General Question

robotmonkeyarm's avatar

Are ALL girls attracted to "bad boys"?

Asked by robotmonkeyarm (151points) September 3rd, 2012 from iPhone

I think generally that it is true, both psychologically and biologically, that girls are naturally attracted to “bad boys” (I think most of us know what bad boys are), but what are some of the variables?

Could upbringing, religion, or morals override what is biologically wired (meaning a female’s chemical drive to mate with the alpha male), or is it a drive that is near impossible to overcome, much like man’s constant drive for sex (women have it too, but I believe the drive for sex is more intuitive in men, whereas with women it is closer to finding the best mate to reproduce with.)

If they exist, what are the exceptions to this; and if not, why?

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33 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Probably not. How can you verfify data for “all girls,” anyway.

Who says that the alpha male in the tribe is a bad boy, and what exactly is a bad boy?

Mariah's avatar


Any sentence you can possibly think of that includes the phrase “all girls” isn’t true.

Sunny2's avatar

Not this girl. But I don’t agree with your basic premise. Give me a good intelligent guy with a sense of humor every time.

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Kardamom's avatar

I don’t think so. It may seem that way if you aren’t one of the bad boys, or you have a hard time attracting girls for whatever reason.

Also girls that hook up with so called “bad boys” probably have more high profile relationships and the trouble and the fallout is amplified for everyone to see.

Nice girls having relationships with nice guys don’t make air time, nor do they get played out on the pages of Facebook.

You will probably never see anything in the news about Bob Newhart and his wife having some sort of crazy, effed up breakup or getting arrested for abuse. But Bob Newhart still has a wife, and his wife was attracted to him and they got married.

It’s only the effed up shenanigans of “bad boys” relationships that you hear about in the news. Like Charlie Sheen.

Most of my 20/30 something cousins are either girls that married nice guys, or they’re guys that are nice guys who are also married to nice girls. I can really only think of one cousin who hooked up with a “bad boy.”

So the answer to your question is no.

Coloma's avatar

Not ALL women/girls are not attracted to bad boys, defined by me as lying, cheating, abusive or otherwise of sleazy character.
There is a big difference in being a confident, strong, alpha type male, and being a raging sociopathic narcissist. Alpha males have integrity, bad boys do not.

THAT is the difference!
SOME women get caught up in unhealthy relationships and end up with what they thought were good guys that go wrong or show their true colors somewhere down the line. Nice men can get caught up with bad girls just as easily.

Character defects are not gender biased.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Do all (blanks) like/do (blank)? No.

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robotmonkeyarm's avatar

Just to clear something up, the title is simply there to generalize my question and be an eye catcher, which it seems to be doing. I clarify further in my question though, and yes it’s ridiculous to assume all females are the same.

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downtide's avatar

[Mod says:] Please remember this is the General section, so try to keep your responses on-topic and civil. Thanks.

linguaphile's avatar

I’m a woman and definitely not attracted to ‘bad boys.’ They’re often overgrown little boys who are stuck in whatever adolescent fantasy they developed around age 12, usually are very self-serving, care little for the woman they’re with beyond what they can get from her, and tend to shift the blame for their actions externally. Regardless of their age, I don’t consider them to be “men.”

Kayak8's avatar

I am a woman and I am not attracted to boys at all . . .

lookingglassx3's avatar

I’m not. The guy I’m attracted to is utterly sweet, sensitive, emotional, kind and a little geeky. He plays everything by the rules. That’s why I love him. :3

wundayatta's avatar

I think this question founders on the lack of definition of what a “bad boy” is. That is, in addition to trying to make a generalization about ALL girls. But really, this question can’t be answered because we have no idea what you mean by bad boy.

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nebule's avatar

On Milo’s account – No I am not attracted to bad boys… but on my own account and I will have to go off in search of that picture… I have mostly definitely been attracted to bad boys… but then a ‘bad boy’ for me would be someone who was confident, stylish, naughty, sexy, powerful, ... probably a bit nonchalant, hard to get…

However, now that I am maturing somewhat…I’m realizing that one can get the best of both worlds… naughty but nice… that is, of course what the fascination is with Mr. Grey… all the best of the bad and good bits… I haven’t found mine yet though :’-(

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katieodowd95's avatar

I disagree entirely. Also I don’t even think it is the “bad boy” persona girls like, I think its the confidence and the charisma, because that is attractive in any gender. Personally I think “geeks” if you wish are very attractive, and not just guys who wear “geeky specks” and checkered shirts and braces, not that at all I am extremely attracted to intelligence and someone who can teach you a thing or two.
Also if my understanding of “bad” is correct I don’t think someone who cares more about getting into trouble with the police and being an annoyance to civilization rather than having a career and a good relationship with ONE woman is attractive at all.

Ponderer983's avatar

@nebule I just read those books in record timing!

I, too, am attracted to the bad bay image, but not as someone I would chose as a mate. I would date them and have fun, but not be interested in a long term. I’d like the combination package please, Mr. Grey ;)

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I will state that there have been one or two girls who told me no. Not lately. But it has happened.

laurenkem's avatar

Er, yeah, I gotta admit. I have fallen into the “bad boy” trap. He was gorgeous, rode a motorcycle, had tattoos and had an air of danger about him that was irresistible. His whole body exuded “exciting” and he was just oh-so-sexy!

Turned out, he was everything I knew he would be underneath the facade. A conniving, lying, thieving scum who took me for everything I was worth and then rode off on the motorcycle I had purchased for him.

That made me a sucker and an idiot for falling for it – it continues to make him scum for doing that to women.

Am I okay with the fact that it happened? Yes, otherwise I wouldn’t be where I am now. So that’s okay. His momentary gain will be my longterm gain and his ultimate downfall.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

You have no evidence to back up that ridiculous assertion.

jca's avatar

Many women like bad boys but then again many women like nerds, and everything in between.

RockerChick14's avatar

No I hate boys who try to act all bad.

this_velvet_glove's avatar

No, I don’t think so (but define ‘bad’. There are many different kinds of ‘bad boys’ out there).
And the guys I like are either quiet and mysterious, or crazy (like me). But not ‘bad’, no.

Paradox25's avatar

I’ve seen many men and women make questionable choices when it comes to choices of partners so I’m not sure this type of question is gender confined alone. Attraction is about each individual qualities a person has, and is not just about being ‘nice’. There are probably enough different personality types out there in which there is a suitable partner for everyone, though they’re not always easy to find. Damn even I’m not attracted to a girl just because she’s ‘nice’, but yet it’s definitely not all about looks either when it comes to me.

As far as the alpha and beta male/female paradigm goes, it does not really exist. I don’t consider people’s interpretations of others, or themselves to be the universal truth, so get the need to be more like an alpha male nonsense out of your head, if it’s there that is. It does seem that both men and women are turned off by needy people or people pleasers. Leaving an air of mystery about yourself never hurts either.

jca's avatar

Some girls are not even attracted to boys at all (not me, but just sayin’).

Crashsequence2012's avatar


Boring ones aren’t.

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