Social Question

janbb's avatar

If a friend told you <Band> that you both like is playing at such and such a place/time, would you assume they were asking you to go?

Asked by janbb (57170points) July 23rd, 2012

It’s a guy friend but we’re not dating. I could ask him but I’m just curious about some others’ opinions. What do you think?

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35 Answers

LuckyGuy's avatar

I’d take it as a very gentle way of approaching the subject of maybe going together. You are free to bring up the subject without looking pushy. “Hey I’ve been thinking about that concert. I haven’t been to one in years. I’d like to go but don’t really want to go by myself. Would you be interested? We could drive together.”

filmfann's avatar

I am very unassuming. I would tell him that I want to go, and then ask him if he has a spare ticket.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I wouldn’t assume from that conversation he is asking you to go, but I think he is offering you an opening. Maybe follow up with asking if he’s going, and then asking if you could ride with him. Then just play it by ear.

janbb's avatar

Thanks guys – that’s kind of where I was going with it.

Trillian's avatar

Could be a beginning. Testing the waters, so to speak. Keep us posted. Who is the band? (Just curious)

SavoirFaire's avatar

I would assume that it was a gesture towards going to the concert together, but not an invite along the lines of “I’ll buy us some tickets and drive.” It’s the same way I might ask a friend if he’s interested in seeing a movie. I’m not offering anything but company.

gailcalled's avatar

You are a tactful person so simply ask him whether he’d like company. Be prepared to not be offended if he says “no.”

janbb's avatar

It’s just a local free thing; we’ve done this kind of thing before. Just was looking for some feedback.

gailcalled's avatar

Keep it really casual and if he says “No,” you say, “Great. Maybe another time. Have fun.”

marinelife's avatar

I would remember what they say about assume (it makes an ass of u and me).

SABOTEUR's avatar

Maybe it’s an age thing with me, but at some point in life you come to the realization that assuming anything is an invitation to get your feelings hurt.

So, no…I wouldn’t assume my friend was asking me to go. Far easier to just ask my friend if he (or she) wanted me to go.

wundayatta's avatar

I think it depends on context. It’s a sorta kinda opening gambit. Although unless he says, “wanna go,” it wouldn’t be explicit. But then, I assume you’re in a situation where you could lightly ask, “Is that an invitation?”

Shippy's avatar

Yes, or why else did he mention it, unless it was relevant to a certain topic.

janbb's avatar

Well, it was in the middle of IMing and one thing I hate about IMing – although generally it’s lots of fun – is that you are sometimes typing at the same time and at cross purposes. So I didn’t follow it up right away and later wrote, “Oh. Cool.”

I feel a little silly to be asking this question and actually have asked to have it pulled. What is it about being single that makes one so adolescent?

gailcalled's avatar

Give it a little more time, ask fluther for more advice and watch how Bob’s your uncle.

Shippy's avatar

@janbb I love that silly feeling, haven’t had it for ages!

janbb's avatar

Bob’s my uncle??

janbb's avatar

@Shippy there is something to be said in that.

gailcalled's avatar

@janbb: Uncle Bob says that you’ll be all set in a few months.

janbb's avatar

@gailcalled And back to wearing my old lady shoes?

gailcalled's avatar

If the shoe fits and your arches can stand it, wear the stilettos.

janbb's avatar

Hiking boots are more my style.

creative1's avatar

Sounds like he’s testing the waters and see if you would be interested in going

janbb's avatar

Here’s how it went down:

She: Are you going to the <Band> concert on Thursday night?

He: Yes. Would you like to come?

Easy-peasy in the end!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Fuckin hey. I love that. You go girl.

janbb's avatar

Well, he is just a friend…..

gailcalled's avatar

@janbb: Dr. Freud here; And vat haf ve learned vrom dis experience, Frau B?

janbb's avatar

Trust your gut and be direct, but not aggressive?

And serve really well made salmon for supper?

gailcalled's avatar

How did the miso work?

janbb's avatar

Excellent – miso, brown sugar and soy sauce glaze on broiled salmon. It was delish with oven roasted red baby potatoes and asparagus.

gailcalled's avatar

Ooh. What about dessert?

janbb's avatar

We went to our favorite ice cream parlor.

gailcalled's avatar

Did you wear the f*ck-me stilettos or the sh*t-kicker hiking boots?

janbb's avatar

Mephisto sandals

gailcalled's avatar

A good compromise…clomp clomp.

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