General Question

sez454's avatar

Do guys like tomboys or girly girls?

Asked by sez454 (15points) June 3rd, 2008

I’m a girl. Four out of Five of my best friends are guys and they joke around and call me a man or “one of the guys”. I guess I like it, I was a bit of a tomboy when I was little, I hate bitching and I dunno I just generally like hanging around guys better than girls. I was wondering though, do guys like these kinds of girls better? Or do they like the girly girls who they have to tell they’re beautiful all the time and who get scared and need reassurance and to be sent flowers and who wear make up and all that other stuff. I know I’m being very general but I was just wondering if there was some kind of consensus with guys or if it’s just random or what.

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48 Answers

sndfreQ's avatar

I think girls who are comfortable in their own skin are the most attractive to me; I find that a girl who feels equally comfortable in little/no makeup, then enjoys dressing up when the occasion calls for it is a most attractive quality.

shineyshark's avatar

Boys don’t like tomboys, but you don’t sound like a tomboy. You sound like a girl who loves men. That is very normal. A tomboy is a girl who does all kinds of manly things like lifting weights, working like men and stuff. Boys like girly girls but most of them hate girls who are bitchy and who care too much about their looks. Boys consider such girls as sluts and they tend to stay away from them. They only like them from a sexual point of view. Once you get a boyfriend thought, many boys will not like their girl to roam around with other guys. This is from the security point of view. Sorry if I sounded rude by the way..

richardhenry's avatar

I find myself most attracted to the girls who think of themselves as girly girls, but don’t need to spend a million hours getting ready for something and that can catch a spider in a glass and throw it outside without screaming hysterically.

Also; hanging out with guys doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with being a ‘tomboy’. I have a best girl mate who hates hanging out with girls, claiming that “guys are simpler” and that her “friends fall out with each other too much.” (She is actually the ‘million hours’, ‘screaming at spiders’ girl that I complain about above… although I do adore her.)

sez454's avatar

I’m sorry, I suppose I didn’t really use ‘tomboy’ in the right way, I was just looking for a term to sort of sum it up, to compare ‘girly girl’ with, which isn’t a great term either haha.

sez454's avatar

@shineyshark, I know guys can be insecure but I find it very annoying when boyfriends get jealous of best friends. Can you explain to me why boys are so worried when girls are with other guys? Why can’t they just trust their girlfriend and understand that her friends were there before the boyfriend and she just can’t see them as anything other than friends? I’m sorry if I come across rude I’d just like to understand :P

DeezerQueue's avatar

In addition to what richardhenry says, they want to be with their best friends, but this best friend should also show signs of being the opposite sex, apply this logic to heterosexuals, of course.

wildflower's avatar

I honestly think very few girls are either/or.

Most that I know – including myself – are a mix. I like to do DIY and find blokes much easier to get along with (like richardhenry’s friend does), but I am obsessed with shoes and nail varnish and spend min. half hour getting ready (post-shower) every morning…...

shineyshark's avatar

Sez, the problem is that men and women can never be true friends cause one day or the other nature takes its toll. Most men look at girls only from the sexual point of view and this is what gets them concerned when they see their girl with other guys. For them, the other guys are simply hanging around to finally get to their objective, which is to have sex with the girl. I am sorry if this sounds rude, but this is what most guys think and this is why they get so insecure to see their girl getting too close to other guys.

richardhenry's avatar

@sez454: Okay, let’s pretend I’m your boyfriend. I’m going to spend most of the week hanging around with four other girls. Is that not weird to you?

shineyshark's avatar

Nice observation Richard

sez454's avatar

Thankyou for that insight shineyshark, I will have to keep that in mind. It’s just that it isn’t nice to be thought of as a sexual possession or whatever, and also the last boyfriend I had was very.. ‘clingy’ i suppose the word is, and when I wasn’t at school, playing sports or with my family I was with him. I had no time to see my friends outside of school and i didn’t realise what was happening until it was too late and I still haven’t really got back in perfect click with my friends since then because I shut them out. Even when I did stuff with my family my boyfriend would get annoyed and make me feel guilty for not being able to see him.

Another thing I hate is when you are very good friends with a guy and then everyone assumes that you like him, why can’t you just be friends with a guy without liking him?

@richardhenry. I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t shut me out as well, if you told me who they were and what you were doing (like i’m not drilling you for info but you know, basic things) and if you were to just tell me without being sneaky or evasive. I hope anyway, I suppose I wouldnt’ know unless it happened.

Vincentt's avatar

You know, not all men like the same women.

I’m sure there are guys who like “tomboys”, and there are probably guys who like girly girls, and there are plently of guys who like other type of girls, or are not attracted to girls at all. Everybody’s different.

sez454's avatar

I know vincentt, I did acknowledge that I was being general but I just wanted to see if anyone had anything to say on the matter :)

Vincentt's avatar

Oh, you mean more like “do you like tomboys or girly girls”?

In that case, I’d go for a nice in-between :)

sez454's avatar

Haha, yes that probably would have been a better way to put it, sorry about that. Thanks for your input :)

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

I don’t know about guys, but this girly-girl likes all kinds of girls, but other girly-girls seem to get my attention first!

iwamoto's avatar

not sure what i’d go for, wel, definetly not the girly girl, had one of those…ugh, so shallow, i could write a small novel about it, then again, i wouldn’t want a girl that’s totally down with it, so to say, so like vince, a bit in between would be good, i mean, i want her to be girly enough to give it a proper shave down there, but no 30 minute bathroom rituals every morning…

but who am i kidding, i should be glad with every girl i can get, haha

Maverick's avatar

Well, your question is loaded with broad, sweeping generalizations so the answer is too – Men like women (full stop. Period). Its really that simple. Given the choice between being alone or hanging out with a girl they don’t even like that much, 99% of the time they will hang out with that girl. So, I don’t think it matters a great deal what “type” of woman you are. Rest assurred, there is a male that will want your company.

Randy's avatar

BOTH! A good combination of the two is pretty awesome.

sez454's avatar

@Maverick, I have already pointed out that I did indeed mention that I knew I was being very general. I just wanted to see what people would say. And I don’t think I will rest assured knowing that they are only hanging out with me because they don’t want to be alone.

Vincentt's avatar

@Maverick – well, even “men like women” isn’t entirely correct, right? :)

atr408's avatar

I dont like 100% tomboys. I like girly girls but if they have some boyish intrests like skateboarding or football its even better

exek1's avatar

I agree with atr408…...

I don’t like girls that wear to much make up,
they look like clowns.

wizard's avatar

I like girly girls. They make me feel manly.

Zaku's avatar

“Do guys like tomboys or girly girls?”
– I don’t think this is a particularly useful axis to look at.

”... do guys like these kinds of girls better?”
– Well they relate to you much more easily, which they tend to like.

“Or do they like the girly girls who they have to tell they’re beautiful all the time and who get scared and need reassurance and to be sent flowers and who wear make up and all that other stuff.”
– I don’t think most guys like to have to tell women they’re beautiful all the time, nor do I think many women are attracted to men who say that all the time. Nor are many men or women attracted to needy partners except as an easy access to get something or a way of getting into a dependent relationship, which is another story (one might hope). I think most straight men barely know makeup when they see it but most like “pretty” girls (though for example, I find many women very beautiful with little or no makeup).

”... if there was some kind of consensus with guys or if it’s just random or what.”
– Well it is random but there are trends, though a meaningless axis/question gives meaningless results. If you want to aim for the most populous group (which I doubt you really do) I’d say more men tend to appreciate feminine women especially in an animal/innate way more than in a cultural way.

But that’s all over-thinking for practical purposes.

Just be yourself well and openly, and people who appreciate you will show up.

Maverick's avatar

as I said, its a generalized response to a generalized question. However, even gay men still enjoy female company, albeit for different reasons, but the generalization also applies to them. The moral of the story was supposed to be – just be yourself and don’t worry about what might make you more “popular”.

sez454's avatar

I am happy with who I am I’m not trying to change and I’m not worried about being popular, I love the friends I’ve got I was just wondering! Thanks for the helpful inputs. I know it was a vague question but at least some people tried.

breedmitch's avatar

I like tomgirls and girlie boys. :)

Trance24's avatar

I think part of it has to do with the guy. Like Im not a full blown tom boy but I am NOT a girlie girl. I don’t like girlie girls all that much, and have more guy friends then girls myself. I think guys like a girl that is a little in between. You know they are tough and enjoy getting dirty, but at the same time they can be sexy and funny. I don’t think many guys go for the overly dressed gaudy girls who play dumb. Just like they probably don’t want a girl that looks and acts just like them. So yea right in the middle works.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

i like strong, confident and independent women.

iCeskate's avatar

you can hang with guys and be a girly girl just dress nice and always look cut but you don’t have to be bitchy and still keep your guy friends

edmartin101's avatar

I don’t like extremes, that is 100% tomboys nor 100% girly girls (gg). I like them in between like Trance24. Although I prefer confident girls, I also like girls who allow their man to lead. Usually over confident girls will step on anybody who is in front of them, including their bf. On the other hand a super gg will just want to look gorgeous and always want to wear the latest fashion, these are the expensive girls who won’t settle for less than a sugar daddy. Middle of the road girls have their head on their shoulders not just to hold their hair, but can actually think for themselves…..bravo!!!

Guys who aren’t confident their gf to have other male friends have a trust problem. I’ve seen girls are more mature in this area than us, guys. Hey, if we think our girl is gonna fuck up with our friends, she actually has plenty of time to do it since we are not looking after them 24/7, plus girls can come up with stories better than men can. we got to remember girls have the sixth sense we, guys don’t have. So girls can find out more about us than we can find out about them.

I like to set things clear from the beginning with my girl if I really want to keep her,if I think she is who I want to spend my life with. Most gg are just way to easy to catch, so are not worth it to me. I also like to have female friends who like to hang around with guys like me, we really have interesting conversations. I hate gossips gg are all interested in.

Trance24's avatar

@edmartin101 well said, + great answer. =]

stephen's avatar

different guys have different standard to that.

edmartin101's avatar

@stephen We are all different, unique in a sense and this makes life more exciting although challenging as well. Life gives and takes based on who we are, what we represent, our opinions and attitudes on things and so on. Is ok to be different, so maybe I am the black sheep among all of you, but I feel good, that’s all it matters

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

all guys are different

charliecompany34's avatar

ever see the movie “love and basketball?”

edmartin101's avatar

@charliecompany34 What is that movie about? Is it a about how women fall in love with basketball players?

MissAnthrope's avatar

I’m a tomboy and I can say from a lifetime’s experience than most guys are not attracted to tomboys. It seems that tomboys fit into some weird limbo category, but guys are more likely to lump me in with the guys than the girls. It’s actually like being invisible most of the time, which hurts a bit because I have plenty of awesome traits and I’m not unattractive, but whatever. I try to accept it.

Guys are funny things. As someone mentioned above, they like feeling manly and I think tomboys just kind of throw them off, since we’re not in the “girly girl” category. Also, they’re very visual creatures, so all the female trappings and excessive femininity turn them on. Obviously this is a generalization, but that has been my observation. Notice that you will rarely, if ever, find a hot guy with an unattractive woman. It just doesn’t happen! Whereas you find gorgeous women with total schlubs ALL THE TIME.

It’s a good thing I’m gay, I guess.. women are a lot more forgiving about looks and place a bigger emphasis on personality.

Tone's avatar

It’s not a vague question, it’s just a question of personal opinion. There’s no objective answer. The only real answer is, “some like one, some like the other, some like both, some like neither.” It’s completely subjective in every way. One thing that’s pretty much guaranteed, if you try to be what you think other people like, you probably won’t be happy. People have varied tastes in all things. Be yourself and find someone who likes you for that.

Poser's avatar

My GF is the only girl among seven brothers, so she is very comfortable in the “man world.” She likes dark beer. She’s a bigger football fan than I am. She cusses like a sailor. She hates chick flicks. But she also likes champaign, shopping, jewelry, clothes, shoes and flowers. She really is the best of both worlds. I’m a lucky guy.

ronski's avatar

So, it’s funny because I have a close friend who is similar to you: she hangs out with mostly guys, in fact, strangely…I’m her only girl friend. She has been in two serious relationships in the past 6 or 7 years, and we’re young, only 24, but the point is that both guys have had issues with her hanging out with her “friends”.

It’s not that I don’t think they aren’t her real friends, but it’s just that most guys do have other objectives and that girls who hang out with a lot of guys pretend or eagerly ignore this. I think guys like girls that they have stuff in common with, but they also like girls that are secure about themselves. I found that my friend doesn’t hang out with guys all the time because she just loves guys, like she says, but because she needs the attention. If you need the attention from four guys, you’re probably not going to do well getting it from one guy. You are saying that girls who need flowers and wear make-up are insecure, which like you said is very general, but may have nothing to do with insecurity at all like you think. They actually might be much more secure than you.

I enjoy the intimacy and security of a relationship, and will forfeit hanging out with other men for this. My boyfriend is awesome, and most of the guys my friend hangs out with are worthless in my opinion. Yes, maybe some guys like tomboys, but most of them don’t. Anyway you look at it, it depends on what kind of guy you’re trying to attract. In my opinion the good ones are going to want someone who’s not a tomboy and feels secure about being around other women.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Who says tomboys aren’t secure being around other women? I’ve always been a tomboy and I prefer the company of women. Some people are tomboyish because that’s how they’re most comfortable.

ronski's avatar

@AlenaD Sorry if I worded that wrongly, I’m sure there are tomboys who are secure about being around many women. Anyhow, what I was really saying was that someone who is straight and hangs out with only men, may be insecure about the competition of other women.

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likipie's avatar

@shineyshark Who’s to say guys don’t like tomboys? I know a lot of guys who prefer tomboys over girly girls for many reasons. You can’t possibly say that without it being inaccurate.

tpzlol's avatar

For ONS i prefer girly girls because it’s harder for me to emotionally connect with them but nearly every crush and girlfriend i ever had in my 22 year long life was a tomboy. But to be fair i must say there’s one condition: a really cute face, if she doesn’t have one I’ll probably never have feelings for her.

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