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Adina1968's avatar

How should you respond when someone tells you they are going through an amicable divorce?

Asked by Adina1968 (2752points) June 3rd, 2008

A client of mine emailed me and metioned that she is going through an amicable divorce. How can I respond? I am not sure what to say?

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12 Answers

occ's avatar

“I’m glad to hear you are working things out amicably. Still, I’m here to support you if you need anything. I know that change can always be tough…I’m here for you!”

jrpowell's avatar

Sometimes you don’t have to say anything. Every conversation must end at some time.

I get shit for this all the time. If someone makes a statement in an email I probably won’t respond. I will respond to a question. My mom does this all the time were she tells me what she had for dinner. I don’t really care and I won’t send her a response. Now she thinks that I am ignoring her and sends emails asking why I hate her.

Cardinal's avatar

Hmmmm why do you dislike your Mon JP? (Face it, sometimes you just can’t win regardless of what you do or say).

Dog's avatar

To me this means:

I am letting you know of a change in martial status. Mentioning amicable says “I am okay”

If the relationship is purely business then a light acknowledgment is acceptable such as “we have made note of your change in martial status”

If the relationship is more intimate what occ mentioned would be okay.

As one who has gone through an amicable divorce it can be more disturbing to answer the personal questions and concerns of others than it is to go through the actual divorce itself.

srmorgan's avatar

Wish her luck and keep your fingers crossed.


richardhenry's avatar

@Dog: No relationship should be quite that business. There’s no reason why you can’t wish her the best of luck, say you hope things are working out okay and that you are looking forward to speaking soon.

susanc's avatar

You can answer exactly as you would if someone told you they were having a hellish
love affair. You say, “Whoa. Want to say more?”

kevbo's avatar

“I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad things are amicable. [If I can be of any help/assistance, please let me know.]”

cheebdragon's avatar

“so then you haven’t told your spouse you filed for divorce yet…....?”

DeezerQueue's avatar

If she mentioned it in passing then she’s undoubtedly just passing along the information to you, perhaps believing that for some reason her status will have some modicum of impact on your professional dealings with her, that if she starts to ramble or is moody or distracted in some way, that you’ll have something to which you can attribute her behavior if it’s out of the ordinary.

Even amicable divorces are not always anticipated and make some kind of emotional imprint on people.

If it’s the only reason that she emailed you, to pass along this information, then I would probably respond that you’ve noted it, thank her for letting you know, and wish her the best. It may seem somewhat on the colder side, but since it’s a professional relationship that you have with her, it’s probably better to respond in a professional manner.

Adina1968's avatar

Thanks gang! I appreciate all the advice. It was VERY helpful. :-)

pattyb's avatar

well…..good luck with that!

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