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tups's avatar

Do you ever really stop searching for something more?

Asked by tups (6709points) September 16th, 2012

I’m not sure how to put this, but I’ll try to make it understandable.
I can only speak for myself here, since it’s the only person I have ever tried being, but when I look around at people I get a feeling that it’s the same for them. I’m constantly searching for something more. More of me, more of life, more of joy. I search for the deeper mening, who I am, what I’m supposed to do, where to go. Searching for more happiness.
So a week ago, when I was out at night, I felt like I realized something. That everybody’s searching for something more, the deeper meaning, who they are. But do we ever really find it and stop the search? Is life more than just a walk towards something? That night I had a strange feeling. I felt like I realized life. I realized there is nothing more, but in a way, it’s okay. I felt like the only thing you can do is to just go along. I’m thinking about my future often, what I want to do, how it will be better. But I have a feeling that life will be just as it is, forever. Of course new things will happen, I’ll go new places, but the state of life will be the same.
And that night I felt that I realized we all want the same thing, we’re all searching for the same thing, we’re just doing the same thing differently.

Alright, I don’t know if I make any sense here. I guess my question is:
Does this ever change? Do you know what I’m saying, do you feel the same way?

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13 Answers

marinelife's avatar

I recommend that you take a deep breath and stop and look around at where you are. Stop searching and enjoy living your present.

No, everyone is not searching. Many people are happy right where they are. Instead of searching for the deeper meaning of life, they are finding it in liing in the present moment with all of its rich layers.

starsofeight's avatar

It’s all about the quest. Being is the goal, but not being static. Not everyone knows what to look for. Some do not even suspect the possibilities. The seeker moves forward by exploring all directions. The inner man is not a singularity, but an amalgam: a connection re-established. I wish you well on your journey.

hearkat's avatar

Yes, we all start out seeking – typically in adolescence and early adulthood. But those who seek outside of themselves seem to never find the sense of serenity that can be found by looking within. So you have had an important epiphany. Knowing that there is more to learn and experience, but accepting that there is no way to know or experience it all, is a start. We are all right where we are supposed to be right now… focusing on the search distracts us from fully experiencing this moment. Make the most of here and now, and life will unfold and flow within you and without you…

creative1's avatar

I always set goals for myself but I am not searching for something better or more I am just looking to make myself the best possible person I can be while enjoying this short for meaningful life. I also strive to learn from mistakes I have made and try not to make them again.

Sunny2's avatar

No. I grew out of that stage of life. You gain perspective as you get older. If you’re lucky, you realize that where you are in life is okay and you make peace with your own existence. Until then, enjoy the search.

Coloma's avatar

No. The most sustainable “joy” comes from contentment, not wanting. Wanting and desire is an ego thing and if you are a slave to your ego you will never be happy, always chasing something new, people, things, stuff, experience, highs,and always in a constant state of wanting, always never satisfied for long even when you do attain your desires. Why will the satisfaction be short lived?

Because it is NOT the getting, it is the wanting that is drug that keeps you hooked, therefore you are doomed to never feel a sense of satisfaction and contentment in the HERE & NOW!

tups's avatar

I think I am, in some way, misunderstood here. This is not a case of living in the now or not. I do live in the now. Not always, but sometimes. But that’s not the case.
Do you know when you have a feeling that you can’t really put intro words? Well, that is the case for me here.

nebule's avatar

Hi @tups No I don’t think everyone is searching for something more, but I totally get where you are at. I am in the same place. I often think that the something more is actually being completely content in life… but when you are not content, well, you can’t just fake it. So yes, I’m searching for something more and I am very depressed at the moment..I don’t know whether you feel this too? The world seems very dull for me at the moment and I have lost hope in a lot of things but I have been in that place before where I have found that something more and felt joy and peace and excitement about life. So in answer to your question, I think we move in and out of these phases…hopefully! xx

wonderingwhy's avatar

More what? We can search for many things, but I believe the journey that is common to us all is that of unconditional happiness. This must be an internal search, it is a state, there is no “more” for which to seek, you can not have “more” happiness. Either you are unconditionally happy and your search is at an end (not so simple as it is to say) or you are not and must continue to learn (as most of us will do for our whole lives). If you’re speaking about extrinsic or personal journeys they, hopefully, continue our whole lives. From wants and desires to needs and curiosity, we never stop seeking. To do so would deny ourselves the countless experiences life has to offer including, most importantly, the journeys themselves.

YARNLADY's avatar

While I always accept that there is a lot more of my life to be lived, I have ceased actively searching for it.

hearkat's avatar

@tups – since you feel you’ve been misunderstood, could you please try to expand on what you mean? Rather than searching, do you maybe mean yearning? Or are there maybe other words that are close to what you mean – even if they don’t fit exactly?

linguaphile's avatar

@tups I do search for more all the time—and I’ve come to the point where I believe it’s part of my personality. I do not pine for more and do not have an idealized world, or a fantasy that I am hoping will materialize one day—no—but I always look for ways to improve, to learn, to grow. I can’t be any other way.

The reason I say it’s part of my personality is because I get bored very easily—always have—and when things become placid and routine, I literally become restless, suffocated and depressed. I feel most content and happy when I’m challenged and busy, or when I’m learning or exploring.

I have an envy and respect for those who can be content ‘growing where they are planted,’ but I’m wired differently—I’m never satisfied, always am looking for something else to stimulate me. Right now, my new things are a linguistics Masters and desert landscaping. I’ll also be taking on a new side job…

If you are yearning for something you don’t have, then I’d agree with the ones who said that you need to find contentment with what you have. If you are one of those people who is just filled with insatiable curiosity—keep up the hunt! There’s nothing wrong with that, IMO—the world needs more people with a curiosity trait!

wundayatta's avatar

@tups It’s hard to know what you are talking about. You clearly are struggling to express and idea, but you don’t seem able to focus in on it.

What I get is that you are experiencing a feeling. It sounds like a kind of dissatisfaction. I would label it as an existential feeling akin to the what is the meaning of life feeling. It reminds me of that sense that there’s some secret out there and maybe other people have it, but you don’t know what it is and it is tantalizingly close but it seems to stay away, always dancing just out of reach.

So it’s more a feeling than anything concrete. It could be motivation. It could be direction. It could be meaning. Or maybe Meaning with a capital M.

And this, I think is what others are responding to, since they talk about being instead of searching. You reject this. You insist that you are already being. But you’re looking, too.

It’s hard to know. My experience with this feeling is similar to others. When I was able to relax and get into what I was doing, that need to be doing something else slowly disappeared. The meaning and the something more are all about being fully into what our lives are now. Be Here Now, they say.

You may think you are here, but it’s kind of hard to have this feeling that you seem to be describing if you really are here. So perhaps you are living in your head somehow.

I don’t know how old you are, but this is the kind of feeling that often happens in your twenties. You can’t see your path so well. It could go anywhere, and that is disquieting.

When we get older, that feeling can happen again, particularly in the forties and fifties during the so-called “Midlife crisis.” Only then it’s usually different because you have work that has played out and kids that have left the house and now you face that same choice: whither now? The same openness. The same uncertainty.

Our minds love to worry. We like to think around and around things, especially big questions of life. My feeling is that that is a kind of entertainment. We like to be fraught so life seems intense, like it matters. In then end, it only matters to ourselves and maybe a few hundred or thousand friends, family members and colleagues. If you want to judge yourself that way, you can, but you’ll probably look bad.

It’s best not to judge yourself, I think. It’s best to follow ones impulses, but also to be kind and caring to others. If you are kind, others appreciate it, and they will make it easier for you to do what you want. So serving others comes first. It is both rewarding and it helps you figure out what you want/need to do.

Your path will unfold before you. If you think you’re supposed to do something, then you are thinking with your parents’ or teachers’ minds. You can listen if you want, but I think their guidance can be pretty onerous. Rather, it is better to seek and seek, being open to knowledge. Trust that in the seeking you will find that which turns out to be important to you. When you find it, allow it to sink into you, instead of feeling you must always seek. Be your future now and this feeling will dissolve as if it never existed.

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