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Should I tell my friend...?

Asked by bookish1 (13159points) September 15th, 2012

I’ve got another question about friendship and balance. I’ve made a new friend recently. We get along very well, have similar personalities and many interests in common, and we’re already to the point of doing favors for each other, taking turns treating each other, etc.

The problem is that his apartment is so filthy that I really don’t want to hang out there. Not what I would call “bachelor messy,” I can deal with that, but filthy as in, cockroaches all over the apartment, the bathroom has never been cleaned and there might not be soap or TP, cat crap on the floor, etc. I think he might be coming out of a period of deep depression, or maybe this is just how he is and it doesn’t bother him to live like that.

We hang out at bars and clubs, and we’ve hung out at both of our apartments. But now that I know what his place is like, I really only want to invite him to my place or meet him in public. It’s not a problem in terms of transport since we both have cars. I am not a neat freak by any means, but I do believe in having the place presentable when I have people over. Do you think I should just go with my inclination and avoid going to his place without making a big deal of it, or should I speak up about my reasons? He’s a sensitive guy and I fear hurting his feelings.

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