slow to make decisions and changes his mind a million times which is why it was so hard for me to get him to go get tested he’s like that with every decision. And he is really sweet he’s written me like fantasy stories about us running off together and last time I got mad at him he practically wrote me an essay on why I’m great and things like that and he cries when I cry and he is really sweet I just dont mention that a lot on here because I ask questions when I have a problem not when life is great I dont question that kind of thing I just accept it

playthebanjo's avatar

tell him that you demand he marry you RIGHT NOW. When he freaks out on you, relent and say that instead of marriage he could buy you a necklace or something.

nighttripper's avatar

playthebanjo – lol I even freaked out a bit when I read that

wizard's avatar

It seems impossible to chill with this dude, can you see yourself with him 10 years later?

Seesul's avatar

It’s actually very simple, if he cares enough, he’ll do it on his own, that’s what a gift is, anyway. If he doesn’t, it’s a clear message that you should be able to figure out. You can’t buy someone’s affection, nor can you ask them to buy yours.

What you should be concerned about more is how he treats you in general, whether he gives more than takes and if he is concerned about your well being. If he doesn’t care about that, he never will be and all the gifts in the world won’t matter.

Personally, I’d rather have the squirrel-type gift that del got, totally unexpected, but really thoughtful and caring.

Fantasy won’t help you in dealing with real life, it’s a great way to manipulate people.

May I also suggest that you find someone at school that is willing to sit down with you and show you how not to write run-on sentences. It’s a skill that you shouldn’t leave High School without. It will help you in communicating with other people and you might be able to sort out your complex world a bit better.

nighttripper's avatar

Why do you think it would be impossible to chill with him? I think he’s awesome he takes me to all these cool places like we hiked up onto this rock mountain thing once when we were first going out and you could like see the whole world from up there it was awesome I love doing stuff like that with him I can’t do it with anyone else I know

wizard's avatar

@seesul, there’s another run-on.
@nighttripper, he seems like a really cool guy and all, but he’s just not the boyfriend/husband type. You need to find someone who is mature enough to handle the types of things that can happen in a relationship. But this guy seems like he will be heartbroken for the rest of his life if you two ever separate. I say you should tell him that you guys can be friends, but nothing more. This guy will be more emotionally hurt the longer it lasts.

punkrockworld's avatar

Go look at stores and say ’ Aw that’s so pretty’- and just hope he catches the hint.
I really do hope so, be cute about it.
Boys fall for it but then again, i do not know your bf.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

take him to the jewelry store just to browse and start saying stuff like that would look good on me, what do you think? I’m sure he’ll get the picture.

gailcalled's avatar

And manipulating anyone really backfires in the long run. Please remember that.

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