General Question

AstroChuck's avatar

Now that you're in the witness protection program you get to pick your new name. What is it?

Asked by AstroChuck (37420points) June 3rd, 2008 from iPhone

My new name is -first name: Willie (for Willie Mays) – middle name: Fauntleroy (Donald Duck’s middle name) – last name: Caesar (because I’m fasinated with ancient Rome) The third (sounds more highbrow)
Willie Fauntleroy Caesar III I like how that sounds.

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37 Answers

Dog's avatar

John Doe- You do not see me, you do not know me, I am just your average nobody….

ezraglenn's avatar

Jeremy Bentham

shilolo's avatar

George W Bush….. Wait, was the question who we wanted to enter the witness protection program?

ebenezer's avatar

Knuckles McElroy

sndfreQ's avatar

I still chuckle when I hear the name “Brock Landers” (anyone recognize the reference?) friend also had a pretty funny pseudonym-Houston Ruddy.

They just sound so 80’s soap opera to me…

jlm11f's avatar

Ever since I wrote a paper on his classical music, I ALWAYS wanted to have Shostakovich as my last name. that name is SUPER cool. I had decided people could call me “Shosta” for short. (Wow i really hope that doesn’t mean anything bad in russian). As for a first name, I could go with “Sydney” just because it is my alias, so I would be Sydney Shostakovich. I don’t do middle names. i thought about “Bella” as a first name because i like the name, but then my initials would be B.S.

sndfreQ's avatar

@PnL-that has a nice ring to it…kind of like Marilyn Manson.

playthebanjo's avatar

wasn’t Brock landers in boogie nights?

jlm11f's avatar

Thank you sndfreQ, now if only i had the guts to make it official :D

sndfreQ's avatar

@playthebanjo: Bingo!

@PnL: I meant it in the best possible light-Marilyn Manson is a rock star!

jlm11f's avatar

i feel guilty taking up all this space (and so i whisper) on this question, but i know you did mean it as a compliment!

Dog's avatar

@ezraglenn Excellent answer!

susanc's avatar

Johnny Depp.

shilolo's avatar

Ok. Now for my real answer. Osama Bin Laden. I mean, if the FBI, CIA, NSA, and DoD can’t find OBL, I don’t think a lowly, Tony Soprano-wannabe is going to find me with that name either.

willbrawn's avatar


Babo's avatar


breedmitch's avatar

I wanna steal from Arrested Development.

Bob Loblaw

eambos's avatar

Staff Sgt Max Fightmaster.

Most badass name ever according to a list.

It just has a ring to it.

brownlemur's avatar

The Doctor.

iCeskate's avatar

bella bathin

AstroChuck's avatar

brownlemur- Doctor Who?

brownlemur's avatar

just the Doctor (yes).

AstroChuck's avatar

Then I get to be The Master.

eambos's avatar

And I’ll be The Controller.

AstroChuck's avatar

I’m not aware of that Timelord.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

Smokey Hollyhock. I will be a porn star in my new life.

sndfreQ's avatar

@Sueanne: me too haha (see above)

uno's avatar

John Connor, maybe? I like a good chase.

@Sueanne_Tremendous: If my life long dream of becoming a porn star ever came (pun absolutely intended) true, I shall call myself Richard Shaft.

eambos's avatar

@uno: ...

uno's avatar

@Eambos: I get that alot. :-P

Stocky's avatar

Charlie Hustle

iCeskate's avatar

I change mine… Know want it as David hassle hoff…

AstroChuck's avatar

I would love to see a flick starring Richard Shaft and Smokey Hollyhock. Perhaps Max Power could direct it.
Yes. I can see it: “Smokey Hollyhock and Richard Shaft in Violation of Rebecca – A Max Power film.”

uno's avatar

Oh, it is so on! My stage persona will need a mustache, mullet and a slightly hairy back. Better start shaving.

AstroChuck's avatar

And you need one more thing.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I met a truck driver the other day whose name was Rusty Bolt. That’s going to be my name when I join the Nitwits Protection Program. I think I’ll get a job as a mechanic.

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