Could anyone give me some advice on law school personal statement writing and editing?

Hello Fluther!

I have been going through a complicated journey lately. I am an American law student who has been studying abroad for the past 6 years. I have done an undergraduate degree in the UK in law, and now I am in my final year.

I’ve decided to come back to the States to continue my education when I graduate in July. It is difficult to put into words why exactly this is what I want to do, other than that I really do miss my ‘home land’, as cliche as this sounds.

I am preparing my personal statement for LLM programs. This is probably the most important piece of writing I will ever write and I am definitely feeling the pressure.

I have been writing this for about a month now. I leave it for days sometimes and re-read it, adding and deleting as necessary. I describe a very unique situation in terms of how I ended up upon the path to my studies, but I feel as though I am having difficulty making it really hit with a bang. While I do write very well in academic terms, I am finding this task to be particularly challenging – almost as bad as trusts!

My close friend has been very helpful in spotting obvious issues to be amended, but of course I fear that this is not the most interesting task for anyone not directly involved. I feel like I am basically on my own in the deep end writing this.

I was wondering if anyone may be able to offer some guidance in how to make my statement really shine. If anyone, a fresh pair of eyes with no background knowledge of me other than my statement would read and provide any kind of feedback, I would be exceedingly grateful. If this is a possibility, I could privately send my work. Any insights at all, would be greatly appreciated.