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ETpro's avatar

Should we eat unicorn meat?

Asked by ETpro (34594points) July 11th, 2012

You actually can buy canned Unicorn Meat. Would you order it? Would you eat it, or just put it on display?

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20 Answers

chyna's avatar

No, I wouldn’t eat it. Unicorns are magical and to eat the meat of a unicorn would doom you forever into a world with no magic.

talljasperman's avatar

No… but I would get a DNA sample and bring the Unicorns back to life Jurassic Park style.

bkcunningham's avatar

I already poop rainbows so I’d have to say nope.

Trillian's avatar

Everytime someone takes a bite of Unicorn meat, the wings get ripped violently off a fairy’s back.
So no.

mazingerz88's avatar

Well, is it lean meat? Plus, I want the horn as backscratcher.

ucme's avatar

I hear it’s an aphrodisiac, gets you horny ;¬}

thebluewaffle's avatar

@ucme Terribleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haha!

ucme's avatar

@thebluewaffle Oh fuck yeah, but the oppurtunity was there & I took it.

ragingloli's avatar

it is a tooth, not a horn

ucme's avatar

Yes & rhino horn is made of keratin, the same type of protein that makes up hair & finger nails…....but I still don’t give a fuck.

flutherother's avatar

Vegetarians would say we should eat no other kind.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Only if it is Kosher or Hallal. It has to be killed humanely and be painless to the animal.

blueiiznh's avatar

Ironically I almost bought a can at Newbury Comics last week.
The proteins are incredible and the magical powers afterwards can be somewhat alikened to an acid test.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

You may partake of unicorn urine; it fills you full of rainbows and gives you good luck for 3 years. Ingesting unicorn meant, thereby partaking of the unicorn’s blood…. well… you don’t what to know what happens.

Berserker's avatar

Lol wtf. I’d buy that, that’s a cool looking can! And it doesn’t have those damn annoying keys that actual spam does. Man, I swear those were designed by Michael Myers.

Coloma's avatar

Only if it has hallucinogenic properties and the unicorns are free range not factory farmed.

Trillian's avatar

I hear Unicorn patties are great hallucinogens if you dry them properly and smoke them in water bongs.

ETpro's avatar

@chyna Apparently not quite magical enough to avoid getting canned. :-)

@talljasperman Now that’s a great answer. I am all for that idea.

@bkcunningham Yes, I shudder to even think what you’d poop on a steady diet of canned unicorn meat. You’d be the heart-throb of every scat freak on the planet.

@Trillian So are Fairy Franks the next big thing?

@mazingerz88 I am so glad you asked. It isn’t what you might think. These Unicorns volunteer for this duty at the end of their natural lives. And the meat, while it does contain fats, is filled with the polyunsaturated variety that lowers cholesterol. Read about it here

@ucme From the label, “Crunchy horn bits in every bite – an excellent source of Calcium.” Also a great source of sparkles, and you know how they get the lads horny.

@thebluewaffle Unforgivably so, don’t you think?

@ragingloli A tooth. You mean unicorns fon’t graze through their brains? Say it isn’t so. (and you’d be right, you know).

@ucme Always the opportunistic feeder, hey?

@ucme But, but… What’s the point of eating stuff to get you horny if you, ”...still don’t give a fuck”?

@flutherother You know, I believe they would heartily aprove of carnivores eating what’s actually in that can. And it is very high in dietary fiber.

@elbanditoroso Oh not to worry. Unicorns from all over the world magically migrate to County Meath, Ireland where the Sisters of the Radiant Farms nurse them through their dying days, then send them out to spread the magic.

@blueiiznh An acid test indeed. People on acid would be sure to buy unicorn meat. :-)

@WillWorkForChocolate So when do the bottles reach a store near me?

@Symbeline No need for any annoying key, since this is a can you don’t really want to open. Unless, of course, Michael Meyers is coming to dinner.

@Coloma As you will see in the link above all Unicorns are free range till their last days when the sisters at the Radiant Farms prepare them for their destiny.

@Trillian True, but my recommendation is smoking over mesquite coals.

blueiiznh's avatar

I am very glad that unicorns could not tell time and missed Noah’s Ark.

ETpro's avatar

@blueiiznh Thanks! They did what they had to do to end getting to 2012 and getting canned.

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