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serenityNOW's avatar

If you've ever been stuck in life, how did you pick yourself up?

Asked by serenityNOW (3631points) July 14th, 2012

That’s it. I’m done for. I’m losing it…

Well, here’s my dilemma: I’m emotionally bottoming out. Working with the Developmentally Disabled is sucking the life out of me. I’m working overnight shifts, double-shifts and trying my best. The problem I’m seeing is, this is a small operation. It’s family run. Gossip runs along like wild-fire, and I’m hearing all sorts of stuff about me, and it really hurts. But, I’m stuck. Adversity is kicking me in the ass. (Strangely enough, working with the individual’s themselves is delightful, management is just awful.)

I need to work; I’m putting feelers out on Craigs List for web design jobs, and I can try another DD organization, but I don’t want to do something rash. So…

Getting back to my question: how’d y’all do it? How’d you make it through? Doesn’t have to be job related; I just want some tactics… Thanks all!

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7 Answers

_Whitetigress's avatar

I would recommend staying as strong as possible. Put on some thick skin but make the effort to look for another place to work. A work environment doesn’t have to be one where you feel scrutinized. Remember one step at a time and write everything down so it’s not all jumbled up in your mind. Typically when we lose focus as to wear the parts fit, that’s when we go insane. One step at a time, write these goals down.
Be persistent. People and even you yourself might doubt yourself, but be persistent. I’ve fallen down many times. I’ve suffered poor health because of it. Somedays I feel so low that I just don’t understand what’s going on around me. Usually a nap will do and then I change the outlook on my life. Imagine that we only have one life to live, and that you want to struggle and strive for the most positive outcome possible. We’re like salmon. Swimming up against the current.

talljasperman's avatar

I moved home with parents and asked my doctor about going on disability for a while. I sleep when I am tired, I drink clean tap water, I eat healthy and add the occasional burger. I put all my money into caring for myself. Food first, rent second, everything else third. I don’t drink or smoke, and I avoid caring for things that don’t help me care for myself. I accept myself and others as best I can, and I try diplomacy in conflict over abuse and violence. I learn when to walk away and to say no.

serenityNOW's avatar

@talljasperman – I’ve been considering disability, but I haven’t a clue where to begin. (I’m gonna work on that.) I’d like to just convalesce for awhile, but I’m scared it won’t pay the bills. Thanks for your response. I just feel pulverized. Goddamn, my mood just hit a brick wall. I really hope my doctor is free on Monday.

@Whitetigress – I know, I know. I’ve always been a strong proponent of ask “as-if” (act as if you’re fine), and/or, “fake-it-till-you-make-it”, and I’ll try to work on that tonight.

talljasperman's avatar

@talljasperman My disability didn’t pay the bills or my student loans but I refused to pay them I negotiated rent with my mom to be deferred for a long time. I stopped paying for anything other than simple food and nothing else… eventually I realized how much money I was wasting on things I didn’t really care about as much as my health… now the little bit of money I have goes much further and I even got an increase when everyone else did… money was tight then, now with my disability checks I have full cable, high speed internet, home cooked food, I pay all the rent and utilities and I can eat fast food burgers every so often and I still save a little for emergency’s… I could use more money and I provide my services and anything anyone wants for free at my own pace. I’ve even written a movie in exchange for a blueberry pie and for my name not to be in the credits, and I get free books from the library. I’m happy this was the best thing I ever did in my life… and one day I might even allow my name to be put in the credits and I might take some money and start getting off disability.

DigitalBlue's avatar

Contrary to what @_Whitetigress suggested, I would say don’t try to be as strong as possible. Worry about you. Take care of you. Only take on what you know you can handle, and shift your focus onto relieving your stress, hashing out your priorities, figuring out what is really necessary for you to be healthy and well, and eliminate as many negatives as possible.
I can’t say that it is necessarily the “right” advice, but I know that I did the whole ‘buck up and push through and you will come out on the other side’ thing, and where I ended up was in a miserable hole and I’m still climbing back out. I feel that if I had taken the time to listen to my body, to listen to my heart and my mind, I would have taken a step back and taken care of me and what I needed before I completely fell apart. I think it would have made things much easier if I had prevented the huge fall out, rather than trying to put the pieces back together afterward.

bookish1's avatar

That’s really rough, that the actual work you do for your job is fulfilling but the management is unbearable.

I am seconding what @DigitalBlue says. How can you fake being strong if you don’t feel strong? It’s not a personal failure to be in pain, to feel ‘pulverized’ as you said. I’m glad to hear you are putting out feelers for another job.

In the meantime, what is your support network like? Do you have friends/family IRL that you can hang out with to rant to, to cheer you up, or or who can help get your mind off your woes? I’ve been seriously stuck before and I don’t think I could have made it out without the help and emotional support of friends and mentors.

Best of luck, and please be as kind to yourself as you can.

Bellatrix's avatar

You sound as though you may be suffering from depression. Can you go and talk to your doctor? I agree with @bookish1 about drawing on your support network too. I remember an earlier question and I do think you should talk to your parents. Just having people to talk to can really help. I know you need your job but if you can find something else, even if it doesn’t pay so much, would be healthier for your mental health.

When I have felt overwhelmed by my circumstances just doing small positive things has helped. Make sure you get some exercise each day – even a short walk. If you get a lunch break, take your lunch to the park or somewhere with trees and/or a view. It makes you feel better to be surrounded by nature. Get your resume in order. If you have contacts in your field, let them know you are looking. Make some time to do something for yourself every day. Even if it’s only reading a book, or watching a film that makes you feel a bit more positive. Little steps can make a big difference.

And keep talking to us here. We care about how you are doing, so keep updating us.

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