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this_velvet_glove's avatar

If you could meet any fictional character, who would it be?

Asked by this_velvet_glove (1142points) July 13th, 2012

And what would you tell them?

(Sorry if this question has been asked before)

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33 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

I would meet God and put him on trial for crimes against humanity.

bookish1's avatar

Wow, great question, and this is really tough….

I am going to come up with so many better answers after I post this, but the first one that comes to mind is Jay Gatsby. I would make friends with him before the shit hit the fan, and I would tell him that Daisy Buchanan is a shallow worthless bitch. Not like it would have helped anything, ya know, but it would make me feel better.

talljasperman's avatar

Professor X and ask for help running a Sanctuary.

zensky's avatar

The Shadow and The Phantom – my childhood pulp fiction heroes.

ucme's avatar

Daphne Blake from Scooby Doo fame, then I would hump her animated brains out, if she’d let me.

this_velvet_glove's avatar

Time to answer my question, I think :p

Holden from The Catcher In The Rye (used to have a crush on him two years ago, when I was 13).
Tarzan (as a child I wanted to be him, and now that I watched the movie again I’m like ’‘wow’’).
Mia from Pulp Fiction (don’t ask me why).

Sunny2's avatar

Phineas Fogg, if he’d take me along on his trip around the world.

elbanditoroso's avatar

it’s tempting to say Nabokov’s Lolita…..

keobooks's avatar

My inner child wants to meed Charles Wallace from a Wrinkle in Time. For some reason as a kid, he totally fascinated me and I’d love to hear about what it was like to be taken over by IT.

I’d also like to meet Thomas from Sherman Alexi’s “The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven.” He told the best stories and seemed to be a lot of fun. Though I’m told by a lot of people he basically IS Sherman Alexi…so maybe that could be arranged.

this_velvet_glove's avatar

@elbanditoroso A friend of mine calls me Lo, ha ha :p

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

There are so many, but I’ll start with Captain Jack Sparrow, simply because he’s fascinating, hilarious, and he looks exactly like Johnny Depp.

janbb's avatar

Mr. Darcy – and Iwould ask him if he loves me.

Nullo's avatar

One of Heinlein’s “Competent Man” stock characters. Maybe the Space Cadet, now in his middle years and probably running something. Or Manuel Garcia O’Kelly-Davis, one of the founders of Free State Luna.

gailcalled's avatar

MIlo here; This gorgeous lady in the Fancy Feast Commercials.

elbanditoroso's avatar

@gailcalled – however if you watched the entire ad, you would see that the lady put her cat’s food in a fancy white porcelain ramikin and served it on a tray with a single flower.

So while she may be a beautiful woman, she is way too cat obsessed and her husband is clearly being treated like dirt. Looks aren’t everything, and she went way down in my estimation.

ragingloli's avatar

“So while she may be a beautiful woman, she is way too cat obsessed and her husband is clearly being treated like dirt. ”
That is a big plus in my book.

gailcalled's avatar

@elbanditoroso: MIlo here: I was referring to the gorgeous white Persian cat, silly.

Nullo's avatar

Captain Nemo! The coolest guy in my childhood lineup of cool people.

@ragingloli On whose authority? God certainly won’t accept yours. Anyway, this is about fictional people.

ragingloli's avatar

On the authority of all of humanity.

mazingerz88's avatar

Jonathan Harker, Van Helsing and Dracula’s sexy female castle vamps! I may need some garlic and wooden stake on standby during the meeting.

basstrom188's avatar

Some person who doesn’t quite fit in, such as Inspector Morse or Kurt Wallander

stardust's avatar

Heathcliff…I’d ask him why he’s such a w****r!

Earthgirl's avatar

Augie March….oh how I would love to make love to him…

“External life being so mighty, the instruments so huge and terrible, the performances so great, the thoughts so great and threatening, you produce a someone who can exist before it. You invent a man who can stand before the terrible appearances. This way he can’t get justice and he can’t give justice, but he can live. And this is what mere humanity always does. It’s made up of these inventors or artists, millions and millions of them, each in his own way trying to recruit other people to play a supporting role and sustain him in his make-believe… That’s the struggle of humanity, to recruit others to your version of what’s real.”
― Saul Bellow, The Adventures of Augie March

Nullo's avatar

@ragingloli Keep in mind that only a handful of people, relatively, have a beef with God. Though a lot of them have the wrong god.
How do you think that would go, anyway? You’d stride haughtily into the presence of God Almighty, Creator of all, the ultimate Judge, definer of Right and Wrong, and – I’m assuming that your brain wouldn’t overload – gripe at Him, and He’d say… what?
How would you enforce any kind of sentence, anyway? This is an omnipotent, infallible Being. He certainly isn’t going to defer to your judgment.

ragingloli's avatar

I certainly would not call a being that was unable to defeat iron chariots “omnipotent” or “infallible”.

AngryWhiteMale's avatar

Hard to summon up characters on the spot! I suspect I’d love to chat with more than a few… I know I’d love to meet Si Morley from Jack Finney’s Time and Again. Not sure what we would discuss, though.

Lord Peter Wimsey (from Dorothy Sayers’ books) might be fun for a dinner party, I suppose. As a historian, I’d possibly like to meet Marius, from Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles; even though he really lived just at night, Marius has seen and experienced so much over time, it’d be great to hear some of what it was like.

Nullo's avatar

@ragingloli Perhaps you could refer me to the part where God squares off against charioteers, and loses? I don’t seem to recall that part.

ragingloli's avatar

Judges 1:19
Now imagine how utterly he would lose if humans showed up with tanks, jets, bombers, helis, drones, artillery, cruise missiles, and icbms.

Nullo's avatar

Wesley’s commentary suggests that, “Because of their unbelief, whereby they distrusted God’s power to destroy those who had chariots of iron, and so gave way to their own fear and sloth, whereby God was provoked to withdraw his helping hand.”

ragingloli's avatar

Yeah, I have already read some of those baseless excuses.

basstrom188's avatar

Pepes isn’t this getting a little bit off subject? Surely the questioner is referring to actual fiction not what some of you perceive as fiction.

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