General Question

CuriousLoner's avatar

Am I attracting these girls to me?

Asked by CuriousLoner (1809points) September 15th, 2012

Still fairly new to Alaska so don’t really know anyone. I have not been in relationship in over a year and I’ve been wanting a relationship so I decided instead of waiting I would just try to put myself more out there…I’m 21 just for sake of the question so no one thinks I am some old creepy guy haha. I ask this question because I am starting to feel like maybe I am attracting these girls to me?? But why?

Anyways past months I have met 3 girls and all of them had problems of sorts… Long story short, I gave her numbers to woman’s shelter and free clinic nothing ever happened. Last I had known with her she found a job around town. Haven’t been in contact with her since then.

Now after that I just left my profile there didn’t mess with it much for a bit. Then I kinda stumbled upon one girl on the POF website whom we started just chatting. Now it said on profile she was 21 so eventually we talked exchanged phone numbers. Come to find out after talking more things made no sense. So I question on these things.

Apparently she was 16 and she has been tossed around between parents and grandparents, that she would cry for hours sometimes. I felt bad, but immediately told her that I would not date her or anything of like. I told her if anything she could talk to me if she needed someone to talk with,needed food or essential things.

Then this next girl I met in person, hit it off I guess and then mostly texts each other afterwards. Which is related to this question.

We eventually met again just walked around museum plaza place, and talked, was a nice time. At this I’m sitting next to her after a phone call I find out that she is not single, but “separated ” Still legally married. She says they are not together yet he calls her,ask for location, asks her to cook, and she tells me he is protective at times. What?? She eventually text me telling me the reason she works so much as a nurse is just to get away from him and not be home. Nothing has happened and prefer to be that way between us. If anything I’ll be friend. And no benefits just friend. I told her she needs to get away from this guy and if possible leave the area maybe. Which she plans to do just can’t yet.

Sigh So hopefully you can imagine by now how I don’t know…. disappointing it feels and deterring this is for me….I mean I don’t mind helping people, but over and over again it seems?? I realize no one is perfect,everyone has problems, but this is not what I had in mind.

What is the deal? Why do I keep running into this kind of stuff??

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7 Answers

serenade's avatar

Location, location, location.

WestRiverrat's avatar

One recurring quote I heard when traveling in Alaska was ‘the odds are good, but the goods are odd’

I heard it from both sexes. I have no proof, but I think the long winters tend to get to people after a while.

CuriousLoner's avatar

@serenade Do you mean Alaska as a whole? I am stationed here so… Not much choice I have I’m afraid haha. It is a small place too. Supposedly 70k people I’ve been told, but google tells me like 30k or so?? O.O

@WestRiverrat I’d have to agree, this will be my first winter here. Have not heard too many positive things about it. Also people like to drink , specially winter.

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nebule's avatar

I don’t know about location… but I tend to attract these types as well… and I’m beginning to think that there are some unconscious motivations going on in how I have come across these people. BUT…that could be totally wrong for you… x Hope you find someone genuine and lovely soon xx

AshLeigh's avatar

I’m pretty sure the location has nothing to do with it. I’ve lived in Alaska for all of my life, and not all of the females here are like that.
I think you’re just meeting your women in the wrong places.

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