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minnie19's avatar

Do you always want to be liked by people?

Asked by minnie19 (435points) July 8th, 2012 from iPhone

Do you get upset when someone doesn’t show you his/her compassion?
Lately I realised I want certain guys that know me to like me a lot. Even if I don’t want a relationship, or anything.

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22 Answers

OpryLeigh's avatar

Yes, I put on a front at times but deep down, if I think someone doesn’t like me, it bothers me.

athenasgriffin's avatar

Whenever I like someone I really want them to like me too. In fact, it would be great if everyone could like me. But that is just not reasonable, so I am happy if only the people I seriously admire and respect like me.

And with guys it is a totally different ballpark. I generally want them to find me attractive even if I don’t find them attractive. And guys generally like anyone they find attractive. (Even the ones who say it isn’t so. Some guys will say that so and so is hot, but not interesting or whatever, so they don’t like her. What they mean is so and so is hot, but hasn’t ever talked to them and shows distinct disdain for them, so they don’t like her. But they would still jump at the chance to be with so and so.) This is natural, sadly, our attractiveness as women plays a big role in our self worth, even though it shouldn’t.

marinelife's avatar

I don’t really care anymore. Coming to this point took a lot of work. I like myself so that is enough fro me.

CWOTUS's avatar

It’s my factory default setting, but I can change it when I need to.

Sunny2's avatar

I prefer that, yes, as opposed to not liking me. However, I know that’s not realistic. It doesn’t bother me a lot, (sob) if they don’t.

gailcalled's avatar

I spent years wanting everyone to like me, knowing it was impossible and silly. Therapy helped me unravel the issues, and now I am very content and no longer broody.

stardust's avatar

No. I like myself and that’s more valuable to me than wanting others to like me.

Berserker's avatar

Not particularly. Although if I think someone dislikes me, it might bother me, but not enough to ruin my life or anything.

Coloma's avatar

No, I have never been a slave to others opinions of me. You don’t have to like me, but you do have to respect me, and vice versa.
People pleasing and not allowing your self esteem to be effected by others is some really important self development work if you don’t want to be emotionally controlled by every person in your life.

Relationships and people are like food, not everyone likes onions or pickles or hot dogs or chocolate and, most importantly, who SAYS everyone HAS to?

janbb's avatar

I’ve come so far as to feel I don’t really want anyone to dislike me but everyone doesn’t have to fall at my feet – at least not all of the time.

flutherother's avatar

I would hope that people I admire and respect like me. Those I don’t trust or who seem morally dubious I would rather they kept their distance.

Skyline43's avatar

Generally I don’t want someone to dislike me. I don’t think anyone does. I would rather someone give me a neutral attitude in terms of respect if they don’t know the first thing about me. In the end real friends are the only ones close enough to know the real me, and what that consists of. It’s not something I worry about, I mean we all experience this.

downtide's avatar

I don’t think compassion comes into it for me, but I do want other people to respect me.

Ponderer983's avatar

I could give a flying space monkey’s ass what other people think of me. I have friends and family who love me for me, so I don’t feel the need to be loved by all. if you do, great, if not, I’ll live.

Aethelwine's avatar

When I was younger I felt like something was wrong with me if others didn’t like me. There was no question I was a people pleaser. I’ve slowly grown out of that phase and have realized that the people who don’t like me are people I’d rather not have in my life anyway.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Only by a few. The rest can kiss my ass.

Paradox25's avatar

When I was younger it used to bother me if somebody didn’t respond well to me, and even more so when I wasn’t sure why. Now that I’m a bit older I’ve come to realize that I don’t owe it to anybody to get them to like me, for they either do or they don’t. No single person is better than anybody else, so that’s their problem if they don’t like me, not mine.

YARNLADY's avatar

I would like to be very popular and well liked by everyone I meet.

fluthernutter's avatar

I prefer to be liked by people I like and disliked by people I dislike.
Being liked by people I dislike tends to make me perplexed, annoyed and/or guilty.

It’s nice when feelings are mutual.

snapdragon24's avatar

I take it as a compliment when someone dislikes me or potentially hates me. It means you got to them ;) meanwhile, I get enough love in my life not to care about those who dislike me and have nothing to offer.

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